LuvPost - Love Stories by You

I will always return to you ~ by Johnson Chang

2007-09-14T11:47:00.001+08:00

Part 1

BRANDON:
Love...I never knew what love was. Growing up in a family that never showed or expressed their love, and finding out that the girl who I thought I was suppose to be with all my life suddenly leaving made it even harder to believe in. Lynette and I were friends since the beginning, and I never thought she would leave me so cold. This is how my story begins...

It all began during the 4th grade. Now at the age of 10 boys don't really like girls, and if one does. it isn't like love. Well I walked into my 4th grade class and took my assigned seat, but then someone was seated upon it. I didn't know who it was, but all i knew it was a girl. She was a new student.

"What are you doing in my seat?!" I asked. "This is your seat? Sorry." she apologized. "My name is Lynette" I replied "Umm...my name is Brandon" and that is how we met. As time progressed, we became best friends, which is really weird for little kids. Usually you would see two guys playing marbles or two gurls talking about Barbies, but it was different with me and Lynette, we were unseperable. The only intergenderal pair of kids.

Well, we made a pact one day..."Lynn, you are my best friend and I don't want to lose you, ever, in my life." I said. "Same here. Thanks for telling me that. I just wanted to add that without you, I don't know where I would be." she said. Then it hit me, "Let's make a pact that we will never leave eachother and will remain together forever and that one day, when we get older, we will never leave eachothers' sides." I said. Being a kid back then, not knowing what was going to happen, we actually thought that we would be together, forever. We were so young and innocent that it never occured to us that life would happen. "Okay" was her answer, and she sealed it with a kiss as she kissed me on my cheek.

It was the 8th grade now, 4 years after we met and we've matured and started dating people. I was always there for her with her guy problems. She dated more than I did because I wasn't really into that stuff. I was more into games and sports, but always lended an ear whenever she needed it. She was going out with my friend Johnny at the time while I was at home. I didn't know she was gone. I was having problems with my family. My mom was yelling at me for no apparent reason, no one knew my situation with my family, not even Lynette. "You are a stupid kid! There is no one stupider than you! Retard! How can you lose your wallet? You think we are rich and can afford to lose $40? You know I wish I never had a dumb child like you. I wish I could have killed you when you were born, save me all this trouble and money...etc. etc." My mom was yelling and her words hurt. I looked at my step father, but he didn't even attempt to stop it.(My mom divorced my real dad. I thought that my step dad would help out sometimes when we were getting yelled at, but he did nothing. After this incident I stopped calling him dad, and began to call him Alex because he wasn't anyone to me anymore) I ran to my room and put a chair to block the doorway(before she had a chance to hit me). I grew scared and I needed someone to talk to, so I decided that I would call Lynette. I called and her sister picked up.

"Is Lynn there?" I asked and heard a reply of "No." Crying and sitting by the wall my heart felt weird. It was the first time I ever felt this way. Hearing that she wasn't home and that she didn't even tell me where she went made my heart twist and twirl inside my ribcage. It was not necessarily pain or disappointment, but finding out she wasn't home really bothered me. Then it hit me. After four years of friendship, I finally realized that I liked her! Just as I realized that, my mom broke through the door and was even angrier than before. She had a bamboo feather duster in her hands and this time I was trapped. I had nowhere to go. She grabbed my arm and flung me onto the bed and began to punish me for what I had done, telling me how stupid I was after every hit...

*WHACK* You're a stupid child. How can you lose a wallet? *WHACK* $40! *WHACK* Retard! Handicapped! *WHACK* Why do I even bother with you? *WHACK* You should be dead!

I was crying my heart out, but not by the whipping I was recieving. The verbal abuse she kept telling me hurt a lot worse. *WHACK* I don't love you. I should have killed you!

I shut my eyes and the tears that were gathered in my eyes fell down and followed the trail that the previous ones left behind. At that moment was when I finally realized that I needed Lynette in my life, and that is the first time and only time I revealed my feelings for her. I whispered, "Lynn...I need you."

The next day Lynette asked me if we could talk. I agreed and she said that she would meet me at my house. She didn't sound too happy. I walked to my room and there was a knock on my window. It was her. I let her in, and she sat on my bed. "Sit," she said and patted the area right next to her on my bed. "I'd rather stand" I said rubbing my butt, remembering the punishment i recieved. She then told me the devastating news. "I don't know how to start this Brandon, but I'm moving away tomorrow. My mom and dad feel as if that you have been a bad influence on me, and want me to get as far away as possible from you, so they are making me move to France to a fancy boarding school. They say that I will become a refined woman this way. I'm sorry Brandon. I wish I could--" she was saying before getting cut off by me. "Get out!" I yelled. I didn't mean to sound harsh, but i just couldn't go through this after what I went through just the other day. "Brandon, I...I Lov--" she was saying. "I don't care. Get the hell out! You are leaving me and I can't handle that! You were suppose to be there for me, always? Remember? Remember that we would always be together?! You are breaking the pact! Remember the pact? Or was that all just a bunch of BS to you?! Forget it! Just leave!" I began breaking down and fell to the floor landing on my butt which brought more pain. She reached over and touched my shoulder, but I jumped back. "Dont touch me! Just get the hell out of here! Leave!" I screamed. "Okay, I'll leave, but I hope to see you tonight at our New Year's party right? I asked my mom and she said that we are leaving right after the party." She explained. "No, I don't want to see you. It's too hard. You should just leave because I don't want to start a new year with you if I can't finish this current year with you, so just leave. You may say you love me, but I only see you as a friend. I don't love you and as of right now, I hate you...GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!" With that said, she bursted out of my room crying and bursted out of my life...

I did not know how to react. I have never liked a girl before. When I finally did, she left me. What I'm angry about more, is that I never said goodbye. I never let her know how I felt, and now it has been three years since she left. I am now a Junior in high school and my heart hasn't forgave me for what I've done. I regret doing that, but what's done is done. A lot of things have happened since she left and I can't handle everything that's happening. My family life hasn't improved any now than it was in the past, I was beginning to move on, but I was struggling with school and isolated myself, so i had no more friends. So here we are in the present and caught up. I decided to end it all here, and was going to commit suicide this night. I decided to go online and say my goodbyes, but it was more than just that, something was telling me to sign on. Like i needed to sign on before I did what I planned on doing. I was trying to stall as long as possible because I didnt want to die, but I had no reason to live. I saw all of my online contacts on and I didn't want to talk to any of them. I grew annoyed. I recieved like 8 IM's, but didn't feel like talking. When the feeling of hope went away, I was about to sign off. That's when someone IMed me with the screenname of SwTBbChEeKz. I didn't know who it was, but something felt right about replying back. The little feeling of hope I had returned. I accepted the message and saw the words that saved my life...
SwTBbChEeKz: Hi! You seem cool!

Part 2

DIANA:
'Gosh I am sooo bored! I feel so lonely too. Hmmm...let's see who's online? Blah. It's only Tommy and Rachel. I had a thing for Tommy, for some odd reason, I liked him, but he decided to go for my friend Rachel. Ugh, this sucks! Why do these things always happen to me? I really have to expand my buddy list. I think I will talk to some weird people I don't know. Hmmm...look at all these people: AzNFrOgGy4U, LiLAnGeL4rmAbOvE, AznOnE. What losers!Hahaha. I think i will just talk to Rachel. Wait a minute, who is this person? His screenname seems interesting, LoStWiDwOrDz. Hmmmm....I remember a guy named Brandon with that same screenname. Maybe that's him! But I don't want to sound stupid, 'Hi! Remember me? That gurl you used to talk to? Well I used to like you, so what's up?' Uhh...no. How naive can I be? Ugh! Besides, it might not even be him! It's not like there is only just one Brandon in the world. His name isn't that uncommon. Hmm...I think I will IM him. Oh well, here goes nothing.'

SwTBbChEeKz: Hi! You seem cool!
LoStWiDwOrDz: Ummm...thanks, but I am kinda busy and I am going to sign off right now, so perhaps you should just leave me alone.
SwTBbChEeKz: Oh I see. Bad day? Bad life? I know how you feel.
SwTBbChEeKz: Oh sorry, you wanted me to leave you alone. Okay, but before I go, are you Brandon Hao?
LoStWiDwOrDz: What? Huh?! How do you know me?
SwTBbChEeKz: You answer me first, since I asked first.
LoStWiDwOrDz: Yeah I am Brandon Hao. Now who are you? Because I don't feel like talking to anyone at the moment. I am busy and I need a reason to stay on, and trust me, I need a reason.
SwTBbChEeKz: Well I am Diana. We used to be friends in the 6th grade, but then my parents made me move away...we kept in contact though like two years ago...my sn was QTBabieDi...
LoStWiDwOrDz: Oh my God! Diana! Long time no talk! =) So what is going on Dee?
SwTBbChEeKz: For one it's not Dee, it's Di. Di with an "I" not "EE" but its pronounced the same, like the letter "D" got that smarty?
LoStWiDwOrDz: Haha. Wow I haven't smiled or laughed in a long time.

'Wow! It was him!' Diana thought to herself. She began to feel a weird feeling. All of her feelings she had for Brandon began to resurface, and she began to feel weird. She knew that she had started to like him again, but what did he mean by "busy?" She didn't bother to ask him and soon forgot. They caught up on their life and everything else. It turned out that Lynette, his friend who he had grown to like moved away. I remember those two used to be unseperable. Everyone thought that they would be together forever. 'He still doesn't like me. Why do I even hope?' she thought to herself. The story about him and Lynette was so sad. He never got a chance to say good bye or anything, and he kicked her out of his house, when she was about to say "I LOVE YOU." He never told her that he liked her.

BRANDON:
'This is sooo weird! Diana Wu, the girl that I was infatuated with while Lynn was seeing other people, actually remembers me!! I mean I wasn't with Lynn, and she was the girl of my dreams.' Brandon thought. He began to feel queasy. He felt his heart twist amd turn and he knew that he was beginning to like Diana again. "But I can't tell her. She doesn't like me. We are nothing more than friends.' he thought. He found out that Diana was just looking for someone to talk to, and saw his screenname not expecting it to be him. She was going to say that it was a dare if it wasn't him. They ended up talking for the rest of the night, making Brandon forget what he planned to do that night, and she soon became the reason for his existance. She was the reason why he wanted to live, and they became close and then best friends. As it turns out, Diana had moved back to California, but not in the same area. Weeks passed by and they became closer and closer. They would see eachother often and kick back at eachothers' houses. They were at his house one day, and were laying down on the sofa. 'Why can't I just say Di I like you?! I already let one gurl get away from me for not revealing my feelings' he thought. 'Life is just so hard!' They were talking, and Diana brought up something of Brandon's past. Out of nowhere Diana asks Brandon, "Brandon, will you promise me one thing?" "Of course" Brandon replied. "Promise me, that we will always be together forever and be friends til the end." Now this sounded oddly familiar, and then it hit him, Lynette. He began to break down just hearing the same situation being somewhat repeated.

DIANA:
'What was happening?' she thought. I just said some little things about a promise and then he started crying. Then it hit her, Lynette. 'How can I be so stupid?!' This thing happened to him before with Lynn! Diana thought, 'I think I just blew whatever chance I had with him. This just proves that he still likes Lynn.' Diana looked heartbroken, but hid her feelings. "Are you okay? I'm sorry. I forgot about what happened." she tried to explain. "Don't worry. My answer is yes. I will promise you that." he said and then out of instinct I kissed him on the cheeks. "Do you remember how we met?" I asked trying to change the subject. "No, sorry I don't" he said. "You dont?!" I asked shocked. "I still do. Though we were like 6th graders then. I remember you were talking to your friends about Power Rangers, but you were trying to play it off as if you didn't like them. Well I told you that I thought the Power Rangers were cool, and then your friends started to tease me, but then you jumped in and defended me. It was so cute." We talked and talked about our past and how we first met and I don't know when it happened, but we both fell asleep. When I woke up, I was in his arms. I fell asleep in his arms! Life was good. There was nothing that could ruin this moment! Then the phone rang.

BRANDON:
*RING RING* The phone was ringing. I woke up and went to pick up the phone. As I woke up, I saw Di in my arms and her eyes staring at me. I gave her a smile. She is so beautiful, and what was happening with me and her was the exact same thing that happened with me and Lynn. I shook the idea out of my head and picked up the phone. "Hello?" I said half asleep. "Hello?!" said a fairly familiar voice. "Lynn?!" I replied. This made Diana scrunch up her face, but I couldn't see very well. "Hi!" she said. "I miss you so much, and I am coming back to California to see you! Isn't that great?! Well I really have to go now, gotta get my order before someone else takes it! Bye! I LOVE YOU!" Lynn said. This made me freeze. *CLICK* The dial tone sounded. I held the phone to my ear for about a minute before I realized what she had said. 'Did she actually say I love you?' I thought, and then my heart felt all weird. I looked at Diana and I thought about Lynette. Why was my heart acting this way? Who was it twirling for? I liked Diana a lot and I have been liking her for the past year, and now all of a sudden Lynn is returning and my heart does flips? I wanted to tell Diana that I liked her because I didn't want to lose her like I did with Lynette. Now she is coming back! Everything was so perfect with Di, and now Lynn is coming back, complicating things. "Was that Lynn? The girl from your past?" Diana asked kind of hurt. "Yes." I replied. "What did she want?" she asked. "She is coming to visit." I said stupidly.

DIANA:
After hearing that she was coming back, I ran out of the house not knowing where to go. Trying to hold back my tears. Not that far behind was Brandon chasing after me. I rubbed my eyes and he caught up to me. "Where are you going?" he yelled, "DIANA!" "What?!" I said and stopped running and catching my breath. "Why are you running? Why does it bother you that Lynette is coming back anyways?!" He asked me and was trying to catch his breath. "It just does." I said sounding dumb. "You like me or sumthing?" he teased me. 'Oh, how I wanted to say yes and take him in my arms and kiss him right then and there, but i couldn't.' "ME?! Like you? HA! Don't flatter yourself!" I said this kind of hurtful, but I didn't wnt him to know. I was thinking 'Hell yes, I like you,' but the words just never com out. "Come on you have nowhere to go, at least nowhere walking distance. Let's go back to my house." Brandon said. "Okay" I said. I stood there a while and then decided I would tell him that I liked him. "Well I really do like you. I have always liked you. That's why it bothers me when you said that Lynn was coming back--" I said and turned around to find myself alone. He left me alone in the middle of the street. I stomped my way back to his house.

~Two Days Later~
BRANDON:
;;Passengers now arriving Terminal 3 from France...;;

I was waiting for Lynn at the airport. Diana decided to stay at my house. "BRANDON?!" "Lynn?!" "Long time no see! So, how've you been?" I said as I hugged her. "I have been good, but I have missed you so much." she said. It felt weird for her to say that after so long. We reached my car, and she put her things in the trunk. We drove back to my home. "I'm sorry about what happened the last time I saw you." I told her. "Well that's one of the reasons why I came back. About that, I was trying to tell you that I loved you, before you told me to leave, including other things. Then on the phone the other day, I told you that I love you. Well I do, and now I have proved it to you." she explained. "What are you talking about?" I asked. "I left everything at France. My schooling, my parents, all those guys...for you!Because although I left you, I never stopped thinking about you and I knew that leaving you was wrong. I was dumb to leave you, but I had no choice. When I thought back upon it, I shouldn't have listened to my parents, and instead should have followed my heart. So I took the first flight back and want to make things right!" she explained. Her explanation gave me thoughts of Diana. Diana appeared in my mind. Diana, a girl who was really sweet and cared for me, is at my home waiting for me, while I pick things up with an old flame?! I began to feel sick in the stomachm, but it made me realize that Lynn did not mean as much to me as Diana did and it was decided that when I get back home, I would reveal my love for Diana. I was no longer held back from loving someone else because it was obvious now that Lynn wasn't as special to me as Di was. Lynn then asked me a question which caught me off guard. "Do you love me?" "HUH?! What?" I said as I turned my head to look at her. I was not paying attention to the road. When I turned my head back to the road, a glimpse of a car flashed in my view. "BRANDON! LOOK OUT!" Lynette screeched, and I tried to swerve away, but it was too late.

*CRASH*

DIANA:
Where is he? It is night and he hasn't come back yet. That means he's out with Lynette. I knew he couldn't like me. What would he see in me when he has Lynn? Why would he like me? Tears began to stream down her eyes. *RING RING* I picked up the phone and heard a voice, "Hi. Is Mr. or Mrs. Hao there? This is Doctor Wong." Hearing it was a doctor, out of reflex, I replied, "I am Mrs. Hao." "I'm sorry to say, but Brandon Hao is in a coma, and the girl in the passenger side survived with minor injuries. If you would like to visit your son, stop by the Cyanide Health Center. We know that it is hard to hear news like this, so if you need counseling--" I threw the phone down and drove to the hospital. As I arrived, I saw Lynn was waiting in the waiting room with a bandage on her head. "Where can I find Brandon Hao? He was involved in a car accident earlier today." I asked the nurse, but a voice from behind me answered for her. "He is in Room 457 and he is still in a coma. No visitors are allowed to see him yet." said the voice. I glanced over and said, "Lynette?" "That is me." she replied. I didn't like her. I should be here to support Brandon, and she should be back in France. Better yet, Brandon wouldn't be here, if she didn't come back. "Why don't you take a little rest and I'll wait for any news on Brandon." I told her, just to be nice. "Thanks. You are so sweet!" she said as she layed down for a rest.

~5 hours later~
"You can visit him if you'd like. He isn't awake, but you can talk to him. Sometimes people in comas will understand you when you communicate to them during their sleep." the doctor explained. I was about to wake Lynette up, but the doctor told me to let her rest. She didn't have to tell me twice. I walked into Room 457 and saw Brandon hooked up to the tubes with a life resporator hooked up to him. She began to cry the instant she walked in. "Brandon, how can this happen to you? You are suppose to be the strong one remember? You are the one who is suppose to protect me and I feel so vulnerable right now. I am the one who got angry, and now I regret it. You can't leave me! I won't let you! I care too much for you, and I love you. I LOVE YOU! I am sorry that I didn't tell you earlier, but I was scared. Not as scared as I am roite now. You can't leave me now, I LOVE YOU!! Remember our promise? You promised that you would never leave me. I am still here, but you have to be here too!" she started crying and held on to his hand. She looked at the ceiling, "God, I don't ask you for much, I have not been the best church going person, but you can't let him leave me. He has helped me through soo much! He can't go yet! Please give me a sign that he will be alright." I had a sudden feeling as if someone was looking me, glaring at me, burning a hole through my back. I turned around and saw a hurt expression in Lynn's eyes. She turned around and walked away. I began to cry more and a tear dropped off my chin and landed on his hand. I felt his hand twitch. He began to wake up! "DOCTOR! DOCTOR!" I screamed, and I kissed him on the lips and said, "Oh Brandon! You're all right! I love you so much, and i was afraid that I had lost you!" He looked puzzled and shocked and then he asked, "Who are you?"

BRANDON:
~Two Weeks Later~
It was weird, I woke up and found myself in a hospital with a gurl kissing me, and saying that she loved me. I have established that the gurl that loved me was Diana and that I was Brandon, but I didn't know which part the other girl, Lynn, played. It was obvious that Lynn and Di disliked eachother. We were all in my room which felt kind of weird, even though I don't remember anything, the last thing I remember was waking up and feeling something soft on my lips, and seeing Diana right there kissing me, i knew that it was my first kiss, but did I feel the same way she felt about me? Why was I so attracted to that Lynette girl? Everything is soooo confusing! I want to remember everything, but I can't! I looked over at Lynette, and then had some light memories of some children. Did I have kids with her? No. Then it hit me. Lynette was my childhood love! I remembered all of the things we did. It was becoming clear to me. It was her. "I remember now, and I Love you too." I said. They both looked at me. Waiting for the name that would come after those three special words. Each hoping it would be their name. "I Love You too, Lynn"

DIANA:
He picked her. He picked Lynn, after all that we have gone through this past year? I was going to finally admit to him that I loved him when he came back from the airport. I was ready to accept everything, even if that meant rejection, and one incident occurs and now everything is shattered. Lynn looked at Di and gave her one of those, "Haha, I'm better than you are!" look and then walked to Brandon and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Just seeing that made me want to throw up! I stood up. "Is this your decision, Brandon?" "You heard him, he said 'Lynn'." Lynn said gloating. "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you." I said moodily, but tried to hold back my anger. Tears began to form in my eyes. "After all that we have been through, Brandon? For the past year? Don't you remember the late night talks, the fun, the times we shared together?" I couldn't take it and I broke down and cried. "You are my first love, my first kiss, you are my everything! Please...just...remember!" He stood up and left the room.

BRANDON:
I couldn't deal with all those memories all at once. I began to see everything, but bunched together. It was like a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle with only 200 pieces completed. I began to think of everything that happened, my family life, Lynn, Diana, the near suiside, and something finally snapped. Everything was so clear, almost. I opened the door and over heard their conversation. "Shut up you lieing backstabber!" Lynette exclaimed! "What?!" I asked confused and dumbfoundedly. "She told me to go to sleep at the hospital so when the doctor told her it was okay to visit you, she could have you all to herself!" "That is a lie! I was going to wake you up, but the doctor said to let you rest. Did you forget that you had a minor head injury?" Diana explained. "I am regaining my memory back, but I will have to have more time to think about this. Lynn. Diana. If you can give me a little more time to--" I was saying, but then both of them just left! I chased after both of them. They went outside, and went in different directions. I was left in the middle. Whoever I chased after would be the one that I chose. I looked at Lynn and remembered everything I had with her. MY PAST. Then I turned to Diana and remembered everything I had shared with her. She was my first kiss. MY PRESENT. Now I had to choose MY FUTURE. I looked at Lynette and saw the first girl that I liked. I looked at Diana. The second girl I liked and I had to choose who was my first love? I turned to look at Lynette. "This isn't really fair!" I yelled. "It's up to you to choose. Don't forget about our pact?!" Lynette yelled, and then it hit me. All the pieces in the puzzle fit, and it was complete. My decision was made. I smiled at Diana and gave her a wink. Then I ran to Lynette.

Part 3

DIANA:
"He left me for her?!" Diana said to herself as she saw Brandon run to Lynn. She couldn't believe her eyes. She didn't believe what just took place. She looked as Brandon stopped Lynette and saw her jump into his arms. "This is how it ends, everyone just leaves and plays with my feelings. I won't put up with this anymore." I thought and then turned and ran as far and fast as I could. She kept running and running. She ran across streets not caring whether the light was green or whether there was a car or not. All she felt like doing was running. A car was coming heading her way. The driver was too busy talking on his cell phone to notice Diana on the road. It wasn't slowing down. It was getting closer and closer. Diana wiped the tears away from her eyes with the back of her sleeves and looked up. She saw the car coming and froze, not knowing what to do. She wanted to run, but couldn't move. She was frozen with fear and closed her eyes and waited for the car to hit her body. Waiting for the impact of the car. Her eyes were shut tight, waiting.

*HONK*

She heard the horn and sensed that this was it, and then it happened. She felt herself get hit and then landed on a soft surface. She thought it was a cloud. She opened her eyes and saw the clouds were above her, meaning she hit the grass and someone was on top of her. Someone with their arms wrapped around her. She looked at this foreign object that was holding on to her for dear life and saw that it was Brandon!! Right there with her, holding on to her. He was shaking. It felt nice to have him so close, but why was he trembling? He finally decided to look at what happened and looked down at me and then said, "Are we dead? Are you an angel?" And all I could do was smile. It was cute, but then I remembered that he ran to Lynn and chose her. I pushed him away. "Aren't you suppose to be with 'her'?" I asked bitterly holding back a tear. "Why do you think I am here?!" he said with a smile. I looked at him not knowing what he meant, as he explained what happened.

BRANDON'S EXPLANATION:
As I looked at Lynn, she yelled, "Don't forget the pact!" And then it hit me, she broke it. She left, it was her who broke it, and now she was trying to use it against me. That is straight out wrong, so I ran to her to tell her my decision, and my decision was you, Di! "About that pact" I was telling Lynn "You broke it when you left me! You said we'd be together forever and then you left me when I needed you the most, and you come back expecting me to choose my past over my present? Your just wrong and I'm sorry it has to end like this. You love me, but I don't feel the same for you. If this was like 3 or 4 years ago or somewhere near there I would have loved you, but not anymore. You hurt me too much! Did you know that because of you leaving me that I almost took my own life for you? I am still here because guess who? Diana was there for me, and we've been through so much together in the past year then we have in the past decade. To think I almost ended my life because you left me feeling so depressed. You played with my mind and said you loved me, I am not some prize to be awarded to you because after 4 years or so you decided to do the right thing. Well it's 4 years too late for that and you can't change that, and neither you nor I can change the fact that I LOVE DIANA" And then I realized what I just said. I Love Diana! I turned around and saw that you were gone, so I ran after you. Not wanting to lose you, I ran in your direction. I knew my choice was you, and I ran and I ran and then I saw you. You were standing there in front of the the street, and that was when I spotted the car. I ran as fast as I could to catch up to you before the car did. I didn't care if I had to return to the hospital or if I died, but for damn sure I wasn't going to see the another girl leave my life, but this time it was the girl of my dreams, and this time it would have been FOREVER. I ran and ran and then I was right there and the car was so close. I tackled you onto the grass. I was trembling and afraid that I was too late. When I opened my eyes I saw you below me, looking down at you surrounded by the grass, I thought we didnt make it. I didn't know what had happened, and the first thing that I thought was that I was dead, and that was why I asked you, "Are we dead? Are you an angel?" And you just smiled. Once I saw that smile I knew that everything would be all right.

DIANA:
He saved my life. He left Lynn for me, which meant that I was his decision! I began to cry, and I wrapped my arms around him. "I LOVE YOU, BRANDON!" I said through tears. "I LOVE YOU TOO, DIANA!" This time he got the name right! He continued. "I always have! I was just so blind and I didn't trust anyone after what happened to me with Lynette. I couldn't realize my love for you. Remember when you IMed me that one day? Like way back, when we started talking again? Well that day was the day I planned to kill myself, end it all. I had no reason to live, and if you hadn't of IMed me, I probably would have been dead. I never thanked you and you were always there for me no matter what. I should have told you a lot earlier, but I was scared. Scared of rejection and I am grateful for being alive. I am so happy that I found you! I never thought that I would ever find love after what happened to me. I never thought I could trust anyone again, and if I never would have found you I wouldn't have found love in the first place. So, yes I LOVE YOU, and you mean the world to me. Lynn was my past, you are my present, and now my future. Not to forget that we have that little promise to eachother." Brandon explained. I smiled at him and was crying, tears of happiness. Then I kissed him.

"I LOVE YOU TOO, but you did leave me though, when you ran to Lynn. You scared me and I thought you chose her over me," I said still with tears in my eyes.

"I'd never leave you for her or anyone else. I am really sorry. I had to tell her that she broke the pact. I gave you a smile and a wink, but I guess that wasn't clear enough. Besides Di, you never have anything to worry about, I could be gone for years and you wouldn't have to worry because..."

"I WILL ALWAYS RETURN TO YOU!"

[The End]

It was you all along ~ by wreck7essdr1ver

2007-09-14T11:35:00.000+08:00

The Younger Days...
Let me out!" screamed a terrified eight year old Sung Hoon. He was trapped in total darkness with four walls closing in on him. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he remembered what had happened.

He was playing hide and seek with two boys from hisschool. Their names were Eun Ji Won and Chu Tae Won. Sung Hoon was so happy when they invited him to join them. In school Sung Hoon was the most popular kid because his aunt was the famous actress, Jung Yeh Ja, but when all the excitment about her was over, he was lonely all over again. In real life, Sung Hoon doesn't have any friends because all the other kids assumed he wsa to good to play with them.

"Okay," said Ji Won, "I'll seek and you guys hide. 1...2...3...4..." Sung Hoon jumped with excitment and started running to find a place to hide. He saw a refrigerator near his house. He wondered where it came from, but then didn't care because it would make a great hiding place. Sung Hoon hid for a while and then he heard Ji Won's and Tae Won's voices. He wondered what was going on and then he heard a noise. "I hope you like it in there Sung Hoon!" 'What?' thought Sung Hoon. He tried to push open the door, but it wouldn't budge. He felt trapped and started to gasp for air. He pounded on the door and screamed, "Let me out you guys!" Ji Won just laughed. "Why don't you ask your aunt Yeh Ja to help you? Act like you're better than us just because she is famous." Sung Hoon's heart sank. He couldn't believe it. He thought Ji Won and Tae Won were his friends, but they had tricked. He began to cry. "I don't act like I'm better. Please let me out!" Tae Won began to laugh. "Teach you to mess with us." Then he and Ji Won left.

In the dark Sung Hoon sat and curled himself into alittle ball. He was terrified. He was scared of the dark and worse, he was afraid of being alone. Then he heard a knocking. A little girly voice called out, "Is someone in there?" Sung Hoon stood up and banged his fists against the door. "Hurry up and let me out!" "Wait!" He heard the noise of wood sliding and the door suddenly opened. Just as he saw light coming, he pushed his way out. He bent over and began breathing fast because he almost ran out of air when he was inside the refrigerator. Then a pair of Mary Janes came into his view. When he looked up, he saw a pair of big brown eyes staring back at him. It was a little girl in pigtails that saved him. They looked at eachother for a while anbd didn't say anything. Then the girl looked down and kicked her foot into the dirt. "Ummm...what were you doing in my fridge?" Sung Hoon looked at her and then he turned away and ran into his house, leaving the little girl staring after him.

'Huh? What just happened here?' Kyung Hee thought. "Aye! I'll never understand boys!" she screamed out lod. She was watching Sung Hoon as he ran into the house next door. "what don't you understand, sweetie?" her grandpa asked as he came out to the front porch to look for her. "Oh nothing, grampie." "Come here." He waved for Kyung Hee to come sit with him on the porch swing. She walked over to him and sat on his lap. "yes, grampie?" "Do you like it here?" She nodded her head. "Uh huh. I get to be with you all the time, but I'm still mad at mommy and daddy for leaving me." She frowned and crossed her arms. Her grandpalet out a little laugh. "Silly girl, your parents are geologists. They have to travel around the world. They can't take you with them because you have school. Besides, they'll send you presents." Kyung Hee's eyes got wide. "Presents? A lot?" "Yes." She clapped her hands. "Yay!"

Back at home Sung Hoon buried his face into his pillow and cried. Then he heard a knock on his door. "Sung Hoonee?" Sung Hoon quickly wiped his nose on his sleeve. "Yes? Come in." Then his mother came in. "What's wrong honey? Why are you crying?" He shook his head. "Oh, it's nothing mommy." His mom looked around his room. "Where are your friends?" Sung Hoon tried his best not to cry. "They....they went home." His mom hugged him. "Oh, you're sad that they had to go home so early?" Sung Hoon held on to his mom tighter and didn't answer. His mom thought for a while. "Hey, I know. A new family just moved in next door. An old man and a little girl. We can go over and meet them. Do you want to?" Okay mommy."

*DING DONG*
Kyung Hee stopped putting her toys away and looked up at the front door. 'Hmmm...I wonder who it could be?" "Kyung Hee! Answer the door!" "Okay grampie." When she opened the door she saw a pretty lady and the boy she helped earlier. "Hi!" She grabbed Sung Hoon's hand. "Are you okay?" Sung Hoon just looked at her and didn't answer. "oh, you two already met?" "Not really. I don'y even know his name." "I see. You can call me Mrs. Kang and this is my boy Sung Hoon. Is your grandfather home?" "Uh huh. My name is So Kyung Hee. Come in." Kyung Hee closed the door behind them. Then she ran upstairs to get her grandpa. Her grandpa told her, "Why don't you and Sung Hoon go outside while Mrs. Kang and I have a talk?" "okay grampie. Come on Sug Hoon," she said as she pulled him out of the house with her. When they got outside, Kyung Hee felt a hard shove behind her back. She fell on the grass, but something there cut her leg and made her bleed. She looked up and saw Sung Hoon glaring at her with the coldest eyes she has ever seen. 'Don't pretend you want to be my friend.' thought Sung Hoon. He was going to make Kyung Hee pay for what Ji Won and Tae Won did to him. "Why did you push me?" "I hate ugly girls! And you are really damn oogly!" Kyung Hee opened her mouth in shock. She began to cry. Sung Hoon felt bad but he was still mad at what those guys did to him so he wasn't going to stop. "What? Oh, are you crying? You are such a baby!" That made Kyung Hee instantly stop. She stood up. "I'm not a baby!" "Yes you are!" Sung Hoon yelled back. Then he yanked on one of her braids and pulled the ivory ribbon out. "Ow!" She yanked back her hair and then replied, "You're the baby! Who was crying inside my fridge, huh?" That made Sung Hoon really mad. He pushed her hard. She fell down and cried really loud. Her grandpa and Mrs. Kang ran out. "What happened Kyung Hee?" Kyung Hee pointed her finger at Sung Hoon. She began to sob again. "He...he--" "I accidentally made her fall," cut in Sung Hoon. Kyung Hee looked up at Sung Hoom in shock. 'That liar!' she thought. "I'm sorry," said Sung Hoon as he began to bawl. He looked at Kyung Hee with his puppyish eyes. "I didn't mean to make you fall." Mrs. Kang held Sung Hoon. "I know you didn't mean to make her fall." Then her grandpa asked, "are you okay Kyung Hee?" Kyung Hee looked up and saw Sung Hoon's ;ips move. "Baby," he said loud enough just for her to hear. Kyung Hee bit her lower lip. "I'm okay grampie. It was an accident." "I'm sorry Mr. So, but I have to be home and prepare dinner for my husband. It was a pleasure meeting you. Bye Kyung Hee!" "Bye," said Sung Hoon and he gave Kyung Hee a wave. Kyung Hee watched them as they left. Then she saw Sung Hoon turn around and give her a little smirk. She glared back at him. 'It's war. I'm going to hurt you one of these days Kang Sung Hoon,' she promised herself. This was the beginning of a NOT so beautiful friendship...

~Five Years Later~
(During these years Sung Hoon and Kyung Hee went to school together everyday. Kyung Hee was the target of Sung Hoon's tortures every single day. He would call her names and hit her. He would push her around in school, but in front of adults, he would act like he wsa her best friend. It was a nightmare for Kyung Hee because Sung Hoon requested to have every class with her, and he was her partner in every single project. What's worse was Sung Hoon became the most popular boy in school, so she couldn't get anyone on her side to help her avoid him. Also during this time, Sung Hoon met Kim Jae Duc and Lee Jae Jin. It took them a while before Sung Hoon would trust them. Eventually they became Sung Hoon's best friends as they hang out together more often. He let them in on the fun of teasing Kyung Hee, but would never let them physically harm her. And so it begins...Junior High...)

"Head's up!" Kyung Hee glanced up and saw a blurry object headed her way. Before she could block it, it hit her right smack on the head and gave her a bruise. "Ow!" She yelled and began to rub the spot where it hit her head. Sung Hoon began to walk towards her. He was teh one who threw the football. "Awww...did it hurt?" Kyung Hee glared at him, but he just smiled at her. She clenched her teeth and answered, "No." Right behind Sung Hoon was Jae Duc and Jae Jin. They were laughing. "Hope you didn't make her cry man!" said Jae Jin. Jae Duc shook his head. "Naw...her head has too many bones in it." "maybe that's why they call her 'Bonehead!'" yelled Sung Hoon. All three of them started busting out laughing and gave each other high-fives. Kyung Hee stood up. "You idiots! There are no bones in the head! You don't know anything! No wonder all of you are so dumb to make that stupid joke. I hope all three of you fail and repeat 8th grade!" Jae Jin looked at her. "Awww...you don;t mean that Kyung Hee. Cuz that means that you'll graduate before Sung Hoon." "yeah," added Jae Duc. "You don't want to leave your Sung Hooney, do you?" Kyung Hee's face turned red. "Shut up Jae Jin and Jae Duc! Kang Sung Hoon is nothing of mine!" She points a finger at Sung Hoon. "I hate you!" Sung Hoon just gave her a smile and said, "No you don't." "Ahhh!" she screamed and then stomped back to class.

'Those jerks,' Kyung Hee thought. 'Damn you Sung Hoon. Act like you're King of the school. I hope you get kicked off your throne!' She began to imagine herself choking Sung Hoon and she wasn't watching where she was going. Then she felt herself bump into someone. "Ow!" said a voice. "Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going. Here let me help you up." Kyung Hee bent down to help the guy up. She noticed he had a long neck and really beautiful eyes. Then she cursed herself for staring at him. He was cute! "Sorry about that." "It's okay." He gave her a really sweet smile. "By the way, my name is Ko Ji Yong. And you are?" "I'm So Kyung Hee. Nice to meet you Ji Wong oppa. Are you new here?" "Yeah, first day." "Let me see your schedule." Kyung Hee looked at the list Ji Yong gave her. "Hey, you take Tae Kwon Do?" "Yeah, I was the Junior Champion back at my old school. SO do we have any classes together?" "Really? That's tight! Hmmm...we have four classes together." 'He has four out of six classes with me,' she thought. 'Damn, that monster Sung Hoon has all six with me. Maybe Ji Yong will be the only guy here who won't listen to Sung Hoon and pick on me. Who knows? He might even kick Sung Hoon's butt in Tae Kwon Do!' Just the thought of Sung Hoon getting beat up made Kyung Hee yell out "Yay!" Ji Yong looked at her surprised. "Why are you so happy?" "Oh, nothing. Come on Ji Yong oppa, let me take you your first class with me."

Sung Hoon tapped his foot impatiently against his desk. 'Where the hell is Kyung Hee? She should have been here before me and the others.' He sent Jae Duc and Jae Jin to go out and find her. He began to worry, but then he heard Kyung Hee's voice. He watched her talking to a strange guy. They both sat down in a corner and then that guy handed Kyung Hee back her back pack. 'This does not look good,' thought Sung Hoon.

Kyung Hee looked over Ji Yong's shoulder and saw Sung Hoon looking at them. 'Eat your heart out Sung Hoon.' Ji Yong had been so sweet to her. 'I wish Ji Yong was my older brother,' she thought. 'That way he can protect me from that animal Sung Hoon.' ANd just then Sung Hoon walked up to them. "Hi. I'm Sung Hoon, the school's representative. And you are?" he looked at Ji Yong. Ji Yong started to analyze Sung Hoon. 'So this is the guy who's picking on Kyung Hee.' Then a conversation he had with Kyung Hee's came back to him.

*Sigh*...Ji Yong looked at Kyung Hee. "What's the sigh for?" She looked down at the floor, "Oh, nothing." "Come on Kyung Hee. If you called me oppa, that means you can tell me anything." "Well, I'm afraid I'm going to get beaten up today." "Huh?! What do you mean?" Kyung Hee lifted up the sleeve of her uniform. "Take a look at this." Ji Yong glanced at her arms. Both of them had dark purple bruises. "And this too," she added and pointed to her head. There was also a dark purple bruise there. Ji Yong looked at her in shock. "Who did this to you?" "A psycho by the name of Sung Hoon." "Why? Doesn't he know guys aren't suppose to hit girls?" Kyung Hee glanced up at Ji Yong. "Human guys don't hit girls. Kang Sung Hoon is an animal." She sighed again. "But it's okay...I'm used to it by now." Ji Yong squeezed her shoulder. "Well, stop getting used to it. This torture is going to end today." "What do you mean?" "I mean, I'm going to teach this Sung Hoon a lesson." Kyung Hee grabbed Ji Yong and hugged him. "Really?" He nodded. "Yay!" she screamed. "You can do it in Tae Kwon Do today. That animal is the champion here, but not anymore, now taht you're here Ji Yong oppa." Ji Yong gave her a smile and nodded. "Let's get to class before we're late."

Ji Yong looked at Sung Hoon who had just approached him. "I'm Ko Ji Yong. And I know who you are." Sung Hoon looked at Kyung Hee. 'Must have told him about me,' he thought. Sung Hoon shrugged his shoulders. "Fame spreads." Ji Yong looked at him. 'Kyung Hee was right. He is a conceited bastard!" Sung Hoon let out a fake cough. "Excuse me, Mr. Ko. I believe you're in my seat." Ji Yong gave him a look. "I don't think so." Sung Hoon gave Ji Yong a glare that could freeze an entire ocean. Just then Jae Jin and Jae Duc came in. Sung Hoon waved for them to come over. "Hey guys come over here and meet my new friend." Jae Jin and Jae Duc walked over. "Hey guys," said Sung Hoon. "This is Ko Ji Yong. Apparently, he doesn't know where he's sitting." Jae Duc gave a little smirk. "Awww...he's new Sung Hoon. He don't know that he's sitting in your place." Jae Jin nodded and told Ji Yong, "You better move boy. You're sitting with my friend's wife." Kyung Hee opened her mouth in shock. "He's lying!" Ji Yong looked at all of them. He could tell that Sung Hoon and the other two were lying. He turned around to face Sung Hoon. "No, I don't want to move. I like sitting here." Sung Hoon was ticked, but didn't say anything. He had to stop Jae Jin and Jae Duc from fronting Ji Yong. Sung Hoon just gave a fake smile and said, "I'll see how long you will like sitting there." Then he and his boys left. Kyung Hee let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks Ji Yong oppa. Everyday that Sung Hoon and his buddies will sit next to me, so they could torture me, but now that you're here, they can't do it anymore!" "It's nothing," said Ji Yong. "I'll try my best to stop them from torturing you."

*RING*
The bell rang and signaled that this class ended. "Come on Ji Yong oppa! Time for Tae Kwon Do!" Kyung Hee and Ji Yong walked to the gym together. When they looked up, they saw the janitor fixing the ceiling. Kyung Hee walked up to him. "What are you doing Mr. Seo?" "Just fixing the ceiling fans Kyung Hee. These things are sharp and could cut somebody up! You two kids better be getting to class now. I have a lot of work to do today." Kyung Hee and Ji Yong waved bye to Mr. Seo, then they both went their own seperate ways to the locker rooms to change for class. Sung Hoon sat down on the mat and waited for Kyung Hee and Ji Yong to both come out. Jae Jin sat down next to him. Jae Duc wasn't in the same class. "So you gonna kick the crap outta the new guy Sung Hoon?" "Yeah, that'll teach him to mess with me!" Jae Jin scratched his head. "Dude, I don't get it. The only thing he did was sit next to Kyung Hee. So why you tripping for? You like her or something?" Sung Hoon glared at him, "Hell no! I don't like her. I just don't want anyone messing with my stiff, alright?" "Okay, okay. Chill. Well, here they come." Ji Yong found a place to sit on the mat, and Kyung Hee sat down next to him. A guy from their class shouted out, "Hey Kyung Hee! You dump Sung Hoon for the new guy?" She yelled back, "Shut up, dork!" Everyone in class, including Ji Yong and Sung Hoon started at her. Kyung Hee just looked away and pretended not to notice. Then she leaned over and whispered in Ji Yong's ear, "Kick Sung Hoon's butt, hard." Sung Hoon looked at Kyung Hee leaning near Ji Yong. 'Damn you Kyung Hee, is it so terrible to be known as my girlfriend?' he thought angrily. 'You're going down pretty boy.' He glared at Ji Yong, who was glaring back at him.

*RING*
The bell rang and class began. Sensei Shim called roll and made everyone sit down. "All right, now you spinless wimps. Let's see what you've learned these past few weeks. Class will begin with a match. WHo are my volunteers?" Sung Hoon raised his hand. "Ahh...Sung Hoon, my number one student. Who else?" No one raised their hand. "Hmmm...how about you Kyung Hee?" Kyung Hee shook her head so hard that her hair fell out of her ponytail. Sung Hoon rolled his eyes and said, "Not today Sensei. How about Ji Yong?" "Ji Yong?" Sensei Shim looked at Ji Yong. "Are you the new boy Ko Ji Yong?" "Yes Sensei," answered Ji Yong. Sensei Shim rubbed his chin. "Hmmm...I don't know Sung Hoon. It night not be fair for Ji Yong to fight against an advanced student like you." Ji Yong stood up, "It's okay, I learned Tae Kwon Do back at my old school too." "Really?" asked Sensei Shim. "Then this should be a good match. Alright everybody. In your places." Ji Yong and Sung Hoon got in their fighting stances. 'I'm going to wipe that smile off your face,' thought Ji Yong. 'You're going down punk,' Sung Hoon thought back.

"Fight!" Sensei Shim yelled. Sung Hoon moved forward. 'I'm going to punch him so hard--' but before he knew it, he had fallen down on his back. He was surprised. "How? What?!" Ji Yong had swept kicked him and made him fall. "Winner, Ko Ji Yong!" "Yay!" shouted Kyung Hee. She ran up and hugged Ji Yong. "You were great! You took him down in less than five seconds!" "Wait a second!" yelled Sung Hoon. "There are three rounds in a match. It ain't over yet!" "Oh yeah." said the Sensei. "Hold on everyone, we have two rounds left." Sung Hoon looked over at where Kyung Hee was sitting. See was massaging Ji Yong's shoulders. He opened his mouth in shock. 'She's on the enemy's side!' He was spacing out until his thoughts got interrupted by Jae Jin. "Hey Sung Hoon." "What is it Jae Jin?" "The new guy is pretty good, but by the way he fights, I know you can beat him. Just don't underestimate him and don't let your guard down. You can win." Sung Hoon slapped Jae Jin on the back. "Thanks man, I was spacing out there." Jae Jin nodded and understood. 'You'll see that I am the better guy Kyung Hee,' Sung Hoon mentally tried to tell her. "Yoi were great, Ji Yong oppa!" Kyung Hee said excitedly. "Thanks. Ummm...Kyung Hee?" "Yeah?" "You sure Sung Hoon is the best fighter here? He didn't seem to last very long." Kyung Hee nodded her head. "He is the best fighter here. I think he didn't last long because you're so much better than him." "Maybe," said Ji Yong with doubt.

"Okay, Round Two!" yelled Sensei Shim as he pulled his arm down. "Fight!" Sung Hoon and Ji Yong got into their positions. Ji Yong let out a punch, but Sung Hoon caught his arm and flipped him over. During that time, Sung Hoon whispered in Hi Yong's ear, "You stay away from my Kyung Hee." Ji Yong fell down surprised at what he had just heard. "Winner Kang Sung Hoon!" yelled Sensei Shim as he held up Sung Hoon's arm. Kyung Hee opened her mouth in shock. 'That bastard Sung Hoon won.' She began to bite on a bracelet. Sung Hoon saw her looking at him. He crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue at her. 'That jerk is so immature!' "Wait Sensei!" she yelled. "Three rounds remember? One more to go!" Sung Hoon walked up to Kyung Hee. "Don't worry about it. Get ready to kiss my feet when I win Kyung Hee honey." "Get bent and die Kang Sung Hoon." Sung Hoon flashed her one of his trademark smiles and went back to take his place. He heard her yell out, "You can do it Ji Yong oppa!" 'Ji Yong oppa?' thought Sung Hoon. 'She never called me oppa!' Sung Hoon knew that he couldn't lose concentration or he'll lose for shure. 'Win the match first and deal with it later.' 'Wow,' thought Ji Yong. 'Sung Hoon is good. Hmmm...I wonder if he'll be my friend if he does end up beating me. He don't hate Kyung Hee. I think he might even be in love with her! Heh heh...well well..Mr. Tough Guy has a weakness, besides, I haven't met a good match like this in a long time."

"Round Three. Fight!" This time Sung hoon let out a punch and Ji Yong caught his arm. He flipped Sung Hoon over, but he didn't fall down. Sung Hoon twisted his body back so he fell upright. He sent out a roundhouse kick and knocked Ji Yong down. 'Victory is mine.' Sung Hoon smiled. "Winner is Kang Sung Hoon!" yelled Sensei Shim. "You were excellent too Ji Yong," he said as he helped Ji Yong up. Ji Yong looked at Sung Hoon and smiled. "You were great. You should show me your moves sometime." Sung Hoon looked at Ji Yong surprised. He didn't expect Ji Yong to say that. Ji Yong extended his hand. "Truce? Except don't pick on my dongsang Kyung Hee anymore okay?" 'Dongsang?' thought Sung Hoon. 'That means there's nothing going on between them. I guess this Ji Yong guy isn't so bad after all.' He shook Ji Yong's hand, "Truce." Kyung Hee couldn't believe her eyes. Both of them are shaking hands and acting like eachother's buddy! She ran up to Ji Yong's side. "Why are you being friends with this jock strap?" Ji Yong placed a hand on her shoulder. "Come on Kyung Hee. Let's all be friends." Then Jae Jin had to add his two cents. "Yeah, isn't that why you came here Kyung Hee? To give Sung Hoon his victory kiss?" She looked over at Sung Hoon who was gicing her this stupid smile and he was shaking his eyebrows up and down. She brushed off Ji Yong's hand. "No! And I hate you too Ji Yong!" Then she stomped off.

As Kyung Hee walked by the gym door, her hair got caught in the door hinges. 'Oh great,' she thought. 'It's not like I'm embarassed enough already and now this. I bet they're all laughing now.' She began to tug at her hair to pull it loose. However, unsuspecting by anyone, just above her head was a loose fan's sharp blade, and it was about to fall.

It just happened so fast. Something instinctly made Sung Hoon look up. There it was. Just a few more cracks and the heavy twirling fan would fall...right onto an unsuspecting Kyung Hee. Sung Hoon felt as though time had stopped and everything had frozen in place, but time did not stop, and he was moving. Images flashed before his eye's. Kyung Hee would be crushed and killed. Then there will be no more Kyung Hee. How lonely and empty his life would be.

When Kyung Hee turned around to see if anyone was laughing, she saw Sung Hoon's cocky smiling face change into a face of worry and horror. She began to wonder what he was doing. There he was running as fast as he could towards her. It was so fast. She heard a loud crash and felt her body slam against the wall. She blacked out for a second before she realized what was happening.

Too close. That was way way too close. Sung Hoon felt his heart beat so loud, that it was pounding in his ears. When he grabbed Kyung Hee, he didn't stop running until he made it outside the gym and the wall stopped him. It took him a second to realize that his lips were pressed against something soft. He opened his eys. 'Oh my God?!' His eyes got even wider. 'I'm kissing Kyung Hee! She's gonna kill me!' He began to think really fast. 'I'll just close my eyes and pretend like I know nothing.'

It took a while, but Kyung Hee finally came back to her senses. She felt something pressed against her entire body. 'Oh my God! Sung Hoon is kissing me!' She pushed him off of her. "You pervert!" she yelled as she balled her fists up until her knuckles turned white. Then there was that worried look on Sung Hoon's face again. Kyung Hee knew something wsa wrong. Her hand slowly felt the back of her head. Her long hair was gone. The front was still long, but the back was severed all the way up to her shoulders. She was in shock. "How could you do this to me?" she cried out. Sung Hoon shrugged his shoulders. "Ummm...Victory Kiss?"

'I can't believe I just said that!' Too late. Sung Hoon saw Kyung Hee turn even angrier. Then he felt a painful slap across his cheek. He turned his head back just in time to see her run away. Then slowly, he went over to the gym doors to pick up what was left of Kyung Hee's hair. Slowly his tears fell upon the shiny black hair he was holding. Sung Hoon was hurting, and it wasn't from the slap. It was a different kind of pain...

Kyung Hee didn't stop running until she made it home. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. 'That jerk kissed her!' she repeated to herself over and over. 'That was my first kiss too! It was supposed to be for the guy of my dreams, not a walking nightmare like Sung Hoon!' "Why does Kang Sung Hoon hate me so much?" she asked herself out loud. "What did I ever do to him?" Kyung Hee touched the back of her head. Her hair really is gone.

The High School Years...
~Five More Years Later~
(During this time, changes both happened for Kyung Hee and Sung Hoon. Besides the fact that they're 18 and in high school, Kyung Hee became more distant towards everyone. Everyone assumed it was because of her hair. She was no longer the socialble, bubbly girl. Instead she now became a silent, aggressive jock. She traded in her baby tees, hair bows, skirts, and platflorms for sweatshirts, basebal caps, tennis shoes, and baggy jeans. She would hang out with the nerds and jocks and just about anybody except for the popular girls, who were all stuck up. No one dared to mess with Kyung Hee though. She developed a reputation for herself as a fighter when she managed to beat up the biggest girl bully in school. Kyung Hee is a really small and skinny person, but no one could really tell underneath all of her clothes, which made her look bulky. Jae Jin and Jae Duc stopped teasing Kyung Hee as time passed too. They've gotten more mature and dated around too. Kyung Hee still talks to Ji Yong, but she had stopped calling him oppa.

Ever since that incident, Sung Hoon knew that Kyung Hee had changed. He had toned down on picking on her, but he didn't stop. He knew it ws the only way and excuse he had if he wanted to talk to her. When he entered high school, he brought along his popularity and good looks with him. Sung Hoon became every girl's dream guy. Well-built body, styling hair, seductive eyes, and a killer smile. He dated every girl that every guy in his school wanted to date, but sadly, no matter how many girls he dated, they all meant nothing to him. He was never able to tell Kyung Hee how he really felt about her, so he planned on keeping it silent forever.)

"Head's up!" Kyung Hee looked up and caught the ball that was aimed towards her. Sung Hoon started jumping around and yelling, "For the honor of football, Kyung Hee is She Man!" "Go back into the cave where you crawled out from Porcupine," she snapped back, referring to his hair. She threw the ball back at him. 'Porcupine? It took me an hour to get my hair like this!' Sung Hoon thought. 'Damn, why does her words have to get on my nerves so much? No one else can ever do that!' "Awww...you grouchy because everytime you look at me, you know you can only look but can't touch?" "Pul-lease...if I touch you, I might get a disease." "Poor Kyung Hee. Gonna die a single, lonely, old nun." Kyung Hee gave him a secretive smile. "Just because I don't date around like you, doesn't mean anything. And besides, how do you know I'm single?" Sung Hoon looked at her. 'Is she dating someone I don't know?' He was about to ask, but then Shin Chun Ok, Sung Hoon's latest girlfriend, walked up and interrupted their disses.

"Sung Hoonee!" She ran up to squeeze him. Sung Hoon rolled his eyes. 'Damn, Chun Ok. Why did she have to be here? She's so annoying!' But he gave her a smile anyways. "So what are you doing here?" "I want you to take a look at my dress!" "It's nice." Sung Hoon really didn't care anyways. He planned to break up with her soon. Kyung Hee was watching them the whole time. She rolled her eyes. Chun Ok caught Kyung Hee watching them. She began to talk to Kyung Hee in her fake sugary voice. "I know what you're thinking, but sorry, this dress doesn't come in a large." Kyung Hee gave her a fake smile. "No, but your mouth sure does." Then she walked away. Chun Ok rolled her eyes behind Kyung Hee's back. "Whatever." Sung Hoon glared at her. He didn't like it when other people made fun of Kyung Hee just because she dressed like a guy. "You didn't have to say that, you know." Chun Ok stomped her feet. "Why do you always take her side?" she whined. Sung Hoon just walked away. "Sung Hoonee!"

Sung Hoon waited for Kyung Hee after school, but he didn't see her, so he decided to drop by her house. She wasn't home, but her grandpa was. "Sung Hoon! Long time no see! Come in." "Hi Grandpa So. Is Kyung Hee home?" "No. She told me she's going out with her boyfriend." "Boyfriend? Who is he?" Grandpa So gave him a little smile. "Sung Hoon. You're old now. Don't be teasing an old man. You and Kyung Hee still pretending to hate eachother, while you both know that you both have a burning attraction." "Attraction?! Hell NO!" Grandpa So just smiled. "Okay, I'll just play along. She'll be home later. The sooner you meet up with her, the sooner you'll see her." Sung Hoon smiled and shook his head. Grandpa So always wanted him and Kyung Hee to be together. "Okay. Good bye, Grandpa So." "Bye Sung Hoon"

~Eight Hours Later~
Sung Hoon banged on the So's front door. Grandpa So answered it. "Is Kyung Hee home?" Grandpa SO yawned. "No. Where is she?" "I don't know! I wasn't with her." "It's okay Sung Hoon. She's a big girl now. She can take care of herself." "It's late. It's past midnight right now. Aren't you worried? What kind of grandfather are you?" "Kyung Hee's been out this late for the past two months. Why are you so worried?" Sung Hoon blushed. "I'm not worried." Grandpa So yawned some more. "You can wait here if you want." "No, I'll go out and look for her," said Sung Hoon. Then he left. Sung Hoon began to walk down the street. He sat on the curb and waited. Ten minutes later he saw Kyung Hee walking up the path with a dreamy look on her face. He was so happy to see her, but he was also very mad. He ran up to her. "What is wrong with you? What is a girl like you, doing out so late on a school night?" Kyung Hee looked at him surprised. "None of your business." Then she began walking home. He followed her. Sung Hoon knew he couldn't ask, but the thought of her with another guy was tearing at him inside. "well, your grandpa was worried." "I can take care of myself." They made it home together in silence. Kyung Hee came home and closed the door. Sung Hoon watched her go in and saw the door as a sign. 'She has shut me out of her life...forever.'

(A couple of weeks passed by. With Sung Hoon's popularity, he used everyone he could to find out who Kyung Hee was dating, but it was no use. No one was able to find out. He broke up with Chun Ok, and she knew it was because of Kyung Hee. She was mad, but wasn't able to do anything to Kyung Hee because she wsa threatened by Sung Hoon. Also she was afraid of Kyung Hee too. Not knowing who Kyung Hee was dating was bothering Sung Hoon so much, he couldn't sleep. There was only one thing left for him to do. Spy on her.)

It was 11 p.m. Kyung Hee had left her house and took a taxi. Sung Hoon began to follow her silently in his car. It took twenty minutes, but then Sung Hoon saw Kyung Hee get off at a park. He parked his car away from her view and got out of the car. he snuck up to a bush nearby and watched her. Then he saw her run up to a strange guy he has never seen before. 'I wonder who he is?' Then Sung Hoon began to analyze Kyung Hee. 'Figured she wouldn't dress up. Not even for a date. Miss Tomboy.'

"Ji Won honey!" Kyung Hee ran up to hug her boyfriend. "I miss you. I also have something to tell you." "I miss you too." Ji Won held her. He tried to stroke her hair, but like always, it was tucked inside that stupid baseball cap. Kyung Hee looked at him. He didn't seem too happy to see her. "Is something wrong?" she asked. Ji Won nodded, and told her to sit down. He held both of her hands. "Is there something you want to tell say Kyung Hee?" "You go first Ji Won." "It's us. I don't think it's working out." "Why?!" "Well...we're not compatible." "What do you mean? We like the same things." Ji Won gave an exasperated sigh. "We like the same things that guy buddies should like. Not like couples. I thought I'd get over it, but you're really not attractive." "What?!" she asked in disbelief. "I mean, look at you Kyung Hee. I mean, sure, you're pretty, I think, but I can't tell from your hat covering half of your face. I don't even know how long your hair is! And you dress like a guy!" and he continued to list her bad qualities.

Sung Hoon looked at Kyung Hee from where he was sitting. He could tell she was trying her best not to cry. Her feelings weren't hurt, but her pride was. 'Ji Won...hmmm...he looks and sounds familiar.' he thought. Sung Hoon chewed on his lipfor a while, and then it hit him. 'He's that stupid kid that locked me in the refrigerator!' Sung Hoon felt anger rising inside of him as he looked at Ji Won. As he was listening, he began to realize Ji Won was putting Kyung Hee down as he was breaking up with her. 'Don't you dare hurt her like that!' Sung Hoon came out from where he hid.

"You understand don't you, Kyung Hee?" Ji Won looked at her. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She was about to answer, but then her eyes widened when she saw Sung Hoon walking up to them. 'Oh no! He's going to make fun of me because I just got dumped.' "Honey!" Sung Hoon ran up to Kyung Hee and hugged her hard. Then he spun her around. "Gosh I miss you!" "Huh?! Who are you calling hon--" Sung Hoon put his arms around Kyung Hee's shoulders and closed her mouth just in time. He looked over at Ji Won, who was looking at them both in shock. "Who the hell are you?" asked Sung Hoon. "I'm Eun Ji Won. And who are you? Why are you calling my girlfriend, honey?" "I'm Kang Sung Hoon, and you've got it all wrong, pal. Kyung Hee is my girlfriend." Kyung Hee looked at Sung Hoon. 'What is he doing?' Then she realized that his arm was still on her shoulder and he was holding her pretty close. "Let go! Your armpit smells!" Sung Hoon twisted her away and whispered, "You want me to help you from being embarrassed or not?" She nodded her head. "Then stop dissing me!" Then Sung Hoon turned them both around to face Ji Won. He gave Ji Won his famous smile. "So you're the guy Kyung Hee tells me is a very lousy kisser." Just to prove his point, Sung Hoon bent over to kiss Kyung Hee. The kiss came out awkward, and he ended up kissing her nose instead. Ji Won gave them both cold glares. "I don't know wht the hell you're talking about, but I just dumped Kyung Hee, so you can have her." Sung Hoon let out a loud fake laugh. He faced Kyung Hee. "Honey, you're so sweet. You didn't want this loser to feel bad, so you let him think that he's dumping you." 'Thank you,' she thought silently. She smiled and nodded. "I had to dear." Ji Won looked at them in digust. "Hope You two are very happy together!" then he left.

Kyung Hee sat down on a bench. 'God...I hope she's not going to cry,' prayed Sung Hoon as he sat down next to her. "Go ahead and laugh." "Huh?" "I know you want to. Now is the perfect time to make fun of me." Sung Hoon wanted to put his arms around her and let her cry on his shoulders so bad. "Nawh...not in the mood tonight. I'll save it for some other time." Then suddenly Kyung Hee began to cry. "You're not crying over that jerk, are you?" "Why do you care?" she yelled at him. "I...I don't care, except I think you're wasting your tears." Sung Hoon felt his heart breaking as he saw Kyung Hee cry. 'He's not worth it,' he thought, but he kept those words to himself. 'She'll never cry oer me.' "No, I'm not crying over him." "Yeah, right." "No, really. I'm not." "Then why are you crying?" Sung Hoon felt a bubble of hope rise inside of him. Kyung Hee let out a sigh. "My parents are going to come visit me tomorrow, and they want to meet my boyfriend." Sung Hoon looked at her. "So...what are you going to do now that Mr. Wonderful is gone?" "I don't know. Gosh, I'm such a loser." Sung Hoon let out a fake sigh. "Well...I can pretend that I'm your boyfriend." Kyung Hee looked at him surprised. "You'll help me?" 'Maybe Sung Hoon isn't so bad after all. I guess he can be really sweet sometimes.' Just looking into Kyung hee's big warm brown eyes, made him want to tell her all of his feelings for her, but he couldn't. "Yeah, it's Be Kind To Geeks Week." Kyung Hee stood up. "I don't need your help, you conceited snob! I'll just ask Ji Yong!" Then she ran off. "Damn!" Sung Hoon cursed himself. "Why did I have to say that?" he asked himself, but he did't know why he did it.

*DING DONG*
"Mommy! Daddy!" "Kyung Hee!" Kyung Hee hugged her parents as they came inside the house. "We miss you so much." "I miss you too." Then Grandpa So came out and they all had tea while they talked. After a while, the subject of her boyfriend came up. Her mother asked her, "So Kyung Hee dear, where is that boyfriend you have always been talking about?" "Uhhh..." Kyung Hee glanced at the clock. It was 7:30. 'Damn, Ji Yong is half an hour late! Why aren't you here yet?' Her question seemed to have gotten answered because just then the doorbell rang. She jumped up and ran to the door. "I'll get it! It must be him."

She opened the door. I'm so glad you're here--" but she was cut off by her own scream. It was not Ji Yong, but that thing Kang Sung Hoon. He was holding flowers and he leaned over to hug her. "I miss you too honey!" he said really loud for everyone to hear. Kyung Hee blocked the door, but he made it inside her house anyways. "Hi Mr. and Mrs. So. Hello Grandpa So. I've heard so much about you from Kyung Hee. My name is Kang Sung Hoon." He shook hands with all of Kyung Hee's elders. The parents nodded their heads in approval. The grandpa just smiled. He knew what was going on. He didn't say anything because his wish for Kyung Hee to be with Sung Hoon is going to come true. "So, you must be the boyfriend Kyung Hee is always talking about." "I think so. Kyung Hee is the best thing that ever happened to me. I can see she recieved all of her good qualities from her family." Kyung Hee rolled her eyes while she listened to Sung Hoon's political speech. 'He must be the world's best liar!' but her parents were pleased. They like Sung Hoon, but then her mother asked, "Do you know the young boy who lives next door?" 'Oh no,' thought Kyung Hee. Sung Hoon raised an eyebrow. "Ummm...kind of. Why Mrs. So?" "Kyung Hee mentions that boy too. She said he was an annoying pest, but we havent gotten the chance to meet him yet. So I just want to see if you know him too." 'Annoying pest?' he thought. 'I'll let that one slide.' I do know him Mrs. So, but he's not an annoying pest. It's just that a long time ago, Kyung Hee wanted to date him, but she could NOT, so she has grudge against him." Kyung Hee opened her mouth, but quickly shut it. She needed Sung Hoon's help, so she couldn't say anything. Her mother asked, "Is that true dear?" Kyung Hee gritted her teeth. "Yes it is mommy." Sung Hoon smiled. They sat down and talked. Hours passed and it was getting late, and he had to go home. "Well, it was a pleasure meeting you Mr. and Mrs. So. Good night." "Good night, Sung Hoon." "I'll walk him home," said Kyung Hee.

Just as they stepped out the door, Kyung Hee slammed Sung Hoon against the wall. "What the hell are you doing here? Where is Ji Yong?" Sung Hoon smiled and said, "Is this how you treat your boyfriend?" "Answer me!" "Ji Yong couldn't make it, so I decided to help him out." "Oh no. My parents are staying for two weeks! Ji Yong can't pretend to be my boyfriend now."

Sung Hoon gave out a sigh. "well, I guess I'll torture myself for a few weeks and pretend to be your boyfriend." Kyung Hee looked at him suspiciously. "How do I know you didn't do anything to Ji Yong to take his place?" Sung Hoon was stunned. He hadn't thought about Kyung Hee thinking that. Truth was, he had to beg Ji YOng to let him take his place, but Sung Hoon played it off smoothly. "Yeah, right. Look at you Kyung Hee. Only an idiot would date you. What makes you think I wuld do this if it wasn't for a buddy?"

Kyung Hee looked at him with doubt, but then Sung Hoon continued talking. "Besides, this means you have to be nice to me or your parents will find out the truth." It seemed like blackmail to her. "Oh, I'll be nice to you alright," she said as she raised her fist, but just then her dad opened the door and she droped her fist immediately. "That's so cute. You don't want to say goodbye to Sung Hoon? Stay out with him then. It's just ten, but be home by midnight. There's school tomorrow." "Thanks Mr. So." said Sung Hoon, and he pulled Kyung Hee away before she could answer. "I'll have her back by midnight." He took her hand and led her to the park.

"Okay. Here are the ground rules if you want me to be your boyfriend." "Rules? Puh-lease! I don't want to date you!" "Oh yeah? Tell that to your parents then." That made Kyung Hee shut up. She listened as Sung Hoon went on. "First of all, I have good taste. My girlfriends will be wearing dresses and smell good. And you look like a guy! And you smell--" Sung Hoon took a whiff of her. "Eww! You smell like a guy too!" Kyung Hee took a smell of herself, "Do not!" "Do too! Second rule. When we kiss, you have to promise to let go because I know you can't help yourself and you'll end up gluing yourself to me." Kyung Hee gave him a disgusted look. "Gross! That's my rule! No Kissing!" Sung Hoon cocked an eyebrow. "Won't it look weird if you never kiss your boyfriend?" Kyung Hee shuddered from the thought of kissing Sung Hoon. "The things I do just to please my parents." "hey, I'm the one who's sacrificing. Now I have to go two weeks without dating any girl. I'm suppose to be with a beauty, not a beast!"

Kyung Hee sighed. "Alright. Then go ahead. Kiss me." "What?!" "You heard me. Remember when you tried to kiss me in front of Ji Won? You were aiming for my mouth, weren't you? But you missed and hit my nose. I guess we have to practice." Sung Hoon swallowed. He always imagined what it would be like to kiss Kyung Hee, but he didn't really think he was going to have th chance. "Well at least take off your cap, so I know I'm kissing a girl." Kyung Hee took her cap off. Long strands of hair fell down past her shoulders and down her back. Sung Hoon ran his hand through her hair. "Hey, your hair grew back!" "Yeah" "Why do you always keep it in a cap then?" "Oh, I don't know. Maybe because I have a fear that a psycho would chop it off!" Sung Hoon pulled his hand away. "Look, it was an accident. Besides, it was five years ago. Can't you forget and move on already?" "How would you feel if I cut your hair?" "It's different because my hair is nice, while yours is nappy," he said. "Oh yeah? You could have fooled me. I thought your hair was a dead animal with all those spikes." "So are we going to kiss or not?" he asked. Kyung Hee sighed. "If only you would stop making fun of me."

"Okay, I guess I have to stop for now since I'm your boyfriend." Then she slowly closed her eyes. Sung Hoon looked at her. Her innocent face reminded him of all the good times they had together. Well actually, good for him, a nightmare for her, but there she was. Standing very close to him. Eyes closed, her long hair swaying. Then he bent forward to kiss her, and there it was. Magic and Fireworks. It was a feeling he couldn't describe. He never felt this way when he kissed a girl before, and he knew it too because he had kissed a lot of girls before. Kyung Hee wrapped her arms around Sung Hoon's neck. 'Hmmm...I never felt like this when I kissed Ji Won. I could kiss Sung Hoon forever. Wait a minute, what the hell am I thinking?' Kyung Hee broke the kiss off. "Okay, that's enough practice." She put her cap back on because she knew her face was turning red. Sung Hoon was kind of disappointed that it had to end so soon. "Uh, yeah. Come on Kyung Hee. I'll walk you home."

~School: The Next Day~
Sung Hoon stopped by Kyung Hee's locker. He forgot to discuss with her if they were oging to pretend to be a couple in school or not. 'I hope so. Maybe I'll get to kiss her again,' he thought with a smile. Then he saw Ji Won walking up to him. "What are you doing here?" Ji Won gave him a smirk. "I transferred here. I just wanted to kno for sure if you and Kyung Hee have been dating." Sung Hoon began to sweat. 'Uh oh.' "Of course we have and it's been for a long time too." Ji Won gave him a look that showed Sung Hoon that he didn't believe a word he said. "Oh really? Then let me ask someone." Ji Won grabbed a student as he was walking by. "Hey you. Who is So Kyung Hee's boyfriend?" Sung Hoon looked at the student. "Oh that's easy! It's Kang Sung Hoon." "It is?" "Yeah," said the student, "They've been together forever. They're like a married couple!" Ji Won let the student go. "See?" said Sung Hoon with a cocky smile. "So what?" Ji Won snapped back. "She acts and looks like a guy anyways."

"Sung Hoon honey!" Sung Hoon and Ji Won turned around to see who was calling Sung Hoon. Both of them did a double take. It was Kyung Hee, and she looked damn fine! Her hair was put up, but some strands fell down layering her face. She was wearing a ligh blue slip dress that emphasized her great figure and matching platforms. The school's tomboy had just turned into the school's prom queen. She looked like an angel. Sung Hoon couldn't take his eyes off of her. Neither could Ji Won. "Sung Hoon!" She went up and kissed him on the cheek. "Are you waiting for me?" Sung Hoon finally snapped out of it. "uh...yeah." Then he leaned over and gave her a real kiss. 'I can kiss her anytime I want to, now that she is my girlfriend,' he thought. Kyung Hee turned around. "Oh, hi Ji Won. What are you doing here?" Ji Won looked at her awkwardly. "Ummm...hi Kyung Hee. I just transferred here. You sure look pretty today." Kyung Hee gave him a smile. "thanks. Well nice seeing you. Sung Hoon and I have to go to class now. Bye." Sung Hoon wrapped his arms around her waist and led her to class, leaving Ji Won looking after them. As they entered the door, Jae Jin and Jae Duc ran up to Sung Hoon, but then they saw Kyung Hee. Jae Jin gave her a little smile. "Hi. I'm Lee Jae Jin. I'm single and ready to mingle, and you are?" Kyung Hee rolled her eyes. Then it was Jae Duc's turn. "Can I check your dress to see if you were made in Heaven?" "It's me, Kyung Hee, and those were the lamest lines I've ever heard." Jae Jin and Jae Duc opened their mouths in shock. "No way!" yelled Jae Jin. "But you're a girl!" "I've always been a girl!" "You know Kyung hee? I've always had a crush on you," Jae Duc said to her sweetly. "Back off guys," said Sung Hoon. "She's my girl." Jae Duc pouted his lips. "Damn, it figures." Then Ji Won came in. 'Damn,' he thought. 'She never looked this good before.' He wanted her back, and he always gets his way.

The Camping Trip ...
(The next two weeks went by fast. Sung Hoon acted like the perfect boyfriend. He treated her nice and was always there by her side with flowers. Her parents like him a lot. Before Sung Hoon knew it, his dating charade with Kyung Hee was over, and so was school. Her parents decided to stay until their graduation, and then afterwards, they would take a plane back to the U.S. The entire graduated class decided to go on a camping trip because it would be the last time they would be seeing eachother since everyone is going their seperate direction to college.)

Everyone was sitting around the camp fire and talking. Chun Ok had seated herself between Sung Hoon and Kyung Hee. Ji Won was watching Kyung Hee the whole time. Jae DUc was telling a scary story about a psycho killer in the woods. "He goes around chopping off peoples' heads and he especially likes girls." Jae Jin threw a stick at him. "That's a stupid story Duc-ee." Ji Yong threw more wood into the fire. "But I heard it's true though." A student widened his eyes. "For real?" Sung Hoon laughed. "Oh, come on. It's a bunch of bull. Even if it is for real, he'll just be after the girls." He gave Kyung Hee a supposedly scary face, but it turned out so goofy, she ended up laughing. Chun Ok grabbed onto Sung Hoon though. "Sung Hoonee! I'm scared. Hold me."

Sung Hoon was taken by surprise. He tried to pry Chun Ok off of him, but she held on tight. Kyung Hee glared at them both. 'That Casanova. Just because everytime he smiles his eyes would light up and his hair is so soft, he thinks he's--' Kyung Hee stopped herself. 'What am I thinking? It sounds like I want him or something.' She stood up. "Excuse me, but I think I'll go for a walk." Then she left. Ji Won stood up too. "I think I'll take a walk too." That alarmed Sung hoon. 'He is not going to take a walk with my Kyung Hee.' He ended up having to force Chun Ok off of him, and ran where he saw Kyung Hee disappear. Chun Ok was mad. "Kang Sung Hoon, you come back here!" Everyone at the campfire started giggling.

~Somewhere In The Woods~
Kyung Hee looked all around her. 'It figures. Sung Hoon wouldn't come after me.' she thought sadly. 'I mean why would he?' Then she heard a voice. "Kyung Hee!" She smiled and turned around. It was only Ji Won. Her face fell. "Oh, Ji Won." He sat down on a rock bext to her. "Aren't you going to come back to take Sung Hoon away from that Chun Ok girl?" She shook her head. "No...I guess they're meant to be together." Ji Won looked at her. "Kind of like you and me?" Kyung Hee scoted herself away as her eyes widened. "Uh, Ji Won. It's over between us." Ji Won grabbed her hands. "But you can give me a second chance!" She pulled her hands away. Then Ji Won asked her, "Remember what you told me what you wished for a long time ago?" "What?" "You said that you wanted to find your first true love, and be with him forever." Kyung Hee stood still. She did say that. Ji Won was her first love, but then she thought of Sung Hoon. Or is it Sung Hoon? "I don't know!" she yelled as she took off running. Ji Won smiled. 'She's coming back to me.'

As Ji Won walked back to camp, he heard a voice calling for Kyung Hee. he recognized Sung Hoon's voice. In the middle of the road, Ji Won looked down. He saw a huge hole that was about ten feet deep. Ji Won gave an evil smile. He had a plan. He began to rustle the leaves near the hole.

Sung Hoon heard a noise. 'Is it Kyung Hee?' "Kyung Hee, is that you?" No answer. "Come out, please? Wherever you are!" The leaves continued to rustle. 'What if she's hurt and couldn't answer?' Sung Hoon started to walk towards the noise and ended up falling into the trap. It was so cold and dark down in there. Sung Hoon began to panic. "Help!"

Ji Won came out from where he was hiding. "Hey Sung Hoon. Looking for something?" Sung Hoon looked up and saw Ji Won's face. "Damn you Eun Ji Won! Get me out!" Ji Wong just smiled. "This all seems so familiar. You know, it took me a while, but then I remembered. Didn't I do this to you beore 10 years ago?" Sung Hoon started to tremble. Because of what Ji Won did to him, he had a fear of the dark and being trapped alone, but he wasn't going to show it. Sung Hoon glared at Ji Won. "So what? I don't give a damn. Just get me out!" Ji Won laughed. " I guess history repeats itself when you mess with me or anything of mine. This time I mean Kyung Hee. She is my girlfriend and I want you out of the way. And I guess this solves my problem." "Kyung Hee doesn't like you! She's with me." "oh really? Didn't seem like it when your ex held you like that. I guess you can't let your first love go, and I think you know I'm Kyung Hee's first. She'll come back to me." Sung Hoon sat down on the cold ground. Kyung Hee did say taht before. 'Is she going to go back to him?' As he was thinking, Ji Won had left already. Sung Hoon looked up. "Hey!" His worst nightmare had come back, and this time Kyung Hee was not there to save him. He was stuck here all alone in the dark. "Kyung Hee...where are you?"

After a while, Kyung Hee headed back to camp. She took out her flashlight to shine her way back on the main path.

~Down In Pit~
Sung Hoon looked up and saw a beam of light. He stood up, "Help!" Kyung Hee looked around. 'Was someone calling for help?' "Hello? Is someone out there?" "HELP!" Kyung Hee ran to where the voice came from. She saw Sung Hoon jumping up and down in a hole. "Sung Hoon! What are you doing down there?!" "I fell in. Help me out!" "okay." She placed her flashlight on the ground. Then she reached over and tried to pull Sung Hoon up, but he was too heavy for her. "i can't." "What do you mean you can't? Use those puny muscles you have!" "You're too heavy! Let me go back to camp for help." "Hell no! What if you leave me here?" "What? I'm not like that!" "How do I know?" "Sung Hoon. Let go!" "No!" Sung Hoon ended up pulling Kyung Hee into the pit with him. She landed on top of him. She got up and started yelling at him. "You selfish jerk! Now we're both stuck down here!" Sung Hoon backed up against the wall. Then he started yelling. "damn! Not again! Why me? Why does it have to be so dark?" Kyung Hee looked at him. "You're afraid of the the dark?" "Yeah! You got a problem?!"

Kyung Hee looked at him in surprise. "No." She started to look at the real Kang Sung Hoon for the first time in a long time. The smart-aleck tough guy was gone. And there he was, the innocent and vulnerable Sung Hoon she first fell in love with when she was eight. But she still hadn't realized it yet.

Sung Hoon started to gasp for air. That scared Kyung Hee. "Sung Hoon...are you okay?" He shook his head. Then suddenly, he leaned over and hugged her hard. He buried his face into her neck and didn't let go. Kyung Hee stood still. She didn't know what to do. "Sung Hoon...are you okay?" Still no answer. She continued to hold him as he shivered in her arms. She ran her fingers through his hair and whispered in his ear like he was a little child that needed comforting. Sung Hoon began to breathe easier an clamed down. Then he realized he was holding onto Kyung Hee a little too hard. He let go, his face blusheing. "Uh, sorry about that. I didn't mean to--" "It's okay."

Sung Hoon gazed at Kyung Hee from the light that the moon shone on her. Her eyes were closed. She was like a sleeping angel. She looked like it too with her raven hair flowing down her back, her little white dress, and she was so naturally beautiful that she didn't need make-up. Sung Hoon began to lean forward to kiss her, but then suddenly she opened her eyes. He pulled back instantly, his cheeks turning red. 'Crap! Did she know what I was about to do?'

Kyung Hee patted him on the shoulder. "Hey Sung Hoon..." "What?" "Look, there's a full moon out tonight." Sung Hoon looked up at the sky. The moon was full and bright. Then he looked over at Kyung Hee, who was smiling. Then she asked him, "Do you remeber when we were ten, we saw te moon's reflection on the lake? You told me the moon was a ball so I would go in and get it?"

Sung Hoon smiled when he reminisced about his childhood past. It had been a happy one ever since he met Kyung Hee. "Yeah, you went into the lake and started to get the moon ball. And you kept asking me why the ball would disappear everytime you came near it? You were so stupid!" He started laughing. Kyung Hee gave him a look. That made him stop laughing, but then she gave him a little smile to show that she wasn't mad and it made him feel better.

"Yeah because of your dumb lies, I almost drowned." "Yeah...I had to jump in and save you. I was worried." "Kyung Hee looked at him. "Were you?" Sung Hoon faced her. He was gazing directly into her eyes. he always thought the best part about Kyung Hee were her eyes. They were big, innocent, and honest. Everytime he looks back, he always remember them as the first thing he saw when he met her. "Yeah kinda. I mean if you ended up drowning, then I would have no one else to pick on."

Kyung Hee looked down and smiled. She knew that Sung Hoon really meant it though. They continued talking about their past and before they knew it, they both fell asleep on eachother's shoulders.

It was morning when Ji Won woke up. He went over to Kyung Hee's tent, but she wasn't there. He patted Chun Ok on the shoulder. "Hey Chun Ok. Do you know where Kyung Hee is?" Chun Ok rolled her eyes. "That girl hasn't been back all night and neither has Sung Hoon. She must have--" Ji Won left before she could finish talking. "Ahh!" she screamed because no one ever listened to her. Ji Won called the others, so they can hel plook for Kyung Hee, but he had the feeling she was with Sung Hoon. He took them to the place where Sung Hoon had fell. Sure enough, there they both were. Kyung hee was leaning against Sung Hoon asleep. Ji Won was mad. "Hey!" The yell woke up Sung Hoon and Kyung Hee. They glanced up to see what it was. Sung Hoon stood up, "Hey you guys, help us out!" Jae Duc started laughing as he pulled Sung Hoon up. "Ooo, Snug Hoonee, what were you and Miss Kyung Hee doing down there all night?" Everyone except for Ji Won laughed. "Shut up Duc-ee," said Sung Hoon. Then he leaned over to help Kyung Hee up. "Let's go home," Sung Hoon said to the others.

It was evening by the time Sung Hoon got home. He was exhausted, so he took a shower and headed straight for bed. He looked over at Kyung Hee's room, who was exactly across from his. Her lights were out so she must be asleep. Sung Hoon sat down on his desk and bagan writing in his journal. He had kept one ever since he was ten and he wrote in it whenever something came up. When he finished writing his entry, he turned off the lights and went to sleep too.

It was eleven at night when Sung Hoon woke up. It was dark out, but he couldn't sleep anymore. So he headed downstairs to look for something to eat. His mom was at the kitchen. "Hi mommy." "Hi Sung Hoonee." She walked over to kiss him on the forehead. "How was camping?" "It was fun." He sat down at the table with his mom. She touched his hair and let out a sigh. "What's wrong mommy?" He began eating his noodles. "Nothing son. It's just that you're all grown up and going to be off to college soon." "Don't worry mommy. It's only a couple of hours from here. I'll be back to visit you and dad often." His mom smiled. "I know. Can you believe it? You and Kyung Hee have known eachother for ten years now and in just two more days, it will be the last time you'll ever see eachother." Sung Hoon choked on his food. "What?" "Oh, you didn't know? Kyung Hee came over an hour ago and made those noodles for us. She told me she's leaving for the U.S. with her boyfriend in just 2 more days." "Boyfriend?!" "Yes, a boy from your class. I think his name is Ji Won." Sung Hoon stopped eating. 'So Kyung Hee is going to go back to Ji Won.' His mom looked at his unfinished food. "Something wrong dear?" Sung Hoon shook his head. "No mommy. I'm full. I think I'll go to my room."

Sung Hoon leaned over his bedroom window. He saw Kyung Hee changing her clothes. Just then she glanced over and saw Sung Hoon watching her. She threw a shirt at him. "What do you think you're doing, you Peeping Tom?" He blocked her shirt. "Can you come over?" Kyung Hee looked at him. 'He looks so sad.' She nodded. "Okay."

Sung Hoon pulled her across from her house and into his room. She sat down and started to look around. She never had been in Sung Hoon's room before, but he was always in hers. "Well, what do you want to talk about?" Sung Hoon looked at her with sad eyes. "Ummm...is it true you're going to the U.S. in two days?" "Oh, you've heard about it already?" "Why didn't you tell me?" "Why do you care anyways?"

Sung hoon got mad. "Why do you always assume that if there's something invovling you, that I don't care?" Sung Hoon started to front her as she backed up into a corner. She was shocked. She never saw Sung Hoon this mad before. "Because you never seemed to care before." Sung Hoon grabbed her wrists and held them up. "Well you know what? I DO care." He began to let her go. "It's just that you don't care about me enough to realize it." He sat down on his bed. Kyung Hee sat down next to him. Sung Hoon, what's wrong?" "Nothing." "Please tell me." Sung Hoon looked at Kyung Hee. His mind kept telling him that this will be the last time he will ever see her . 'It's now or never.' Sung Hoon took a deep breath and told her exactly how he felt.

"I love you."

Kyung Hee stood up in shock, "What?!" Sung Hoon stood up with her. "I love you." Kyung Hee couldn't believe her ears. "Wait, do you know what you're saying?" He nodded his head. "Yes and I do mean it. I love you So Kyung Hee." She moved away from him.

"Do you know what you're saying? I'm going to leave Korea in just two more days with Ji Won. I'm planning to be with him forever."

Sung Hoon nodded his head sadly. "I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." Kyung Hee let out a sigh of relief. "It's okay." But then it hit Sung Hoon. "NO!" Kyung Hee looked at him surprised. "What do you mean 'No?'" He looked at her directly. "Why should I be sorry for saying that I love you? It's the truth!"

Kyung Hee backed up again and then she began to cry. Sung Hoon tried to move near her to comfort her, but she pushed him away. "No! After all this time, you say that you love me?" He looked at her sadly. Kyung Hee looked at him through tears. "I'm sorry Sung Hoon. I want to be with the one I love." Sung Hoon looked at her back. "But do you really love him?" She paused. She thought about it and couldn't find the answer herslef. So she didn't answer and looked away. Sung Hoon thought that was the answer. "It's okay because if I do truly love you, then all I can do is wish for is for you to be happy." He leaned over to hold her shoulders and kissed her on the forehead. "Goodbye."

Kyung Hee looked at him as he walked away. "Sung Hoon, wait." He felt hope go through him. "Yes?" "Is it okay if I take something of yours, as a memory?" That flicker of hope instantly died. He bowed his head down. "Go ahead. Take anything you want." Then he left his room and Kyung Hee left too. Sung Hoon didn't know it, but his journal was gone.

;;Boarding Flight Number 637! All passengers please come aboard at this time;;

Kyung Hee looked out the window of her airplane seat, looking at Korea for the last time. Ji Won sat down next to her. He held her handand gave her a litttle smile. "Don't worry sweetie. It'll be okay, just as long as we're together." Kyung Hee gave him a weak smile and nodded. Ji Won looked at her carefully.

"You sure are pretty today. Remember back then when you were so much like a guy? I mean I couldn't believe that I had dated you back then."

Kyung Hee was taken aback. 'Does look always have to matter?' she thought. She sighed and didn't listen to Ji Won as he continued talking. She pulled out of her handbag the book she took from Sung Hoon's room. She didn't know exactly what it was except that it had Sung Hoon's name on it. She opened it up. 'Oh my gosh! I took his hournal!' She closed the book instantly, but her curiosity got the best of her. She opened it up. The book was held in place by something. She took it out and saw that it was a little bundle strand of hair tied together by an ivory ribbon. She realized it was her hair and the ribbon was teh same one Sung Hoon took from her when he pulled on her pigtails when they first met.

Tears fell don her face as she held onto her hair. 'Sung Hoon, you have loved me so long ago?' She began to read his entries:

October 20
Too CLose. I can't believe it. It had all happened so fast that I didn't have time to think. I would have lost Kyung Hee, if I hadn't seen that fan falling. If it did fall and killed Kyung Hee, what would become of me? She'll be gone forever, leaving me in this creul and lonely world. You would have thought that I would have told her that I loved her right then because I came so close to losing her, but I didn't. When I pushedher out of the way in time, I also chopped off her beautiful, long hair. I knew it was her prized posession. I said something really stupid and now she hates me forever. Why must I always hurt the one I love the most?

Kyung Hee paused in shock. After all these years, she had blamed Sung Hoon for cutting off her hair, when all he did was risk his own life to save hers. More tears slipped down her face as she continued reading:

February 14
Ha Ha! Hey, today I was teasing Kyung Hee in the cafeteria again. She was so mad. She hated it when I called her Macho Man. Is it my fault she looks so much like a guy? Hmmm...but underneath all that, she was still the same So Kyung Hee that I love. It's so hard telling her how I feel because everytime we talk, we end up arguing or dissing eachother about something. It's Valentine's Day today, and I don't even have the guts to give her the dozen roses I have right here. I hope she's not out with some other guy though.

Kyung Hee let out a little laugh. She'd figure Sung Hoon would write something like that. She flipped the book all the way to the last entry:

July 7
I love camping. Yesterday I was out camping with everyone and the most important of all, Kyung Hee. That stupid jerk Ji Won made me fall into a pi, but like always, Kyung Hee was there for me. I don't know what to do without her. We talked about our past together and of course, she reminded me of how I tortured her. Underneath the moonlight, she looked so pretty. I began to realize that my childhood happiness was all because of her. She didn't laugh at me when she found out my fear. And you know waht? Since Kyung Hee was down in that dark hole with me, I'm not afraid of the dark anymore. But I'm still afraid to admit to Kyung Hee that I love her. What if she rejects me? All I know is that I can't live life without her.

Kyung Hee shut the journal. She began to do some thinking of her own, She looked over at Ji Won, who was sleeping. Then she realized it. All of her tearsand happiness were all because of Sung Hoon. He was the only one who was able to make her laugh or cry. She knew right then she couldn't leave.

;;Flight 637 is prepared for take-off;;

Sung Hoon watched the plane for Flight 637 take off. He walked away from the fence when the plane was no longer seen. Tears fell down his cheeks as he started to head home. 'It's over.' Sung Hoon got into his car. He leaned against his seat and sighed. 'If we were meant to be together, then Kyung Hee will show up right now.'

"Kang Sung Hoon!"

Sung Hoon sat up instantly. He recognized that voice. "Kyung Hee? Can't be!" He looked up and saw her running towards him. He was so happy, he couldn't speak. He got out of his carright away and ran towards her. She ended up in his arms. He spun her around. He gently placed her down and said, "I don't get it! Your plane left already! I mean how?"

Kyung Hee smiled. "I got off the plane before it took off. Ji Won wasn't exactly happy about it, but it's okay." Sung Hoon looked at her shyly. "But I thought you wanted to spend the rest of your life with someone you fell in love with first?" Kyung hee gazed into the face of the person she knew she wanted to see every day. She leaned over to kiss him. Then she whispered,

"IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG."

[ THE END ]

Her Story - By by an anonymous DISCSian

2007-09-13T14:28:00.000+08:00

SECOND YEAR will soon come to a close.

Soon we would all be going to third year. 'Might be promoting' should be more appropriate. My almost two years in DISCS really have memories that I will always keep in my mind. So many things had happened; so many lessons were learnt; so many things had changed. I had changed. She had changed too. So had those after her.

The life in Comp Science was really tough. There are only a few more months to plough through before the final year. As I look back at my almost two short years here, I felt a sense of remorse and regret. I did not make full use of my time here. I had done many wrong things and did not do other things that I should have. And I am not going to let the third year just slip past like that.

Perhaps if I can change history, I would. I really hope I could.
First day in campus was chaotic. I found an army friend who took Comp. Sc. too. We 'buddied' up and took the new challenge of navigating out life in NUS together. He is a very playful person and is always full of life and vigour.

He pulled me to attend the NUSSU Hop and Jam. We really let our hair loose and danced crazily. I enjoyed myself at the hop. That was where I met her.
She had gone to the hop with a group of friends. I saw her during the jam and eyed her when the hop started. She is different from the girl I had before from my last failed relationship. She is jovial, sexy, playful and looked good too.

"Hey, that chick you are eyeing is not bad. Go for it man!", Ken supported.
I danced and moved myself towards her group of friends with Ken tailing behind. I moved towards her slowly as by chance.
"Hi, can I dance with you?", I asked.

She just smiled and her friends looked on. I felt so embarrassed that I hope the ground would just open up and swallow me. Of course, the more experienced Ken came to my rescue.
"Hi everybody! Ken is my name and dancing is my game. My buddy is Min. Can we join in?"
The other girls just giggled. She looked at me and I took the cue. We joined them and danced in a circle. My eyes were fixed on her most of the time. She looked better in the flashing lights. Her hair was silky soft, her skin fair and unblemished. Her smile was gorgeous. Her eyes were hypnotizing. Her figure was sexy as can be seen by her skin cladding black one-piece. Who would not like her?

Amidst the loud blaring of the speakers, I managed to find out a few things about her. She was from Comp Science too and like me, a freshie. She stayed in Bukit Merah, quite close to NUS. She was from a good college and had chosen to study Law but could not make it and was posted to her second choice instead.

We danced until almost eleven when the girls decided to go back. I seized the chance to send her back. She was reluctant at first but I insisted. The other girls looked on with suspicious eyes but who cares!

Ken was careful to make sure I went back with her alone by treating the other girls to a drink at Clementi. I still have not paid Ken the $7+ that he spent that night with the three girls.
The journey to her place was awkward but memorable. My heart was beating very fast and I hoped she could not hear my nervousness. My speech was slurred and incoherent. She giggled at my nervousness and stupidity. I guess that was why she liked about me at first. I asked her many questions on the way. She was careful not to reveal too much details and worse, she just would not give me her telephone number.
I sent her back to her door. She turned around and said,
"You are the first guy who send me back on the first date. The others were so... so ungentlemanly."

My heart soared. She smiled sweetly and opened her door. Needless to say, her family were all asleep. Before closing the wooden door, she whispered,
"You are very cute. See you tomorrow!" Having said that, she smiled her thousand-dollar smile and closed the door gently.
It took me quite some time to register what she said. I felt giddy and very very happy. I did not even mind the $8+ that I spent on taxi fare back to Hougang.
Lisa just wouldn't give me her telephone number. We always talked on Vax until the wee hours in the morning. I asked her many times why she would not give me her telephone number and she would just say that her family do not allow guys to call her. Hard to believe that but I had to accept. I could have gotten her number from her friends but I decided to let her give it to me personally some time later.

She was also afraid to be seen in public with me. She would only meet in the Central Library or YIH, but never in Comp Science. I questioned her and she would say "I am afraid rumour will spread". Can't she take me as her boyfriend?
We went out many times; about twice a week. Her favourite colours were black and white, evident by her dressing. Sometimes we went to a movie and sometimes to a park. When we were out of campus, she would hold my hands, as if afraid to let go. In campus, she would make no physical contact with me.

One day we went to Marina Bay on a Saturday afternoon after the lectures. We stayed there until late into the evening, seven plus. The gentle breeze blew against our face, stinging our eyes with the sea salt it brought along. She sat beside me and laid her head on my chest. I held her soft body and wrapped my arm around her shoulder. I toyed with her hair and combed them off her forehead and tried many different hair styles on her beautiful face.

"That felt very nice." she whispered softly and looked into my eyes.
I stared into her big beautiful eyes. My heart began to pound quickly and loudly. She smiled and closed her eyes, her lips parting slightly. I moved my lips to meet hers and savoured the succulent and reddish pink lips. Her welcoming tongue was the more curious tongue. Both of us could tell that the other one was experienced in this act of love. Perhaps she was more experienced.

After a minute or so, both of us were breathless. We stopped our first kiss. She closed her eyes for a while as if saying a prayer. She opened them and looked at me straight into my eyes. I held her closer and asked,

"What are you thinking of?"
"Nothing. Just hold me now". She closed her eyes again and cuddled into my arms. I felt happy but strange. I asked her,
"Do you love me?"

She was startled. She stared at my eyes as and searched for words to say. After a while she got up from her reclining position and sat upright, pushing her hair back and looked out into the sea.
"You are not the first one I ever love. But I love you very much. Please know and remember that." Tears streamed down her cheeks like strings of pearls against the park lamps.

"Lisa, why do you cry? Have I said something wrong today?"
"No. It's just that I am overwhelmed by feelings. I hate to lie to you but I feel that I couldn't hide it from you either"
"Hide what? Is there something you want to tell me? Is it about your secretiveness? " I asked expectantly. I know this day would happen. She would tell me her story.
"I actually had three relationships before." she said weakly. I had expected her to have a relationship before but not three!

"Are you shocked? Hello?"
"No... I... I just... I am just surprised."

She closed her eyes and more silent tears flowed. I knew she was crying silently inside. I held her close and felt the warmth that spread through her body to mine. I was at a loss of what to say. I just held her and waited for her sobbing to stop.
When it finally did about ten minutes later she said,

"My first boyfriend went after me when we were in college and after he got me, he broke off with his girlfriend. I felt bad about it all. He was very good looking, intelligent and popular. He was the vice-captain of the school rugger team.

"That was two years ago, first year in JC. We loved each other very much until one day he changed. He found another girlfriend; a rich man's daughter. He just left me without any word. I called him many times and pleaded with him to come back but to no avail. The worse thing is that I had already... given him my virginity. I resigned to my fate and was very sad after that. I could not come to terms with reality then. We were so in love and suddenly he changed so fast. I was miserable for a long time.

I cried myself to sleep many nights and whenever I dreamt of him, I would pick up the phone and call him, only to put down the receiver when I realised that it's only a dream. I could not eat proper meals and my studies suffered. I was even more jealous whenever I saw him with his new girl. They walked past me without even saying 'Hi'. I was very troubled and sad. I almost failed my promos because of that."

I winced at these words. They hit me like a stone out of the blue. I didn't imagine all this could have happened. She went on.

"The second one came around February; just before Chinese New year. He is different. He was not handsome nor the active type. He is a mugger but he has a heart of gold. He didn't know much about my previous relationship with my first boyfriend. He only knew that we broke off. I didn't want to tell him much about my previous relationship. I didn't like him at first.

"He sent me back from school almost everyday. He brought me my first flowers. We ignored all the gossips that was going on about us. We were very happy together. We would spend the day doing tutorial or go to the nearby park. He would then send me home just in time for dinner. Life was simple and sweet. I loved him very much.

"One day he came to me at the beginning of first lesson and asked me this question: Did you give your virginity to him? I was shocked beyond words. I wondered how he knew. He told me later that he heard rumours about it. I didn't want to keep him in the dark anymore. I told him the truth after lessons.

He only said these three words: You cheated me. I could sense the burning anger and sadness inside him. He never spoke to me after that. My world just collapsed into pieces. I don't blame him at all. I didn't know what to do. After so long of learning to love him I just lost him like that. I blame myself for being so stupid and for covering up the truth. I had thought that everything would be fine and happy.

But who knows? Had I told him earlier things might be different. I almost thought of committing suicide until a friend stopped me and talked to me for almost three hours on top of the school building."

I pitied her. Tears formed in my eyes. I did not know what to do. I just hope that all these were not real. I just hope that this would not happen to the girl I love. She continued, with eyes staring straight into the sea while she narrated.

"Prelims came and I fared badly. I worked very hard for the next one and a half months. Luckily I did okay for A-level.

"While waiting for the results, I worked in an accounting firm. The office boy there took fancy on me. He was awaiting to be enlisted. He was 1 year my junior. He was only an O-level holder but he was quite handsome with his boyish look. I liked him but I knew that there was no future with us. I did not let him know I was working temporarily there. I also did not let him know I am waiting for A-level results because I was afraid to make him feel inferior or that I was showing off.
"He bought lunch for me although I refused. He would say that he had already bought it and asked me not to waste his hard earned money. He sent me flowers every week to my house and occasionally small presents he made himself. Dad was furious when he knew about it but he couldn't do anything. The boy was persistent. I began to like him slowly. I only went out with him a month just before his March enlistment. He would take me to those bowling alleys and ice skating ring. He used his hard earned money to make me happy. I appreciated that and asked him not to do it but he said it's his money and it's up to him how he would spend it. He was a bit stubborn.
"Enlistment day came and I was the only one to send him off. Before he left he said: 'Wait for me. When I come out I will marry you.'
"My heart was overjoyed. For the first time in my life a guy had proposed to me. I felt so assured of the future and for the first time felt confident about relationship. After his 3 weeks confinement we went out every weekend. I would tease him about his botak head and he would tease me saying I look prettier and prettier. We would go to his house and spend hours relating about my work and his army stories.
"When I received the letter from NUS that I was given a place in Comp Science, I was overjoyed. I told him the Tuesday night he called me. His tone changed immediately. I could sense something was wrong. He was very quiet after that and we didn't speak much. Before we hanged up he said: 'Wait for me'. I was puzzled but I didn't have the chance to ask him.
"That night, about three a.m. someone came and knocked on our door. Dad opened it. I heard some argument and my name was mentioned. I got up and was shocked to see him at the door. I asked him why he had come. He just said that his PC gave permission for everyone to have a night off. I pleaded with dad to let us go down to the playground to talk. Dad took pity on us and relented.
"He held my hand firmly all the way. He kept saying that he loves me. I already knew that though. I assured him I love him too but he seemed unconvinced. I decided to make love to him that night in the large and dark playground at three plus a.m. I did all I can to assure him of my love for him. The whole neighbourhood was deserted. About half an hour after we made love, the chilling breeze blew and he held me in his arms. I felt safe and sleepy. I slept in his arms in the playground.
"Suddenly I was awaken by shoutings. I saw a few soldiers running towards him. He looked worried and said: 'Sorry Lisa, I have to go. I know we cannot be together after you go to university but I know what I did is worth it. Tonight is worth it all the trouble. I will not forget tonight.'
"It wasn't before long I knew he had AWOLed to see me. He had beaten up the guards at his camp and stole a military vehicle out. I did not know how he do it. I only know why. One of the guards was seriously injured when he refused to let my boyfriend come out. Because of the multiple charges, he was sentenced to three years confinement in detention barracks.
"I was so moved by his stupidity and sincerity. I decided to give up my university education for him. I visited him to tell him my decision. He was happy but he said that education to me is more important than him. He wanted me to continue study but I told him I wanted to earn money and wait for him to get out and we will then get married. His last words to me were: 'Always remember me.' He died the next day. He had committed suicide in the detention barracks. I cried for many days. His parents blamed me for their son's death. I felt remorseful but I did not know how to pay them back their only son. I visited them every week as they were well into their pension age. I cleaned their house and kept them company. I wore black and white since then. It was also then that I learnt they had a step-daughter studying in science too.
"Min, it's not that I do not like you. I love you. Very much. I just feel so unsecure and I have no confidence in relationship anymore. Three failed relationships in a mere two years just make me afraid to go into the fourth one. Can't you see I have no more confidence? I was cheated by the first one. The second one was cheated by me. And the third one died for me. Tell me, what will you do if the fourth one come? I had told myself never to enter into another relationship until I graduate. My friends advised me that too. But you came along. I was so reluctant but I am a human being as well. I feel love, I need to be loved, I need to love too. Can you see? I pity easily, and I love easily too."
By then her words were broken with sobbings. I suddenly realised why she always wore white and black. I also realised why she did not want to be seen with me. She was just so unfortunate.
"I am truly sorry. I shouldn't have suspected you nor asked you things like that."
Both of use kept quiet for sometime. Her half-an-hour long narration shocked me and drove words out of my mind. She was silent too. She still sat upright beside me. She looked at me and asked,
"Do you still want me?"
Her eyes were blank. A sign of defeat and hopelessness was all I can sense. I stared into those blank eyes and think hard, not knowing what to think or what to say. Her background was complex and difficult to accept. I did not know if we can carry this through together too. I just did not know what to do.
I love her. But yet I was afraid of what had happened. I was afraid that the past would catch up with the present. I was afraid of what other people would say about us if we carried on. I was afraid of what her last boyfriend's step-sister would think and do. Will she accept the fact that her step-brother's lover is in someone else's arms in just a mere four months?
Besides, I had hope that my girlfriend would be a 'pure' girl. I do not mind about past relationships but she had already given herself to two other guys. I blamed her for being too liberal. But then, am I any better? I had sex before with my first love too although we were still virgins. I debated within myself for a long time.
I know she loved me very much as she had put her own future in my hands by telling me her deepest secrets. I am glad that she was frank with me. I am really grateful that she did not hide anything from me.
So many odds were against us. The heaven seemed to be smiling on me just a few hours ago. And now, it seemed to be putting a curse on me.
Her gaze was still fixed on me. She was still waiting for my reply. I knew what I was about to say would change both of our future. I had planned to tell her I want her, I need her and I love her. I turned and met her gaze but she spoke first.
"Min, don't pity me. If you are going to say 'yes' to make me feel better, please don't. Both of us will not be happy together. I think it's better that we put everything on hold first and see how things will work out. Let time be a test of our real love for each other. But remember... I do love you. There is always a special place for you in my heart. You know my feelings towards you. You make the decision. Sometime later."
My heart sank. How could she say that? She might have no confidence in the future but at least let us fight this battle together. On the other hand, this might seem to be a better solution. I agreed to her suggestion. Perhaps time will be a better judge than ourselves.
Three weeks had passed since we last talked to one another. We still say 'Hi' but we never talked face to face nor on the VAX. School work also became heavier and heavier. It was a strange feeling altogether to be alone again except for Ken's company during school hours.
During that two weeks Ken was very supportive. He did not know why we decided to put everything on hold. He offered to help but could he? He got himself a girl from Arts that he met in his ECA. She was quite good too. She also offered to help but Ken had asked her to join her friends because he wanted to be with me during this difficult time. I was very grateful to both of them.
She did not say how long we must wait. She just said we put everything on hold. I know I couldn't wait any longer. I just need her badly because I love her very much. Every now and then she would just pop up from my mind whenever my mind was wondering. I thought of her on bus. I thought of her in between the lecturer's pauses. I thought of her while brushing my teeth. I thought of her while trying to sleep at night. I just couldn't concentrate on my work or anything I was doing. Life became so unbearable without her.
I decided to talk to her face to face. I know where she usually went after lessons, an obscure corner in the Central Library. I had made up my mind to tell her I need her and I love her.
The internal shuttle service journey just did not seem fast enough. I hope the bus driver would just hurry up and get to Central quickly. Can't he understand I am going to tell her I love her and I want her? If only the driver knew.
I alighted at Central and ran towards the Central Library. I took two to three steps at a time up the spiral staircase. I just couldn't wait to tell her the good news.
I saw her studying alone at the same old place that we used to study together. I walked quietly behind her and hugged her from the back. My lips moved just in time to stop her mouth from letting out a scream and stole a quick kiss.
"Lisa, I can't live without you. I want you. Please back come to me. I love you."
Her shock expression puzzled me. I thought she should be very happy to be with me. Before I could ask her anything a hand patted on my shoulders.
"Hey, why do you kiss my girlfriend?"
I spun around and saw a big guy behind me. He was half a head taller and quite muscular. He was quite tanned too. I was shocked. Why was he talking like that?
"Excuse me guys. Let me explain." Lisa said hurriedly. "Min, this is Roger. Roger, meet Min."
Roger is Lisa's first boyfriend. I was even more shocked this time. What had happened? Is everything and everybody going crazy?
"Lisa, I demand to know what is happening. Would you mind explaining?" I asked angrily.
"Roger, please leave us for a moment. I'll join you... no, I'll meet you in your car later. Wait for me there." Roger went away but before he did he gave me the don't-do-anything-funny-or-else-I'll-bash-you-up kind of look. That did not scare me at all until I recalled that he was a rugby player.
"Min. I hope you will forgive me. Yes I still love him. I have always loved him. I have given him my virginity. He is my first love, can't you see? My first love!"
My heart just shattered into a million pieces. I sat there not knowing what to do. Everything just did not look right. I just couldn't believe this came from someone I love so much.
"I love you too. I always will. I said you will always have a special place in my heart. You certainly will have." she consoled me. "See, Roger came to me about a week after we stop seeing one another. He was a very shattered man. He changed into a sloppy and defeated person. He told me his girlfriend dumped him after both of them got into U. Her rich girlfriend went to NTI and got herself another boyfriend. Roger didn't have to serve NS as he is an Indonesian."
"So you are together with him because he is a rich Indonesian guy?"
"No! He pleaded with me to go back to him but I refused initially. He was so adamant that he followed me with his car all the way home. Dad persuaded me to tell him off when he stood outside our door. I knew I cannot talk or see him in the eyes because I knew I still love him. I knew what my first words to him will be. He just didn't leave until way past dinner at ten p.m. plus. Mom gave him some food but he refused to eat. He just sat outside our door saying he wanted to see me and talk to me."
"So what? I can do just that!" I retorted.
"Just listen Min. Our neighbours kept looking at him and us. Upon Dad's urging, I finally brought him some cold food and he ate so heartily. His eyes lit up and his face so radiant. I was so touched. I mean, he did that all for me. I can see straight away that his love for me has not died yet. He still love me after all. I just felt that I can forgive everything that he did to me. After all, those were history already. No point finger pointing and accusing one another anymore."
Lisa eyes were quite excited now. She was oblivion to my sorrow and anger.
"I invited him in that night. Dad and mom were touched too. Little sis even said he is in love with me. I was so happy then. I never felt so supported by my family before. Dad invited him to stay overnight which he did. I don't know why but Dad suddenly became so approving of Roger. Perhaps Dad remembered that Roger was my first love and Dad didn't know about you. Anyway, I thought I might just let everything go step by step."
"You mean you forgot about me and all those you said just three weeks ago? I asked accusingly. "Remember what you said to me?"
"No I did not forget. But you must see, Min. Do you know that in that two weeks I experienced love that I never felt before? Do you know that I felt like we are both falling in love again just like two years ago? I can never forget that feeling. It cannot be relived. Roger has changed completely. He became neat and tidy again. He started exercising again. But most of all he has become a very happy man again. He changed because of me. Do you see?"
I knew I had lost her forever. Nothing I could say or do would bring her back. I just lost my love. In a short three months plus, I had loved and lost love. I just couldn't believe that people can change so fast. I did not blame her either. I couldn't forget my first love either. And I dare say I still have special feelings for her though I know I would never want her back.
I closed my world to everything other than eat, sleep, and study; the three Ss of NUS life. Ken was busy himself when his Arts girlfriend demanded he spend more time with her than me. Ken relented and he spent most of him time after lessons with her. I did not tell anybody other than Ken what had happened. Ken wanted to help but he was busy himself.
I led a semi-recluse life. I skipped some lectures and tutorials. Lisa herself was busy and she would disappear right after the last lesson to heaven knows where with Roger. Ken would do the same with his Arts girl. I was left all alone to lead my life. Some of my classmates teased me saying I had become a lone ranger but I didn't care. How would they know the plight I am in? Would they understand? So what if they could? Can they help?
Even my family noticed my weird behaviour. Mom asked me if things are alright in school. How can I tell her the truth? It will only break her heart. Life became intolerable. I became a zombie-like creature. People would ask me why I didn't understand or remember what they said. Lectures also became so boring. Tutorial seems to come two at a time. Things just didn't go right.
The one month break came. It was such a timely break for me to catch up on my undone tutorials. Like what Aaron said, the undergrad's life revolve around the 4 Ls : Lecture, Loo, Lunch and Love. [Aaron interrupts: He forgot a few other Ls.] For me, it's minus the last L and plus another one, Loneliness.
Our project group for Pascal assignment wanted to meet almost every week to do it. I was naturally given the simplest part when Ken told the rest that I had some family problem. He is still a good friend after all. Afraid that I would hold up the group, Ken did quite some of my parts as I just couldn't solve the algo bugs.
"Now, let's see if you can solve the last bit yourself. It shouldn't be too difficult if you had read on those functions, Min," Ken challenged me.
"Ok, I'll give it a shot." I replied.
"That's my man. Seize the day and make more out of it!" Ken encouraged.
I stayed later than the rest to debug my part. The rest of my team mates had gone back an hour ago. I really wanted to do this final part myself. Ken had helped me a lot but then I need to learn this myself or else I would not know how to do it later in the exams. I stayed at the terminal until eight plus.
I tried quite hard until at around eight thirty when I finally solved the last problem and my part ran through smoothly. I was so happy that I shouted hooray as if I had just reached the top of a huge mountain. But really, it was an on-top-of-the-world feeling.
Suddenly a message flashed across the screen.
"Hi, still working at this hour?"
"Yes. Doing pascal assignment" I replied using the 'talk' facility to reply Karen.
"Oh! I just want to say you let out a great smile just now."
I stood up immediately and looked around the big VAX room. Karen is not in sight. [The big VAX room is at the corner of the second floor of S15, now renamed as the Programming Lab 1.]
"Hey where are you? How come you can see me and I cannot see you?"
"I can see you but you cannot see me. :)"
I spied at the other ten plus users in big VAX room but none of them resembled Karen in any way.
"You seem very gloomy these days. Your smile just now was simply fantastic."
"Karen, where are you?"
"Please don't ask me where I am. I won't tell you"
I was puzzled by the message. Karen normally do not talk on VAX. She was those mugger type who do not stay until so late too.
"You don't sound like Karen. Who are you?"
"Why do you say that?"
"Karen does not stay so late and she does not use 'talk' anyway."
"You are right. I am not Karen. I am a friend of her."
"Why are you using her account?"
"Because I want to talk to you and..."
"And what?"
"and I do not want you to know who am I"
"Huh? Why?"
"Because..."
"Because?"
"Because I like you."
That message came a bolt out of the blue. I took quite some time to register what happened.
"Excuse me, if you are playing a prank, I advise you to stop. This is not funny."
"I am serious. I had observed you for a long time. I even know that you and Lisa are no longer together."
I was shocked. No one except Ken and Lisa's friends knew about our relationship, let alone that we broke off. I also knew that this mysterious girl was quite serious.
"Why do you use her account? You can use yours to talk to me"
"No. I rather not reveal myself. I am quite contented. Do you know that when you are gloomy you are not the only one?"
"How come?"
"The one who likes you feels the same as you do. Do you know?"
I was pleasantly surprised. I had never imagine myself to be observed let alone liked by a girl. I am neither handsome, rich or good in studies. Perhaps this girl saw something else in me?
"Hey, why don't you tell me who are you?"
"No. I can't. And please don't ask Karen too. And please please don't use qt80."
"What qt80?"
"Oh never mind, as i expected."
At that time I did not know what was qt80 as I seldom use VAX other than to read mails of tutorial assignments, talk to Lisa, and do the Pascal assignment.
The next day when I saw Karen came back to do her Pascal assignment I observed her and even talked to her. She was either a superb actress or she really did not know what happened. I did not tell anyone about this mysterious person.
The second time the mysterious person talked to me was late at night while I was using modem to do the documentation for my part.
"Hi...pascal again?"
"Yes."
"I am NOT Karen."
"Yes I know. Karen does not own a modem. I found out that she does not own a PC."
"Quite clever of you. Hey, can I ask you some questions?"
"Sure, go ahead."
"Why did you and Lisa break up?"
"Sorry, I think it's too personal. I am very sorry."
"It's ok. I am just curious. Hey, tell me, when is your birthday?"
"It's over two months ago. What about yours?"
"Mine is at the middle of the year. May 19."
"Oh mine is 2/9. What name shall I call you?"
There was a pause before she continued.
"Just call me Sally."
"Is that you real name?"
"No. it's just a name that i like, btw, how many people are there in your family?"
"You doing a family survey? *joking*"
"No. Just like to know. You mind?"
"Surely not. I have a younger sister and my parents of course. What about you?"
"Oh I have an elder brother and a younger sister."
"I see."
Our conversations lasted until quite late in the morning. I found out a lot more about 'Sally' now. I tried to bait her to tell me more about her name and class but she was quite careful. I gave up quickly and concentrated on trying to find out more about her.
She was from an ordinary JC and had formally taken Comp Science there. No wonder she was quite good with computers. Her father is technician and her mother a housewife. Sally was a free thinker but she still prayed to those Chinese deities. Her hobbies included playing piano and making cross-stitch. I also found out that she is a kind and sensitive person from the wide range of topics we talked about.
One day I was using VAX when Sally talked to me again. She asked me if I would be interested to go for a Raffles Affiliates outing.
"So when is the night tour?" I asked.
"On 29 Nov, after school re-opens. The night tour is over Sat night till Sunday."
"Are you going yourself?"
"I might...if you go. Then you will know who I am."
"Sure, I'll be interested to go and find out who you are."
"Then welcome! See u there!"
I was quite curious who this Sally was. I signed up alone because I was afraid Ken's presence might make Sally feel awkward. Time passed quickly and Nov 29 came.
We were to wait at YIH for the coach to pick us up. I waited apprehensively at the assigned location. I had never been to a night tour and I was pretty excited. I was even more excited as I was about to meet the mysterious Sally. I sat alone from the rest of the people attending the tour. It seemed I was the only Comp Science student there. Suddenly a girl's voice called out.
"Hi! I am Sally."
I looked up and saw her. I have never seen her before. She is tall and looked quite sophisticated too. She has quite a good figure. Her short hair looked very good with her face. She wore expensive clothes too. I was puzzled and surprised.
"Are you sure you are Sally? I've never seen you before."
"Why do you always assume I am a first year? Can't I be second year?"
I was so surprised. People always said that I had luck but I did not believe until now. Yes, I do have luck. But then, even luck comes with efforts. I decided not to let that night slip by. I wanted to turn the it into a memorable night. The first night with Sally.
SALLY observed that we were the only Comp Science people there. Good, we did not have to think of computers for a while. The organiser of the tour was a second year Bizad student. She tried hard to get everybody together and mix around. Of course, the two of us clicked immediately and mixing with other people was not important at all.
As it was only about a month since Lisa left me, I still felt dejected and lost then. I wanted someone to talk to and someone to listen to my troubles and worries. I poured out my heart to her and she listened well. Perhaps it was also because of the sudden relief from loneliness that I was feeling; I felt that I could talk to her like a good old friend. I told her about Lisa, about Ken, about how my studies suffered and about my army days.
She was an interested listener. She was very patient and quite cultured too I think. Her actions were refined. The way she smiled, the way she drank her cola, the way she walked, the way she laughed, the way she talked, the way she looked at me, the way she brushed her hair; they all spoke of someone with good etiquette and charged with feminism. Her voice was clear and interesting. I just love watching her and listening to her.
Like two lovers on honeymoon, we were oblivious to the outside world. We only talked to ourselves and 'took care' of our own selves. It was like a small world of our own; sitting on the coach and travelling from place to place.
Each time the coach stopped, we would be the last one to alight. Each time we left a place, we would be among the first to get up the coach to take the back seats. We had more privacy that way.
One of the places we visited was a discotheque. It was there that I discovered that she was a good dancer. It was also there that I discovered that she came from rich family; she frequented high class eating and leisure places quite often with another of her 'high' society girlfriend. She told of me of how guys at those places always wanted to know them and tried dating them too. Her girlfriend was quite game and even went out with some of them. She was a bit more conservative she said. She only went out with an engineer who was six years her senior to the pub, or so she said.
The second last place we visited was the fish market. As early as three a.m., people already started selling and buying fresh vegetables, meat and fish there. We were led to a floating walkway across the warehouse because the whole place can be observed from there.
The floating walkway was high and slippery. When the 'guide' stopped at the middle of it to explain to us the various functioning of the place, Sally held onto my elbow as if she was afraid of heights. I seized the chance too to hold her hands and lead her all the way until we went back to the coach.

The feeling was different. With Lisa there was always a fear to be seen by her cousin and her friends. But with Sally, things were quite the opposite. We ignored other undergrads who said we were 'fast'. Who cares!

The last place visited was Mount Faber. Some of the people were sleeping, some were talking, but most were buaya-ing I suppose. We walked to a quiet place away from the rest and settled down onto a lookout bench on a slope. It was quite far from the rest of the group. None of them could see or hear us, but we could see and hear them.

Sally sat down beside me and we started talking about our childhood days. She told me about how tomboyish she was; I told her about how girlie I was too. She even told me of how once she urinated into her flower pot when she learnt that urine can 'help' a plant to grow.
"Do you have any boyfriend before?" I asked.

She looked at me and said, "What do you think?"
"Well you certainly look good and I think you have a lot of suitors."
"Do I look that good? Anyway, there aren't many. Only a few." she replied. "Hey, tell me why did you break up with Lisa?"

I debated whether I should tell her the truth. Knowing that it was quite useless to keep the truth from her, I decided to tell her bits of it.
"I did not break up with her. She left me. She left me for her ex. That's why," I said curtly. I was a bit angry and a bit sad. "I just cannot comprehend why she left me so suddenly. I just could not bring her back."

"If she ever come back to you, will you still want her?"
I was not so sure myself. I stared out into the horizon. The blinking lights of the ships did not tell me any answer. Neither did the blinking stars above that littered heaven. I was confused about my own feelings towards Lisa. I was angry with her for changing and dumping me. But then I still loved her. I did not know the answer to the question Sally asked.

"I suppose she would not ask me back. I still like her. But I think if she ever come back to me, I might say 'yes'. It depends on when and why she comes back to me."
"If... say tomorrow?"
"I might."
"What if it's because her ex dumps her again?"
"Then I would not."
"But what if she found out she did not love him as much as she loves you?"
I was surprised at that question. I really hoped it is true. But will she? In her own words she said that she was falling in love with him again. Will she do the same for me? I did not think I can hold a candle to him at all. I 'lost' to him in many ways.
"Min, is the question too sensitive? You know you needn't have to answer."
"It's a case I never thought of before. I don't know."

I could senses that she was a bit disappointed. I could see in her eyes that she hoped that I would say I will never go back to Lisa. But then I did not want to lie to her. What else could I say?
The cold morning breeze made our casual wear defenseless against the coldness. Sally folded her arms and rubbed her own elbows. She did not want to look at me. Through the sunlight that was trying to break through the horizon, I could see a sparkle in her eye.

My heart just melted. I could sense that she needed someone to hold her, to prop up her lost confidence and hope. I put my arms around her shoulder, trying to shield her away from the cold breeze. She was a bit surprised; she just moved closer to me and laid her head on my shoulder.

We were silent for about a few minutes. Both of us needed one another for warmth, both kinds of warmth.
"Min, I want to tell you I like you. You don't have to feel the same."
"I... I like you too. It's just that I still cannot forget Lisa. I mean I enjoy talking to you. I enjoy being with you. I like your company. I really hope we can be better friends and perhaps, special friends."
"Really?" her face lit up.
"Yes, I want to give us a try. Will you..."
She did not need words to communicate her answer and feelings. She turned around and gave me a 'side' hug with a quick peck on the cheek. I was elated. I felt so wonderful. Never has anyone kissed me so suddenly. I felt safe and secured too.

She semi-snuggled on the bench and rested her head on my lap. I looked at her contented look and was very happy. I played with her short hair and also fingered with her bracelet. We did not need any words to communicate feelings. Our touches were electrified and deliberated. Morning has just broken. A new day, a new chapter awaited us.
After our lessons were over, we would go to her place to spend the rest of the afternoon to study. Dinner at her place was solid. Her maid was good at Indian food. I really wondered how she kept her figure.

Sometimes we would go to a park or a good eating place. There were times when she would drive her father's car out to a reservoir and she would let me drive the car. My driving license saw some good use at last.

Her dad co-owned a chain of restaurants with her uncles. No wonder she is good with food. Whenever we went out, she never allowed me to pay for the bill. She always said that her Dad gave a lot of money and if she did not spend them, she would waste it on compact discs, clothes and jewelry. Because she said that, I felt much better.
One Saturday we went to her home as usual. I noticed that she was particularly happier than normal.

"Why are you so happy? Anything up?" I asked.
"A little pre-Christmas surprise for you. You will know later."
When we reached her place, she asked me to wait in her room. I noticed that her house was very quiet. I could only hear her pekinese barking at me in the next door.
"Well what's up?" I asked when she returned to her room.
She put down a tray of glasses and vodka and held up my hands and said softly, "My parents went to Indonesia for some business. They took my little sis along. My brother went for ICT. I gave the maid two days off in return for a promise not to breathe a word about everything. Such chance doesn't come easily. We can..."

"Wait...why vodka?" I interrupted.
"Vodka makes you feel higher." she breathed those words sexily.
Two of us were alone in a large house. She went over to her personal mini-hifi and repeat-played the theme from Dying Young. I smiled and poured the vodka for ourselves. We drank the crystal clear liquid and felt good and excited.
She walked towards me and put her arms around my shoulder. I responded and put mine around her waist. We moved in rhythm to the sentimental music. It felt so wonderful. The music was good. The partner was better. The drink was solid. The mood was fantastic.
I felt tipsy quite quickly and wanted to stop dancing. She seemed to keep quite a cool head. I moved my hands to the button of her jean skirt and unbutton it, dropping the skirt onto the floor. She stepped aside and unbuckle my belt, unbuttoning it at the same time. She was a smooth operator.

It wasn't long before there was nothing to take off. She led me to her queen-size bed. The music was still playing. We were still tipsy. Our mood was even higher and the heat was on...
Music was playing. Vodka was working. Passion was flying. And... everything else did not matter. Only ourselves.
I just could not forget that memorable weekend. We had the whole house to ourselves. We had lots of fun and tried many things we normally would not do. Sally also proved to be a great cook. She had planned it the week before when her parents told her they would be going away for a three-day business cum sightseeing trip to Indonesia. She was certainly cool. I like that.
One day while waiting for Sally, I decided to log onto VM in the IBM room to do my Cobol tutorial. I was doing halfway when I overheard,

"You mean the one who is going out with a guy from first year is it?"
"Ya lor. The one who was driving the car one."
"So what did you see?"
"I saw them at the Ship last Friday. She paid for the bill one you know?"
"Wah... so good one. I envy the guy man! He is living off her!"
"May be not lah. May be she was just returning him a treat."
"Aiyah! Whether true or not, if I am the guy I sure very happy one."

I was quite hurt at those comments. I slipped out of the room quietly and went home. I asked myself why did I have to suffer such criticism behind my back. Didn't they understand that she wanted to pay the bill herself? Surely I could afford to pay half of it but since she will waste the money anyway, why worry?

Sally called that night and she was quite furious that I did not wait for her. I gave a lame excuse and hung up. I tried hard to forget what I heard that day.
The next day I decided to apologise to Sally. I sent her an e-mail saying I was sorry. I was quite confused as whether to carry on the relationship. I also began to wonder whether I was 'living off' my girlfriend and whether I really love her or her money.

Quite absentmindedly I talked to Lisa although I did not know if she was logged on. To my surprise she replied quite quickly.

"I am fine. How are you?" she asked.
"Sad. Very sad."
"How come? I thought you are happy with your new girlfriend?"
"That's the problem. It's the relationship that's the problem."
"Tell you what.... wait for me at the usual Central place half an hour later, I will join you."

I sent a second e-mail to Sally and asked her to go back herself. I took the internal shuttle bus to Central to see Lisa. This time it's a different kind of feeling. A feeling that was quite opposite of the last time I went to Central to see her.

"So what's your problem?" she asked.
"People think I am 'living off' my new girl."
"How did you know that?"
"I overheard yesterday. What they said was quite true too."
"What do you mean living off?"
"I mean she paid for all our expenses. I volunteered but she wanted to. She is quite rich actually. I did not think of that until those remarks I heard yesterday woke me up."

"Well, if both of you are sincere then it's ok. Don't give up so easily."
"The problem is that I myself don't know if I really like her or the money she spent on us. Tell me, what would you do?"
"Actually I am not much better. Roger's friends seem to think that I am with him for his money. I felt hurt too but I didn't care. I love him and he loves me. That's all I care."
"That's because both of you are quite sure of yourselves. For me, I am not quite sure. Since you left me, I have not been able to love another person as fully as I should. I have really lost my ability to love again. I really feel bad."

I did not mean to say those words but they just blurted out. Lisa was visibly shocked. She looked at me with teary eyes and then looked down onto the table again.
I clasped her hands in mine and said sorry softly,

"You don't have to be sorry. I am the one who should say sorry. I was the one who gave you so much trouble."

She only realised this too late. She took my hands and kissed them. She was still so sweet, so gentle. Her eyes spoke volumes of sorrows and regret. I really wanted to tell her to come back to me. I still love her. More than Sally.

Just then, I heard footsteps coming towards me. I looked at and saw Sally heading towards our position. Lisa pushed my hands from her lips and withdrew them but Sally saw it all. Tears welled up in her eyes as she stood there staring in disbelief.

"I tried to look for you when I received your first e-mail. I wanted to say that I accept your apology personally but when I located your whereabout, I saw you leaving the IBM room in a hurry. I followed. I suspected you are going to see Lisa. I was right."
I was quite shock by her revelation.
"I hid behind the book shelf and watched the two of you. I really don't mind if two of you just talk. But she kissed your hands..." she sobbed.
At this time we were attracting quite an attention. I felt uneasy. Lisa was embarrassed and regretted her action. Both of us sat there feeling remorseful and guilty. Both of us did not say any word.
"Min, do you love her or do you love me?" Sally asked painfully.
"I..." I did not know how to reply. On one hand I was afraid to disappoint Sally. On the other hand I wanted to use the situation to tell Lisa that I still love her sincerely.
Sally stood there expecting a reply. I just stared at the table. Lisa was looking at me, half afraid of the reply. I knew she would want me to go back to Sally but I wanted to tell her I love her.
Sally closed her eyes and said, "I know your reply. I know. I can only say that I was wrong about your feelings. I was wrong in my judgement. I was just too hopeful."
She tried to stop her sobbings but failed. "Min, I love you but you love her right?" she asked. She tried to fake a smile but it was futile. "Why am I still standing here? I... I got to go." she said tearfully and ran upstairs.
Lisa was quite shocked. She looked at me again.
"Min, I really don't know what to say to you. I am sorry for what I did. I shouldn't have."
She need not say sorry. Her kiss was worth it in my eyes. I realised now that I love her much more than Sally. But then, will it help? It was too late anyway.
Just then Roger came along. He was more controlled than before. He saw us and walked over. He still look as good as before.
"Am I disturbing both of you? Hey, how come there are people looking at both of you?"
"No. Min had some problems that we were trying to solve."
"Oh! I just wanted to remind Lisa that the show will start soon and we must hurry."
"Min, I think need to go now. I am sorry. Talk to me again if you have any problem that I can help. See you."
Roger wanted to hold her hand but she withdrew hers. I stared at their images as they walked up the staircase.
I did not know how long I stared at the staircase. I only found myself weeping silently sometime later. It was quite unbelievable. At one moment I was with two girls whom I like very much. The next moment both of them left me. It was a strange feeling.
Strange thoughts began to cross my mind. Perhaps I was meant to be single. Perhaps I was meant to have only temporary girlfriends only. Perhaps all girls are not meant to stay long with me. Perhaps.
Life was back to 'normal'. It was a silent and uneventful Christmas week for me. A friend had tried to ask me to go to his Church but I was too sad even to consider. I only wanted to spend some time alone, sorting out my thoughts and feelings. It was a difficult week to pass through. I wanted to call Lisa, but I knew she had better company. I wanted to call Sally too, but I supposed she did not want to talk to me, at least for that week.
Many people had New Year resolutions. So had I. But will it ever come true? Will it be realised? I prayed silently that it will.
When term resumes in the new year, I was even more miserable. It was very sad to see Lisa so happy without me. It was even harder when I saw Sally sad and sorrowful. She seemed to be avoiding me. I felt so close to them, yet so far. Just too far to even talk.
I decided to call her after the first week. She picked up the call herself.
"To what do I owe this honour?" she said curtly.
"Why do you say this? Can't I just call?"
"I do not wish to talk to you or anything about this. Please don't call me."
"Wait... I really want to say I was sorry. Yes I really do like Lisa but that doesn't mean I don't like you."
"So?"
"Nothing. I also want to tell you that I was very sad at that time so Lisa consoled me. We talked about our relationship. About some problems I was facing."
"Problems? What problems? Please explain."
"I was confused as to whether I like you or your money. I hate to like you for your money but that could be true. But I must say I was very happy with you."
"Huh? Why don't you tell me this? Why can't you discuss this with me before you discuss with her? Am I second in your eyes?"
"No... it's just that I find that I am better in relating my problems to her. I think she understands me a lot. I just wanted to discuss our problems with her."
"So what? Does she have to kiss your hands?"
"Why are you so possessive?"
"Possessive? Would any girl like another girl to hold her boyfriend's hand, let alone kiss it?"
"She and me were very close once."
"But that does not give you any reason to do that. If you really love only me, then you would not allow that to happen."

She was right. I love Lisa too. And I know she still have some affection for me. It's just that she loves Roger more than me. The conversation did not last more than ten minutes. I have explained to Sally what happened. I did not expect her to come back. Perhaps I really like her, not love her.

I was miserable for a long time. Life was just so boring. Somehow I did not miss Sally, but I kept thinking of Lisa. Somehow I just hoped that Lisa would know that someone is thinking of her every hour, every minute. Would the heaven tell her please? She ought to know how I felt for her. But then it was no use. She was happy the way she was.

The examinations were approaching fast. I found it quite hard to concentrate on my studies. Ken tried to help me too but each time I would decline his help. I just wanted to spend my time alone. I would daydream of my own princess whom I will meet someday and we would livr happily ever after. It was very silly but that's better than reality. It was only in my dream that I had someone I loved and someone who loved me too. Reality is always harder to take, harder to accept. It is also harsher and cruel. Somehow I learnt to believe only in dreams and learnt not to trust reality.

I focused my attention on my studies and my dream. The examinations came quickly and passed even quicker. It was not before long that I found myself with so much extra time. I did not need to go back to serve my remaining time in the army like some of my poor classmates. I had a lot of time to myself. Too much in fact. However, the extra time also began to make me feel very lonely. My mind began to work out of control again. Images of Lisa and Sally came aflashing. I felt so bad and was unable to concentrate on anything I do. Luckily it was after the examinations or else I would be in trouble.
I tried to get my mind off from such BGR things by looking for a job. I looked up the newspaper and found a job as a part-time tutor in a famous overseas educational centre. I taught O-level maths and physics.
Life began to get better as my mind was off from BGR problems. I taught 5 times a week to 3 classes. It was only at night and I got to have the day free. During the day I would either stay at home or go out with Ken and his girlfriend occasionally. Life was slowly getting better.
One day I reached the centre earlier than usual. The staff who worked during the day had not gone off work yet. I noticed a particular attractive girl. She has long hair and an almond shape face. Her eyes were quite beautiful. Her skin is fair and shiny. Her legs are long and slender. She looks quite good.
I approached her and sat at the customer chair. She saw me and started to speak to me.
"Interested in signing for a course?" she asked.
"Ehh...yes."
"What level are you in?"
"O-level."
She stared at me for a while. She must be thinking that I was too old to be an O-level student.
"What subjects are you interested to be tutored on?"
"Ehh..A Maths and E Maths."
"Sorry. The classes are full already. What about other subjects like Physics and Geography?"
"Physics please."
"Your name please?"
I told her my name, She looked at me with furrowed eyebrows. She stood up and went over to a filing cabinet and took out a file labelled 'Employee Particulars'. She flipped through and then stopped. She looked at me angrily and walked back to the reception desk.
"Are you trying to be funny? You are an employee aren't you?"
"Well, I am. I only want to talk to you."
She was furious when she heard this. She looked at me sternly and said,
"You want me to complain to the manager?"
I was startled. I did not expect her to be so fierce. I apologised to her and left for my lesson quickly, full of embarrassment.
The next day I went early like the day before. I wanted to catch a glimpse of her and perhaps to say sorry again.
She was there at her reception desk as usual. I sat down in front of her.
"Want to take up tuition again?" she asked naughtily.
"Well, this time is different. Now I want to ask give you an apology and I want to treat you to dinner or supper."
She smiled and replied "You have already said sorry yesterday. No, I do not go out with strangers. I am very sorry."
She looked so sweet when she smiled again. She was being diplomatic but then her smile was great. Somehow her reaction was quite different from yesterday.
"You can read my particulars from the employees file if you want. Then we would not be strangers right?" I asked cheekily.
She gave a half-smile and said "No. Thank you very much. I am very flattered. Perhaps some other time.". Her body language gestured me to get lost.
I got up from the chair with a bruised ego. She was so nice. She declined me with style though not so gently. I like her style.
I went ahead with my teaching. When lessons were over at nine p.m., I bade the students goodbye and packed up my stuff. When I pass the reception, I noticed her sitting there. I walked over to the waiting area.
"Hi, aren't you going back?" I asked.
"I am waiting for you."
I was quite pleasantly surprised. "Do I have the honour to send you back?"
She smiled sweetly and we left the place together. I learnt that she really looked at my particulars and was satisfied that I come from a 'clean' background.
"So is this your permanent job?" I asked her.
"No. Like you I am waiting for my first year accountancy results."
"Oh, then we are on the same boat right?"
She smiled. We walked passed a hawker centre which was still bustling with life and vigour. The place was famous for many local food.
"Hey, want to have supper or late dinner?" I asked.
"I had my dinner. Supper will do."
I treated her to one of the local delicacies. We talked on a wide range of topics and discussed many 'issues' at great length. I learnt that her father was deceased and her mother was supporting two children. Her elder brother is in Engineering in NUS. She needed to earn her own pocket money herself. She also had to pay part of her own NTU tuition fees. That was why she was working then. Quite a remarkable girl.
"Have you had any boyfriend?"
"Yes. Some time ago. We broke off one year ago."
"Oh I am sorry."
I was curious why they broke off. I asked her,
"Who initiated it?"
"Him." she said matter-of-factly.
"You are quite beautiful and nice too. Why did he want to break off with you?"
"I don't know. Ask him lor."
I liked her reply. Perhaps she did not want to reply me. Perhaps the guy really dumped her for another girl, just like Lisa during her first relationship. Perhaps it was she who left him.
After supper I volunteered to send her back. She agreed. We took a bus to her place. I also insisted to send her right to her door-step.
"Well, we have reached my door. Thank you for you treat."
"You are very welcome. I hope we can get together again. Can we?"
She did not say anything. She just smiled and opened her door and went inside. Before she closed the door she whispered,
"Tomorrow same time, same place. My treat. See you."
WE went out a few times after my lessons. We got to know each other quite well. I learnt that Yve did not want to commit herself to another relationship. I also found out that my liking for her was quite superficial. It was a crush only. She was like a good colleague to me. A good confidant. A good friend. A very good friend indeed as I learnt later on.
We would talk about our own experiences in love. I told her about Lisa and Sally. She told me about her weakness. She said that one failure was enough for her. She did not want to experience another.
"Why are you so afraid to try again?"
"Because I do not want to fail again."
She was quite stubborn. She just refused to change. I tried to tell her not to shut herself out of this world.
"But if you don't try, you will never succeed!"
"But if I do not try, I will never fail!" she snapped back quickly. Her eyes glaring at me. They were quite fierce and they burned deep into mine.
"You are stubborn and hot-tempered." I retorted.
I waited for her to cool down a bit before asking her "How did you know him?"
"Who? Him?"
I nodded my head. I was really curious about him and her relationship.
"He was my JC classmate. We went steady in our JC first year. We were quite immature then. We believed in all the things that romance will bring when we don't even know what love is. Such were the days then. He was good to me. One day in the middle of our second year, a friend saw him going out with another girl. I questioned him about it and he admitted it. He lied to me earlier that he was going for his ECA. I forgave him. I was quite foolish to let him go like that."
Sometimes wisdom eludes me. I just do not understand why the guy would want to cheat her when I find her so wonderful and perfect.
"We went on as nothing happened. Then one day nearing the prelims, I discovered that he went out with the girl again. This time it was to a park near our JC. When I confronted him again, he said that the girl needed someone to help her in her school work as the exams were near. I was furious. I mean, she could have asked other guys for help, why must she ask him to help? I told him that we were finished and that he had used his only chance. We did not talk for many days after that."
I could see the tears forming in her eyes as she related the story. I pitied her for being cheated the second time.
"Just after the prelims, he asked me out. He said he wanted to give me back my things. I thought it was true and I agreed to meet him. We met at the park near our school and there he pleaded me to go back to him. He said 'I really can't live without you. I promise not to see her again'. At first I was not taken by his pleas. Then he went over to the middle of the road and stood at the bend. He said that unless I agree, he would not come back to the pavement. I thought he was joking. Just then, a truck really came by quite fast. I shouted to him to jump aside but he was too shocked to react. Luckily the truck managed to stopped in time and only knocked him gently. He was quite shaken. I was so touched by his sincerity to change that I forgave him immediately.
"We continued to be together as before and even grew closer after the 'A' levels. We indulged in light pettings occasionally. Shortly he was due for enlistment. After his enlistment, I found work as a temporary relief teacher.
"Every weekend we would go out. Times were quite good. Until after his posting to the NCO school. He would come back home and refuse to go out with me, saying that he was very tired. Sometimes I would go over to his house to see him. We would talk about his 'punishment' during training and about his unreasonable instructors. I would also help him to pack his 'barang barang' for his next book-in. Life was quite okay. Then one day..."
She was really sobbing now. When I first knew her she was a fierce and 'strong' type of woman. But now under such emotional strain she just broke down. Girls are still girls after all.
"One day I couldn't get through to him. I thought his phone is damaged so I went over to visit him unannounced. I was at the foot of his block when I saw that girl with him again. I was so angry. I ran over and stopped them right in their tracks. Both of them were quite shocked to see me.
"She winced when she saw me raising my hand to slap him. He just stood there without moving. Then she said smugly, 'David do not want you because you are too hot tempered. You are just not feminine enough. You cannot give him what I can. You are not fit to be his girlfriend.'
"I was so angry that I slapped her as well. She looked so shocked and then she broke down and cried. David slapped me back in retaliation. I was so humiliated, angry and sad. I stood there and cried too. No one has ever slapped me before. David stood there and looked at both of us. Both of us were crying. But he eventually went to her and pacified her, holding her in his arms. I felt so neglected, so unwanted and so unloved. I ran away from the place, from both of them. It was quite obvious that he has chosen her over me. From then on, I've never heard from David or her again, even until now.
"If he wanted to leave me because he did not like my temper, he could have told me. I could have changed. I am still thinking of what that girl said when she said that I cannot give him something that she could. I just don't know the real reason why he left me for her."
So that was how she broke of with her boyfriend. She was quite right when she said that she did not know why her ex-boyfriend wanted to 'leave' her by going out with the second girl because she still cannot control her own temper. She also did not know that her temper can really make her lose out in this world. She is also quite an independent person, a threat to some guys.
"I tried to change myself as much as I can but it was too hard. I wanted to learn how to tolerate others. I tried hard. The other day when you came over and played a prank on me, I was quite angry. The next day I tried to show you that I had 'forgiven' you by accepting you treat. Please don't be angry. I think I have lost my first boyfriend this way. Believe me, I really want to change but...."
It was quite sad to see her crying. I did not know how to console her. I am not good with words. I just held her in my arms. She said later that she wanted to learn how to control her temper to keep her relationship in control.
There was once when we went to a hawker centre after lesson. She asked me more about Lisa. I told her how we met and why we were not together. I also told her about Roger.
"So she preferred you to Roger?" she asked.
"Must be. If not she would be with me."
"You have not really shown or showered her with concern. Roger did. Roger is willing to hunger himself for her and willing to change for her. Will you?"
That question really stumped me. I have never thought of that. I searched my mind and could not find any thing 'sacrificial' that I did for Lisa that I can boast about. I only realised this too late.
"If you really love her, then you should not mind her past mistakes. You should forgive her. You should even sacrifice your precious time and efforts for her. You had been too stubborn. When you decided to put everything on hold, she must really felt unwanted and hunger for love. She hoped you would say yes but you did not."
"How would you know?" I asked. I was half-regretting what I did not do then.
"Min, I am a girl. I understand how a girl feel. You... you are quite insensitive. You should have said yes if you really love her then."
I regretted my action. I only realised that I really love her later but of course, all was too late then. And of course, there is no hope now.
"Roger came along and filled the void. Lisa is human too. As you said, she the emotional and passionate type. Someone who gives easily and receives easily. Such people are easy prey for others who make use of them."
I nodded in agreement.
"She needs love, care and concern during that period. Roger came along and showed her he is sincere and she accepted it. You were just too slow in actions and in realising your true feelings."
I looked at Yve's eyes. They were sincere and true. I was grateful for her lesson in love but it was all too late.
"You can forget about everthing now and start over a new leaf. Find a new person if you want."
"No, not now. Lisa is still very much alive in me. I still love her."
"If I could do it all over again I would change history. I really would. I still love her." I thought to myself.
The first year results were released. She did quite well. Ken passed well. I had a re-paper. I was actually quite happy considering my state of mental condition and the amount of work I put in. We went to a Japanese restaurant to celebrate. It was quite expensive but we had earn ourselves a tidy sum and also this occasion really called for a celebration.
Just when we were about to eat, I saw Roger coming into the restaurant with Lisa tailing behind. Lisa saw me but Roger did not. We smiled at each other when they passed the sector where we were seated. They found themselves a place at another corner of the restaurant.
I observed them but I did not tell Yve. I saw them talking with animated gestures. Lisa seemed to be angry with him but Roger did not seem to care. At one point Lisa stood up and Roger motioned her to sit down fiercely. She obeyed and seemed to be sobbing inside her.
I continued talking to Yve about how I intend to spend the rest of my holiday. I told her I would spend my second last week in Indonesia with Ken.
Suddenly I heard Lisa shouting "Then why do you lie to me again?". A few of those patrons of the restaurants looked at them for a while. Roger was embarrassed and he said something to Lisa, perhaps trying to cool her down. They talked for a while.
"You liar! You liar! You said that the last time. I would not believe you again. And I am going to leave you! You hear me? I am going to leave you and you are going to regret this." Lisa shouted again.
This time Roger stood up and left the table without even saying a word to Lisa. He was quite embarrassed. She was left crying alone behind at the table. It was quite a scene.
I looked at Yve and told her "Yve, that's Lisa over there. I think Roger and her had quarreled. Roger left already and Lisa is crying. I am going over to take a look."
"I'll come along."
We walked over to her table, ignoring all those curious stares around us.
"Lisa, what happened?" I asked.
She looked up and shook her head.
"Tell me. Tell me what happened. Did Roger make you angry?" I asked.
She nodded her head. Amidst her sobbings she said "He is seeing the rich girl again. I asked him to stop but he refused. He said it was only once but I actually had friends who saw them together a few times. He even said that it was his and the rich girl's business, not mine and that he is at liberty to do anything he likes."
Yve touched my hand and whispered "Now is your chance Min. Take it." I took her cue and sat down beside Lisa. Yve was still standing beside us.
"Lisa, please don't cry. When you cry you make someone who still loves you very sad too."
Her sobbings reduced to sniffings immediately. She looked up at me with her wet eyes. They were even more beautiful this way. Those sparkling and penetrating eyes.
"You... I don't understand what you mean." she said weakly, trying to think clearly.
"Lisa, listen. After you left me, my heart almost went with you until Sally came along. She filled the void that you created. But still, I could not forget you. I still thiought of you and that day when I wanted to discuss my relationship with Sally, she saw us and as you know, she wanted me to choose between you and her. I chose you. I have always loved you. I am bad in expressing my feelings and I want you to know now that I love you."
At this moment she seemed to sober herself. She wiped her eyes dry and looked into my eyes. I fixed my gaze on her too. After a while she looked down. I was quite lost at what to say.
"Min, please excuse both of us. I want to have a talk with Lisa." Yve said.
I did not know what Yve wanted to say to Lisa but I went back to my table and sat there, eating the already cold food.
I spied Lisa shaking her head a few times and Yve did most of the talking. Finally Yve came over and said "Min, I've tried my best. Go over to her now."
"What did both of you talk about?"
"Ask her. Go now. I'll be waiting here."
I went over quickly. Lisa did not want to look at me in the eyes. She seemed to be avoiding eye contact. She had become shy again.
"Lisa, what did Yve say?"
"She... she told me about your true feelings towards me. I am quite grateful for that. I appreciate that. Thank you. She also asked me to consider loving you again. I..."
I was grateful to Yve too for communicating my feelings and helping me. I just hoped Lisa would just say yes. I prayed silently inside me.
"I don't know what to do. Please give me some time. I need to think this all over again. I really need to. I am quite confused."
"Ok, I will wait for your reply. But remember this Lisa, I have never cheated you and my feelings for you did not change since the first day we met. It had waned a little here when you left but it is getting stronger and stronger. My heart will always follow you wherever you go. You know that."
"I... I know. But..." she cut herself short.
We sent her back that night. Lisa was quite weak physically and emotionally. Yve supported her most of the time. I did not dare to hold her because I know if I did I would not let go.
The next day one of Lisa's friends called me.
"Min, Lisa tried to commit suicide. She had an over dosage of sleeping pills. The doctors are trying to cleanse her stomach in GH now. Hurry!"
I took a cab. It was eleven p.m. When I reached there, I saw her parents and little sister with her friend who called me outside an emergency room. They looked worried. I went over and joined them. I was very frightened that the worst would happen. I prayed silently to the heavens to save her. She was just a victim of love. Oh... please don't let her die.
After half an hour, a few hospital staff came out. One of them spoke to us.
"There is nothing to worry now. She is fine but quite weak. We had cleansed and flushed her stomach and removed the toxins already. By the way, who gave her those sleeping pills?"
"They are actually my wife's. Her doctor prescribed them to her when she complained of insomnia." Lisa's father replied.
"I see. Anyway, there is nothing to worry. She will have to stay in the hospital for a few days to be observed. After that she can go home."
We were all so relieved. I advised Lisa's parents and friend to go back home. Her parents were old and were quite tired.
I walked by the side when the nurse pushed Lisa's roller bed to a ward. The nurse told me that I could go back too but I preferred to stay. I sat beside her. She was still unconscious. I just wanted to stay a little while longer with her. Just in case she needed someone there. Just in case I might never get to see her again if such things were to happen again. I realised how precious time with another person you love is while we are still alive.
A policeman came shortly. He was directed by the nurse to Lisa's bed.
"Is this the girl who tried to commit suicide?"
"Yes, but she is sleeping now. Can I help you?"
"I need to take a statement. What is your relation to this girl?"
"I..." I pondered for a while. I had suddenly forgotten what my relation to her was. At the same time I did not want to make a fool of myself in front of the policeman.
"I am her good friend." I replied.
"I see. Can you tell me exactly what you know about the facts of this case? Wait... your name first, please?"
After giving my statement, I stayed on. I spent the night with Lisa. She slept quite peacefully, except that she woke up once and asked for water. I gave it to her and she went back to sleep immediately. The duty nurse there was quite relieved that she had one less patient to take care of.
The next day Lisa woke up at ten a.m. She looked a bit tired but after the nurse brought her to wash up, her face looked radiant again.
"The nurse told me you stayed here whole night." she said slowly and weakly.
"Yes. I just wanted to be with you."
She was silent for a while. She looked out of the window and stared at the buildings faraway. Suddenly she broke down and cried.
"Lisa, cry your heart out. I won't stop you. If you want to tell me anything, just say. I am here for you."
She sobbed louder. I sat on her bed and held her in my arms. She cried for quite some time. When her crying reduced to sobbing, I asked,
"Why did you do such a silly thing?"
"I just don't know. I just hate myself for being so naive to fall for him again. He cheated me again. I just hate myself for being so worthless and stupid. I hate myself. I lost confidence in everything because it seems that my love life is always in a mess. I just wanted to die and let go of everything."
"No. You should not say that. Do you know if you leave there would be many people who will be very sad? Think about how your parents will react. Think about who will take care of them. Think about your little sister. Who is going to guide her?"
"I don't know."
"But most of all Lisa. If you leave, someone will be very sad because he loves you very much. Don't you see? Without Roger, you will still have me! And why do you make those who love you so much so sad? Your parents love you, and I love you too, very much."
"Isn't it too late that I know now?"
"No Lisa. We can start all over again."
"I... I need time to think over again. I can't answer you right now. I need to think carefully this time."
"I know. I also hope you don't foul up your next relationship. Whether with me or not. I will wait for you reply."
I don't know if what I said was correct. She started sobbing again. After a while, she stopped. She kept quiet for a long time. A short while later, her parents came to visit her.
I had stopped my teaching temporary to be with her. Lisa also had a re-paper in a CS subject. We revised together in the hospital initially until she became fit enough to leave the place. I went to her place to continue our preparation for our re-paper. Ken came to help once in a while. After every 'revision' day, I would stay for dinner. I think I had built a good rapport with her parents.
Roger did not call her again. Perhaps Roger had made used of that night as a reason to dump her again. Yve was very supportive. She encouraged me and taught me how to win Lisa heart again, only this time it was harder.
The supplementary examinations came and went. We went out many times after our re-papers. The four of us: Ken, Yve, Lisa and me. Each time we went out, I would be extra careful not to see her directly into her eyes or touch her. Ken and Yve noticed that too but they did not tease me about it. They understood me. They are wonderful friends.
The supplementary examination results were released just before the new academic year. Both of us passed. We went out to celebrate that very day, the three of us and Ken of course. That day also coincided with Lisa's twentieth birthday. Ken and Yve had specially arranged a bowling session in Marina South for the four of us.
It was first time bowling for all of us other than Ken, the playful one. I saw a jukebox machine there. I dedicated the song 'Nothing is going to change my love for you' to Lisa, with Ken's and Yve's support of course. I even sang along with the song to Lisa. She was quite touched and happy.
Later in the evening we went to a Korean restaurant for a seafood buffet dinner. The food was okay and we had a great time. After dinner Ken took out a cake. I brought out my present too. It was a hand-made card and a framed-up sketch of her that I had drawn. She was a bit shocked to see it.
"I am really impressed Min. It's not exactly like me but I like it very much. Thank you."
After she said this, I gave her a bouquet of 20 pink roses in full bloom. She looked at me sweetly and said, "This is the first time you gave me flowers."
It was quite remarkable how she remembered when did someone do what. I did not know how she did it but I guess she treasured every happy moment she had and remembered them.
Ken and Yve arranged for the cake to be brought there by another friend. The friend came and joined us for dinner. That night, after cutting the cake Lisa made a wish. Ken asked her what her wish was but she shyed away. Upon further prodding by Yve, she said,
"I wish Min and I can start all over again."
I was so happy. It was quite hard to believe that she had agreed to give our relationship another try. Finally she had agreed.
Ken and Yve gave her a present each. Suddenly an idea struck my mind.

"Lisa, I have one more thing for you."
"Oh... what is it?"
She looked around, trying to find what I had for her.
"What I have is what money cannot buy. For this twentieth birthday of yours, I am giving you my heart and myself. Do you want it?"

I see a role reversal here. It was her who asked me that question barely nine months ago.
She smiled sweetly and gave me a hug and a kiss. That was the first time I touched her after so long. It was really a 'warmth' one. I will remember every moment of it.
Ken, Yve and the friend who sent the cake went back in that friend's car, deliberately leaving us behind. I appreciated that very much.

Like two new lovers, we walked clumsily to the bus-stop. I would seize any opportunity to hold her hand and she would withdraw hers after the 'obstacles' were cleared. Like new lovers who do not know what to do, we stumbled with words and actions. It was like falling in love all over again.

When second year started, we went out to the hop and jams as like last year. This time it's the three of us. Ken, Lisa and me. Yve had gone back to NTU.
Second year was busier than first year. There were more projects and most of our time were spent on tutorial and projects. We were quite busy but we still took time out to see shows and stroll in the parks, just Lisa and me.

One day in October we went to our usual weekend haunt and I asked Lisa, "Lisa, how much do you love me?"
She was surprised at the question. She thought for a while and replied.

"When I first fell in love, it was with Roger. He left me for another 'better' person. I do not know how he measured better. But he thought he would be better with her. I see that he is someone who goes to where he thinks is better for him, quite selfish.
"The second one is the mugger I told you about. We could actually strike it off but he left me after he knew I cheated him. I guessed he must be pretty angry with me. I really have nothing against against him at all. It was me who fouled up everything.

"The third one sacrificed so much for me. He cared a lot for me too. But he died in his foolishness I think. I owed him and his family a lot. He was the only son you know. I can never forget him.
"The last one was you. You are the only one who I like right from the beginning. For the others, I sort of grew to learn to love them over a period of time. You are different. And all of them left me. But you are the one whom I left. Yet you still wanted to come back to me after a year. I was touched. You have shown me your love to be true and persistent, and I have known you better. More importantly, I find myself falling in love with you again. This time it's stronger and more assured. I am more confident of myself now. It is also you that I missed the most when I was not with you. Do you know?

"Also, when I was with you, I did not think of the other guys at all. Only the one who died for me but I guess that was because of guilt. When Roger came to me again, I was happy. But I guess that was because I thought I had found a lost love again. And at that time, I was so sad that you said you wanted to wait. Do you know that I was very sad that you said that?"
I winced at her words. They pierced me right through my heart. I regreted what I did not do then.

"Anyway, Roger did treat me well at first. But he sort of became overly possessive and selfish later. Do you know that once he did not turn up at an appointment because one of his friends delayed him at the earlier appointment? He could have called me since he was picking me up but then he did not. I mean, if he could do that once, he could also do that again sometime later. He put his other friends before me and also he did not allow me to see some of my friends whenever our appointments clashed.

"The last straw came when I found out he cheated me again, the second time. You know what happened after that. He made me leave him because he wanted to leave me.
"In all those previous relationships, it was them who left me. I did not leave any of them except you. I was one who is quite contented to be loved.

"But for you, it is different. It is only after so long, almost a year for me to see that your love for me is true. That there is an assurance that you will stay with me in the long run. The chemistry bewteen us is strong. Tell me, won't you be happy? Won't you love someone who cares so much for you? Won't you love someone who has sacrificed so much for you? Won't you love someone who loves you so much?"

"Yes I will. Very much."
"Tell me, how much you love me?"
"How much? I have waited for a long time for you to come back to me. I have been through many things that teach me how to love. And I did things that only true love will do."
I stared at him. I know that this time, he has found his real love, and I mine, because in his eyes, I see true love.
The End.
Epilogue'HER stories' are separate true incidents woven into a single story and viewed through the eyes of the character Min.
The time frame, place and names had been changed. In fact, I, the author, is only one of the character. I am also the only one who is from Comp. Sc. The others are not from Comp Sc. All the computer talk occurred actually took place on the IBM VM, not VAX.
During the short almost two years, we all learnt many lessons in love. Many mistakes were made. Many wrong turns taken. All of us had matured a little. Each of us.
Min was never sure of himself and confused too. He also has a heart that fancies too easily, until he realised who he really loves. Lisa was too contented to be loved and easily made use of. She yielded many times too. Sally was, perhaps the only one who fought for what she likes but did not get it. Ken is a good friend to the very end (now). He is constantly by Min's side. Yve needs to learn how to control herself before she can control a relationship. Yve was a very good friend too. Roger is selfish and cared only for himself. He is also an unfaithful lover. David, is also an unfaithful lover but he had reasons to leave Yve. The second boyfriend of Lisa gave up too easily. He could have persevered and gone through the hardship and ignored all the rumours. The third one is a bit immature and had a sad ending.
Some found their true love after many mistakes. Some never. It was hard to go through all these sad moments. But it was worth it. It was worth to see and know one's true love in the end though there is still a long road ahead. But some just live on, profiting from their selfish actions.
As Aaron had pointed out, there no need for me to clarify the intent of this writing. There is also no need for me to convince anyone the credibility of the story as a whole. There is also no need for me to identify myself. However, I find that to enjoy reading and understand 'Her stories' fully, it would be advisable to include this epilogue, though a premature explanation had to been given earlier. I am really grateful for the patience of you the readers.
This story was written because I find that many things can be learnt and it makes good reading. The comments I received were instructive. Facts and fiction had been interwoven to make the events flow.

Lastly, I hope you have enjoyed reading them as much as I had in writing them. Let those who appreciate this story as a whole learn, and those who criticise it enjoy.
Author of 'Her stories'

Through his eyesI tell my stories.

In his eyes

I see true love.

[The End]

What I did for Love ~ by Val

2007-09-13T14:06:00.000+08:00

Part 1

June 17, 1999

My name is Mina Nam. I’m 19, still very young, but I am dying. Not right now but my life is slowly fading away as I’m writing my story. At this moment I’m sitting at ‘our’ spot. Mine and Eun Ji Won, the love of my life.
The sun is slowly beginning to set over the lake. I took a glance at my reflection in the water. My outside looks have changed drastically within the past few months, but the water reflected the true me. Inside I’m still the same person.
I have done and given so much for love but never once, have I received it back from Ji Won. There are times that I wanted to tell him everything that I’ve done for him and make him love me back. But I can’t.
Love is not selfish.
So I did what felt right. I keep giving Ji Won my love and I never asked for his love in return. Even though I’ll leave this world pretty soon, my love for him will still remain. My story begins when I first met Ji Won six years ago on this one fateful day. It all started out…

Part 2
October 31, 1993

You better come back here you good for nothing brat!”
I covered my ears with my palms. That was my stepmother calling me. Her voice sounds murderous and I didn’t want to face her today. She had slapped and hit me too much already. I’m afraid I can’t take it anymore so I hid in my closet.
I peeked through the crack in my closet and saw my stepmom with a really pissed off look on her face. She was holding that stick that I’m always afraid of. I winced thinking about how much it would hurt if she hits me with it again.
I’m just thirteen and whoever said 13 was an unlucky number, they were right. My mom had died when I was just turning ten. Before she died she told me that I was the most beautiful girl in the world and how proud she was to be my mother. She said even though she’ll be gone, her love remains with me always.
Tears rolled down my cheeks. ‘If you love me mommy, how can you be so selfish to leave me?’ So now when I had turn 13 my dad had married Mok Young A, who is my stepmom today. She was a cold-hearted woman who tortured me all day. Any self-esteem I had for myself was shattered and I was living a nightmare.
My closet door suddenly opened.

“There you are you wicked girl!”
My stepmom started cussing at me as she pulled me out and threw me onto the floor. I began to tremble because I knew what was going to happen next.
*Whack whack whack.*
I cried out in pain but I knew that no one is going to hear my cries. I desperately began to gasp for air. My heart was aching again. I couldn’t breathe.
“Not again! Don’t you see how much you’re costing your father and me with your heart problems? If it wasn’t for all these medical bills we wouldn’t be so poor now!”
I had this heart condition where air would suddenly shut off and I couldn’t breathe. The doctors are trying to save me by giving me a respirator and pills, but they’re not sure how much longer I’ll be able to live. My dad (who was a pathetic excuse for a man) came in.
He looked down at me with sorrowful eyes. He held my stepmom’s arm lightly and said, “I think she had enough. You don’t want her to have another attack. Calm down and let’s have dinner.”
“That’s why I’m hitting her!” she yelled. “She got detention and stayed after school for an hour. She was supposed to be home to go buy food for dinner and make it. Your daughter is so evil. She wants me to starve or something!”
“I didn’t get detention. The teacher wanted to talk to me about—“
But I was cut off by the whack of my stepmom’s stick. I cried silently in pain and turned away. I didn’t want to look at her.
My dad said, “Well, dinner’s just going to be a little late today. Mina, say sorry to your mom.”
Despite the pain, I managed to say, “Sorry mom. Please forgive me.”
My dad handed me some money. “Here. Go buy food to make mee-yuk-gook tonight.” My stepmom’s temper simmered down a little as my dad lead her out of my room.
I picked up the money and headed for the store. Mr. Choi, the owner of Choi Food Market, shook his head as I walked in. He knew what kind of hell I was going through. I finished my shopping and checked out.
“That’ll be $3.49.”
“What?” I asked. “Umm…Mr. Choi. That’s impossible. With all this stuff it should be around $15.”
“I know Mina.” Mr. Choi gave me a sad smile. “The exact price is $14.32. Why don’t you keep the change for yourself?”
I opened my mouth in shock. “Mr. Choi…I..I can’t do that,” I said as I handed him 20.
He only took five. “No. Keep it. I know that stepmom of yours don’t give you any money.”
I looked up at Mr. Choi with tears in my eyes. Here he was, just a friend reaching out to me. I said thanks and headed for home.

Part 3
I decided to take a shortcut home but as I passed the alley, a hand pulled me in. I was knocked to the ground and a shadow hovered over me. I began to scream but the same hand covered my mouth.
“Shut up or I’ll kill you!”
I shut my mouth instantly. I didn’t want to die yet. In the moon’s reflection I got a good look of my attacker. It was a boy who looked a little bit older than me. His face and clothes were dirty but he had really good features so I could tell he was extremely good-looking. But this was not a time to think about such things.
He held a table knife at my throat and said, “Give me all your money or I’ll kill you.”
I panicked but I knew what to do. I used the move I wanted to use on my stepmom every time she pinned me down and hit me. I kicked him hard, right into his family jewels. He gasped and fell to the floor, dropping the knife. I picked up my groceries and ran.

I guess you can call me the dumbest person alive. I was afraid I had kicked the boy too hard and permanently damaged him. Besides, since my life is hell already, I didn’t want him to go through it too. So I turned back.
When I came back to the alley, the boy was still lying on the floor. He was moaning softly. I lifted him up gently. “Are you okay?” I asked. He shook his head no. “I’m sorry,” I said to him. I reached into my pocket and pulled the money Mr. Choi gave me. “If you need money, then here. All I have is ten dollars.”
I placed the money in his hand and walked away. He looked at me with this weird expression that I couldn’t read. I picked up my groceries and this time I left without turning back. I could tell the boy was watching me as I was walking away…

Part 4

Ji Won stared at the girl who had just walked away. She must be the nicest or dumbest person in this world,’ he thought.
He began to stand up but had to use the wall for balance. That girl had kicked him a little too hard. Ji Won had just run away from home again. He had run away so many times that the alley was his second home. When he ran away he always stole his parents’ money.
They were the richest people in all of Hawaii but they were also the most messed up family. His dad would have a lot of women with him and would betray a friend if it would bring him money. His mom, on the other hand, was an exact duplicate of his dad. She always had these young men around her and spent money like crazy. His parents were divorced and lived on opposite ends of Hawaii.
‘Bitch and bastard,’ thought Ji Won.
When he ran away this time, he didn’t have the chance to steal any money from his dad. So he had no choice but to rob somebody. When he saw the young girl walking out of the store, she seemed to be the perfect target. But things didn’t turn out as planned.
Ji Won kept wondering why the girl gave him the money even though he could have killed her. Ji Won knew he couldn’t take the money because she was the first person in his messed up life that was nice to him because she wanted to be, not because she wanted something from him. He wanted to give the money back.
When he gained some of his strength back, he began to chase her…

Part 5
When I came home, I was greeted by the usual words. ‘Ugly wretch, wicked girl, freeloader, etc.’ but luckily I made it through dinner fine. When dinner ended, my parents went to sleep leaving me with the dishes. I cleaned the table and washed the dishes.
I also took out the trash and then suddenly I felt someone grab me from behind. My attacker turned me around to face him. It was the same boy I met in the alley. I began to panic.
“I gave you all my money already! What more do you want from me?”
He raised a finger to his lips and tried to shush me. I felt one of my attacks coming on. I started to hyperventilate and couldn’t breathe. I was beginning to black out.
Ji Won looked at the girl who looked like she was going to die.
“Oh my God! Are you okay?”

This time it was the girl’s turn to shake her head no. Then she collapsed in his arms. Ji Won didn’t know what to do but he had to save her life. He began to give her mouth to mouth.
“Come on,” he whispered to her. “Breathe. Don’t die on me.”
After a while she began coughing and opened her eyes.
I opened my eyes and saw a blurry object heading towards me. Then I felt something soft pressing against my lips and I felt a gust of air. Then I realized the boy was giving me air. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I blushed and gently pushed him away.
“Thank you for saving me. I’m okay now.”
The boy turned slightly red. “Uhh…you’re welcome. You kinda scared me there.”
“Sorry about that. Well, what is it that you want from me?”
“Here.” He handed me back the same ten dollars I had given him. I looked up at him.
“No, it’s okay. Keep it. I think you need it or you wouldn’t have tried to rob me.”
He shook his head. “No. I just wanted to borrow it only. I don’t take charity. Well, goodbye.”
Just as he walked away, I heard his stomach grumble. I bit my tongue so I wouldn’t laugh. Since he didn’t take charity, I said, “Um, hey. I just made some food and I don’t know if it’s good or not. I need a guinea pig because I don’t want to serve it to my parents if it isn’t and besides, you did save my life.
Ji Won looked at her. ‘Why is she being so nice to me?’ he thought. He knew she was just saying that because she heard him say he doesn’t want charity. Ji Won’s stomach was growling like crazy. He hasn’t eaten for 2 days already and the mention of food was killing him.
“Uh, okay. I guess I’ll be your guinea pig since I have nothing to do.”
He studied her face as she smiled at him. ‘She’s pretty,’ he thought as he smiled back.

Part 6
I let the boy wait outside as I got some of the leftover mee-yuk-gook for him. He finished it in less than a minute. Then he leaned back and sighed. Out of nowhere, he let out a burp. I had to giggle. He looked at me and smiled.
“Sorry about that.”
“It’s okay.”
I hesitated before I asked him the next question. “Umm…so what’s your name?” He glanced at me and then stared at the ground. I could tell he was debating to tell me his real name or not. I didn’t want him to feel obligated to telling me his name. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
Ji Won looked at her surprised. “No! It isn’t that!” he yelled. She stared back at him surprised too. Then he lowered his voice. “I’m sorry. Please don’t misunderstand.”
She nodded her head slowly and Ji Won can tell that she was confused. Ji Won felt that he could trust her and he wanted her to be his friend.
“My name is Eun Ji Won and you are?”
“Nam Mi-Na, but call me Mina. It’s easier to remember.”
Then she gave him the sweetest smile. Ji Won felt his heart beat a little faster when she smiled at him. He blushed and looks away.
“So uh, how old are you?”
“13,” she replied. “And you Ji Wonee?”
He smiled when she called him that. “I’m 15,” he said turning back to look at her.
“15?” I asked in disbelief.
Ji Won nodded.
“Where are your parents oppa? You’re too young to be living in the streets.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I can take care of myself.” I gave him a doubting look because he was trying to pull that tough guy act on me. “It’s okay though,” he told me. “I have a family. It’s just that things are bad at home so I’m just getting away from it for a while.”
‘So he ran away,’ I figured out.
I could tell that Ji Won was a good person. “Do you have a place to stay tonight?” He shook his head. “How about staying in my room then,” I offered.

Ji Won couldn’t believe his ears. He stared at Mina. ‘Did she just offer him a place to stay?’
“Ji Won?” Mina asked as she waved a hand in front of his face. “Are you okay?”
Ji Won shook his head and snapped out of it. She placed her hand on his knee. “Oppa, I asked if you want to stay in my room for tonight?”
Ji Won was so touched that he felt his heartache. No one had ever cared about him so much but he didn’t want to feel as though he owed her. “No thanks.”
Mina looked at him with her big sad eyes. “Please oppa? I’m afraid of the dark.” Ji Won smiled. He knew she was lying so he would say yes. For the first time in his life, Ji Won felt warm inside because now he is wanted. He let out a sigh.
“Aigo Mina, okay. You talked me into it. But just for tonight though.”
She giggled and nodded.
“Okay.”

Part 7

Silently, I led Ji Won into my room. My room was small and luckily, it was far away from my parents so they can’t hear much. I let Ji Won have the bed while I take the floor. ‘Damn,’ I thought. ‘Why does the floor have to be so cold and hard?’
Ji Won stared down at Mina who was trying to sleep on the cold stone floor. He picked her up easily and lifted her onto the bed.
“Oppa? What are you doing?” I whispered as my eyes grew wide.
“Do you trust me?” he asked.
I nodded my head slowly.

“Good,” he said. “This bed is small but it’ll fit both of us.”
My eyes grew wider at what Ji Won had just said. But I had just told him that I trust him. I couldn’t take my words back so I had no choice but to sleep with him. We both got in my bed and slept side-by-side. I was so nervous, I couldn’t sleep. Ji Won, on the other hand, had no problem. He fell asleep instantly.
I turned my head over to look at him. His face was so innocent like an angel when he was sleeping. Who would have thought he was such a devil when he’s awake and moving?
An hour had passed and it was 3’ in the morning. I still couldn’t sleep. Suddenly something weird happen. Ji Won turned his entire body around and did a 360, kicking me.
“Ow!” I cried out but covered my mouth so my parents wouldn’t hear me. When he was done, he had this happy look on his face. At first I thought he was just playing with me but he really did do a 360 in his sleep. Suddenly he reached over and held me tight. My entire body went tense and rigid. I could feel Ji Won’s light breathing on my neck.
I don’t know why but now that Ji Won was this close (practically laying on top of me) made me feel better. It’s probably cause I’ve never been this close to a person in a long time. Soon I began to fall asleep too…

Part 8
November 1, 1993
Ji Won opened his eyes and found himself laying partially on Mina’s body. He blushed and slowly moved away from her. Then he just lay near her watching her sleep.
Suddenly it caught his eyes. The sleeves and pant legs of her pajamas were lifted up and he got a good look at her arms and legs. Dark purple bruises cover her entire body. There were several scars on her legs and arms too. Red lines run across her legs and it made Ji Won wince because it looked so painful.
He didn’t want to disturb Mina but he was really curious. She turned over and Ji Won lifted the back of her shirt. It was even worse than her legs. Ji Won opened his mouth lightly in shock and touched her bare back delicately, fearing that he might hurt her. Mina began to stir.
I rubbed my eyes and sat up. I saw Ji Won looking at me with this sad expression on his face. “What’s wrong oppa?” I asked.
“Who did this to you?”
Then he lifted the sleeve of my shirt. I opened my mouth in shock. I tried to hide it but I couldn’t believe he saw my bruises.
As I tried to answer him, I heard my stepmom’s footsteps heading towards my room. “Oppa!” I yelled, turning back to Ji Won, who was rubbing my bruises. “You have to get out of here! My mom is coming!”
Ji Won looked at me surprised but I opened my window for him to climb out. “Climb down this tree. Goodbye Ji Wonee,” I said to him with tears in my eyes.
Ji Won remained silent the whole time as he left her room. But he didn’t leave though. He sat on the branch of her tree and looked through her window. He couldn’t hear what Mina and her mom were talking about but he saw it.
He saw Mina’s mom bring out a small wooden stick and whack Mina with it several times. Ji Won couldn’t take it anymore. He busted back into Mina’s room.

Part 9
I looked up at my stepmother in pain. “I’m sorry mom. I didn’t know we’re supposed to have guests today.”
She glared at me with cold hatred in her eyes. “Mr. Eun, of the Eun Hotel Empire all over Hawaii, is coming to visit us. Your father might get a promotion if we make a good impression! You’re supposed to be awake half an hour ago to prepare all of us tea! Now Mr. Eun is down there expecting tea! What am I supposed to do now huh?”
My stepmom began to breathe rapidly as her anger increased. I saw her raise that stick of hers again. I curled myself up hoping the pain would lessen but I know it wouldn’t so I prepared myself for the strike…
Ji Won caught the stick just before it would hit Mina. Mina’s mother stared at Ji Won in surprise. Mina opened her eyes and stared at Ji Won in shock. He looked down at her.
“Mina, are you okay?”
“Ji Won!” I screamed. “What are you doing here?”
Ji Won looked back at me. “I came to save you from this evil bitch.”
My stepmom twisted her face in hate. “I knew you were trouble all this time Mina. How dare you bring this boy home? Wait until I tell your father about this!” Ji Won grabbed my stepmom’s arm to stop her.
“You do that and I’ll have you fired!”

I stared at Ji Won dumbfounded. ‘What is he talking about?’
“What are you talking about you juvenile delinquent?!” snapped my stepmom.
“I mean,” said Ji Won glaring at her. “That you’re having tea with my father right now and I’ll get you and your husband fired if you hit Mina one more time.”
I look at Ji Won surprised. ‘Ji Won is the heir of the Eun Hotel Empire? His family is the richest in all of Hawaii!’
My stepmom looked at Ji Won doubtfully. “If you’re his son, then how come you’re so filthy?”
Ji Won gave her a smirk. “I know you want proof. How about all of us go down there to talk to my dad?”
My stepmom looked at him and thought, ‘This is the only way for real evidence. He might get us a promotion.’ Then she said, “Come on then, boy. Let’s go.”

Part 10

All three of us came downstairs together. Ji Won had to help me down because my legs were too weak to support me. Ji Won helped me sit on the couch and he faced the strange man before me. Mr. Eun glared at Ji Won.

“Hi dad,” said Ji Won.

“Where the hell have you been Ji Won?” shouted Mr. Eun.

My family just watched them yell at each other. Ji Won shrugged his shoulders. “Around.” It made Mr. Eun really mad but he never hits Ji Won. He continued yelling. Ji Won didn’t really listen and after a while he cut his dad off.

“Look dad, shut up about it already and we’ll talk about it at home.”
‘Dang,’ I thought. ‘I could never talk to my parents like that.’
Mr. Eun shuts up. “Okay son, we’ll talk about it at home.”
Then Ji Won gestured his hand at my entire family. “The Nams were nice enough to let me stay at their house. You owe them dad.”

Mr. Eun nodded. “Fine. Joon and Young A, you two just got a raise.”
My stepmom got so excited. “Thank you Mr. Eun!”
“Come on Ji Won,” said Mr. Eun. “Let’s go home and have that talk.”

Ji Won brushed his dad’s hand ff his shoulder. “Later dad. I’ll be home in an hour.” His father glared at him. Ji Won glared back. “I said one hour.”

Mr. Eun knew Ji Won was stubborn. So he agreed. “Fine then. One hour.”After Mr. Eun left Ji Won talked to my parents. “Listen here,” he said as he sat down next to me. “I can get you hired and fired just like that.” And he snapped his fingers.

“We know, we know,” said my stepmom sweetly, pouring Ji Won some tea.

Ji Won didn’t drink it. “All I want is for you two to not touch Mina anymore. If I see another bruise on her, you know the consequences.” Ji Won held my hand the entire time he spoke with my parents. I felt a strange warmth going through me and I knew that right then and there I was falling in love with Eun Ji Won.

My dad remained quiet while my stepmother talked. “Of course Ji Won.”

Ji Won rolled his eyes. “Okay, and I’ll make sure you keep your promise.” Then Ji Won turned to face me. “Come on, let’s go.”

“What?” I asked confused.
“Go to my house with me.”
“Go go!” said my stepmom pushing me towards Ji Won. “Have fun kids and stay out as long as you like.” I knew my stepmom was really ticked off but she was playing it off pretty well.

Part 11

Ji Won continued holding my hand and never once did he let it go. The walk to his house took us 15 minutes and I was enjoying every minute of it. When we reached his house, Ji Won let out a sigh.

“Mina,” he said softly. “Just stay quiet and let me do the talking okay?”

I nodded my head and we entered his house. His house was huge! I felt as though I’m a peasant walking through a castle. He even had a few maids and butlers who attended us.

Ji Won led me to his room. It was nice and clean but there were a lot of holes all around his walls. I sat down on his bed as he went into the bathroom to take a quick shower. When he was done, he came out and sat next to me, holding my hand. I really am in love.

“Ji Won, how come your walls have a lot of holes?”

He shrugged his shoulders and I massaged it for him. As he relaxed, he answered me. “Oh, it’s cause I fight with my parents a lot so I take it out on the walls.” Judging by the holes, I can tell that he was really angry every time he made one.

“Come on,” he said. He lifted me up on his back and gave me a piggyback ride downstairs. He smelled so good now that he’s clean and fresh.

His dad was waiting for him in the den. I waited outside while Ji Won came into face his dad. Ji Won came in, uninterested in what his dad had to say. “What is it dad?”

“Ji Won, son…this is getting to be very tiring. Every few weeks you would run away, leaving me and your mother worrying about you.”

Ji Won smirked. “Sure you’re worried. That’s why you’re out with those hoes and mom’s out with those morons. It’s because I’m your only son. You’re just scared that when grandpa passes away he won’t put our family on the will.”

His father got angry. “Well do you want it to end up on your uncle’s side?” Ji Won gave his dad a look that showed he didn’t care. His dad continued talking. “Since I managed to have a son and my brother have no kids, I have the advantage. Son, listen to me. You know you’re my heir. All my wealth will be pass down to you.”

Ji Won looked at his dad disgusted. “All you care about is money! You don’t care about me!” he yelled as he stormed out of the den. Ji Won slammed the door open and grabbed my hand.“Come on, let’s go.”

Part 12

I was confused and didn’t know what had happened. Ji Won held my hand and took me to the beach near his house. On the sand there were these 2 huge rocks. Ji Won led me over there. He lifted me up and we sat side by side. We remained silent until Ji Won took a deep breath of the ocean air.

“I love this place, don’t you?” he said to me smiling.
I returned his smile and held onto his hand tighter. “Ji Won, what’s wrong?” Ji Won avoided my eyes.
“Nothing.”
I turned his chin to face me. “Come on, you know you can tell me.”
He nodded.

“It’s my dad and this stupid feud he has with my uncle. They’re fighting over who will get the larger part in my grandpa’s will.”

“Oh…” I said softly.

“Isn’t it stupid?” he asked laughing. “My grandpa’s not even dead yet!”

I understood what was bothering him. So I didn’t say anything because I know he doesn’t want me to worry about it. He threw a rock into the ocean and it skipped three times.

“Perfect,” he said.
“Why is it perfect?” I asked.

“Age ain’t nothing but a number right?” he asked me, changing the subject. I thought about it for a while and nodded.

“Since I’m older than you by two years, that makes me your oppa,” Ji Won said to me.

“Yup,” I answered, smiling.

Ji Won smiled back. “I love you….”

I felt my heart my heart filled with a bubble of love but then Ji Won continued talking..”as a dongsang.” My bubble bursted. This was not what I had expected him to say.

I stared at Ji Won with wide eyes. I knew it was pretty forward of me but I had to ask. “Y…your….dongsang?” I managed to stutter out. Ji Won looked back at me with his puppyish eyes and smiled. He nodded his head gently. Have I been reading all his signs wrong?

“So what do you say?” he asked. “Want to be my dongsang?” Even though it was breaking my heart, I had no choice but to agree. I nodded.

“Yes, I want to be your dongsang oppa.”

“Good,” he said.

Ji Won nodded and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a small silver knife. I stared at him with wide eyes.

“Ji Won, what are you going to do with that knife?”

He asked, “Do you trust me Mina?”

I nodded my head without hesitation. I trusted Ji Won with my whole heart. He smiled at me. “Good. Lower the back of your shirt.” Ji Won pulled the back of my shirt down. Then he used that knife to cut me.

“Ow!” I screamed in pain but he continued anyways. He carved a small ‘E’ onto my shoulder blade. My back was bleeding and he bandaged it for me.

Then he handed the knife to me. “Here. Engrave your initial ‘M’ too cuz I don’t want to use the same last name as your mom.” My hand trembled as I held the knife. I didn’t want to hurt Ji Won.

“Go ahead. Don’t worry, I can stand the pain.”

I engraved an ‘M’ onto Ji Won’s back. I was surprised because he didn’t let a tear drop or cry out in pain. I bandaged him and he acted as if nothing had happen. When it was over, he held me close.

I held onto Ji Won tightly as if he was going to leave me. I know he only thinks of me as his little dongsang but it feels nice holding him like this.

As Ji Won held onto Mina, his smiling face instantly turned sad. He wanted to say ‘Mina, I love you as a girlfriend’ so she would be his forever but he couldn’t. He wasn’t the type to admit his feelings.So he figured the scarring was not an engravement of his brotherly love to Mina, but his promised symbol as a soulmate to her forever…

Part 13

Years had pass and I’m still with Ji Won. I didn’t think it was possible but I grew more and more in love with Ji Won everyday. We would do a lot of stuff together and we never had any fights. We argue, but it never came to the point where we would get really mad at each other and he usually let me have it my way. Kang Sung Hoon was Ji Won’s other friend and he hangs out with us a lot too. Sung Hoon is a little older than me and is really nice. He has this really cute smile that when he smiles, you can’t help but smile back. I called him ‘bang geul ee.’ His family life also isn’t good. His dad is a drunk and his mom had passed away when he was young. So usually it was the three of us together. My home life is a lot better thanks to Ji Won. My stepmom didn’t dare to touch me anymore and it’s still the same between me and my dad. We don’t talk much. Ji Won’s parents like me a lot too. It’s because when they tell Ji Won to do something and he wouldn’t do it. They would come to me. I’m kind of like their pawn. Life was heaven for me until it completely shattered on day. It started out with good news but who would have known it would end up in tragedy?

June 15, 1996
My stepmom and dad came home one day from visiting the Euns. “Guess what?” my stepmom told me excitedly.
“What?” I asked calmly.
“The Euns are planning a wedding for you and Ji Won!”
I sat down because my knees gave out. This news hit me with total surprise but I was so happy to hear it because I’m so in love with Ji Won. “Really?” I asked excitedly. “How did this happened?”
“Mr. Eun wanted Ji Won to get married and he figured you’re the girl he should marry.”
“What did Ji Won say?” I had to ask. I didn’t want him to be forced into this.
“Of course he agreed,” she answered.

My breathing increased so I took out my respirator. After I calmed down, my stepmom took me into her room and told me all about the arrangements.
Meanwhile back at the Eun mansion…
“Just because you’re making this wedding for me and Mina doesn’t mean I owe you anything!” Ji Won yelled angrily at his dad.
Mr. Eun grabbed Ji Won by the collar of his shirt. “Ji Won! You listen to me. Once you and Mina get married, your grandpa will give you all of his businesses. Sharing part of it with your dad isn’t asking for much is it?”
Ji Won pushed his dad away. He began to laugh. “The only two people grandpa will give the businesses to is me or uncle. He won’t give it to you because you’ll spend it all on those whores! I bet all your money is gone now.”
It was true. Mr. Eun was in serious debt and he needed Ji Won to get married because Ji Won’s grandpa was going to give Ji Won his inheritance once he gets married. Ji Won had just turned 18 and his dad had planned the marriage months ahead. His dad got on his knees.
“Please son. Please do it for me.”
Ji Won rolled his eyes. “You’re so pathetic dad.” He sighed. Living with Mina taught him compassion and sympathy for people. “I’ll see what I can do dad.”
He went into his room. Just then his cellular phone rang. He picked it up, thinking it was Mina. Using his sexy voice, he whispered, “Hi Mina.”
A weird high-pitched giggle came from the other end of the line.
“Ooh…”said the voice. “Hi to you too sexy.”
Ji Won rolled his eyes. “Oh shut up Sung Hoon.”
Using his real voice, Sung Hoon began to laugh out loud. “Gross hyung! That’s how you talk to Mina? Ew! It gives me the chills!”
“Hey Sung Hoon,” said Ji Won seriously. “Is everything set and ready to go?”
“Yeah hyung,” said Sung Hoon.
“Good,” said Ji Won, smiling. “Meet me at the docks tonight. From there we can sail to the mainland airport and get away from Hawaii to start a new life in Korea.”
“Yeah,” said Sung Hoon. “But did you tell Mina about it?”
“No,” answered Ji Won, sighing. “I’m afraid she won’t leave her family. I’m planning to just kidnap her and take her along. It’s easier that way and no hassle.”
“Right,” said Sung Hoon. “At least the three of us will still be together.”
“Yeah,” said Ji Won. “Meet you in an hour. Get everything ready. I got our money too.”
“Okay,” replied Sung Hoon.
“Bye.” Ji Won clicked off his phone. Ji Won’s dad didn’t know it but his grandpa had given him $10 million in advance, along with hotel ownerships in Korea and Hawaii as his wedding gift. He planned to leave his dad $5 million and live off the rest with Mina and Sung Hoon.
He smiled thinking about how he would get away from everything and just be with the one he loved the most, Mina.

Part 14

Back at home I was so excited I couldn’t sleep. I know I was still young to be thinking about marriage but I know Ji Won is the only guy for me. I held my teddy bear close as thoughts of Ji Won drifted me to sleep.
It was midnight now. Ji Won snuck out of his house quietly without making a noise. He carried his backpack full of money on his back. He planned to go to Mina’s house to grab her and leave. Then it would be just him, Mina, and Sung Hoon leaving together. He was almost to Mina’s house when he realized that he was being followed.
It was his uncle’s men. They came to get rid of him. Ji Won was smart. He knew the streets too well. He made it through the alley and those men end up losing him. But when Ji Won reached Mina’s house, about 10 men had surrounded her house.
They all saw him approaching. Ji Won began to run as they chased him. He made it to the dock. He saw Sung Hoon on the boat.

“Hyung! Hurry! The boat is leaving!”
Ji Won threw his bag onto the boat first and made a high jump. He landed safely onto the boat. His uncle’s men couldn’t chase him anymore. Ji Won and Sung Hoon started cheering until Ji Won realized what was missing. Mina. He had left her. Ji Won fell to his knees.
“What’s wrong?” asked Sung Hoon.
“Mina! We left her! We have to go back!” yelled Ji Won.
Sung Hoon opened his mouth in shock because he just realized it too. Then he shook his head sadly. “We can’t. If we go back, we’ll just get killed and we’ll be putting Mina’s life in danger too.”
Ji Won moved away from Sung Hoon, knowing that the darkness will cover his face. And for the first time in his life, Ji Won cried.

Part 15

I woke up the next morning with this strange feeling inside me. I don’t know why but I find it disturbing. Then I remembered that Ji Won and I are going to get married soon, it subsided.
When I went downstairs, my stepmom was holding that wooden stick I haven’t seen in years. I began to panic. She whacked me with it. I fell down surprised.
“Where’s Ji Won?” she screamed at me.
I was so confused and surprised I didn’t know what she was talking about. She kept hitting me and telling me to answer her. But how can I answer when I don’t even know myself? Then something unusual happened. My dad grabbed the stick away from my stepmom.
“Stop hitting her! Can’t you tell that she can’t think straight through all that pain?”
My stepmom was shocked and she kept her mouth shut because my dad never did that to her before. “Mina,” my dad said to me, holding my hand. “Ji Won ran away from home again. He’s no longer in Hawaii and the wedding’s canceled.”
“He left?” I asked blankly.
My dad nodded his head sadly. “How can he leave me?” I asked standing up. My stepmom’s next words hit me hard and cold like ice.
“He probably left because he didn’t want to marry you.”
I sunk to my knees and fell to the floor. I began to sob to myself. My parents left the room, leaving me alone. ‘How can you leave me, Ji Won? Were all those promises of taking care of me lies?’
I loved Ji Won so much. All I ever wanted is to be with him, even if he did only consider me as a dongsang. I needed to know why he left. Being with him all this time, I knew where he went.
I’ll search all of Korea if I had to…

One year later…
During this year, my life of hell had return. I managed to save up enough money for a ticket to Korea and money to spend. I had to work odd hours so my stepmom wouldn’t find out or she’ll take the money from me. I also had to sell some of Ji Won’s gifts to me.
He was a really generous oppa who would buy me a lot of expensive clothes, jewelry, perfume, and just about anything that I wanted. I figured he wouldn’t mind because they’re just material possessions. They were a big help because I managed to trade them in for a lot of money.

July 24, 1997

I finally had enough money to leave. It took me a while to go because I knew chances are low of finding Ji Won right away. I needed extra money for my search and I had to pay double for a fake I.D. You could say that I have almost everything planned out. I got a pretty good amount so I planned on leaving today.
It’s been a little over a year since Ji Won left me with no reason or explanation. I’ve gotten so much thinner because I couldn’t eat or sleep and I miss him so much. The problem I still had facing me were my parents. I know they were not going to let me leave.
I was only 17. Damn. Still a minor. This year had been total hell for me and I can’t stand another year of it. I had to leave and I had a plan. I was going to fake my death. It was all so perfect. My family had to go out to a luau with Mr. Eun. He still keeps in touch with us. I guess it’s because he thinks I might know where Ji Won is. Truth is, I have no idea except I know Ji Won’s somewhere in Korea.
I planned to fake a drowning. Because of my heart failure, it helped me close off my air circulation for up to 4 minutes. This time I am using it to let my family think that I have drowned and the tides drifted my body to sea so I will never be found…
But before I go I had to say goodbye to my father. I hugged him hard. He looked at me surprised.
“What was that for?” he asked.
I shook my head. “It wasn’t for anything dad. I did it because I love you.”
My dad had tears in his eyes. “I’m so sorry Mina. I’m so worthless as your father.”
“No you’re not but you have to do what’s right dad. Don’t let anyone stop you and stop putting yourself down.”
He nodded his head. I hugged him for the last time.
“I’m going for a swim okay?”
He nodded his head and watched me head toward the ocean. The plan went perfect. I stayed underwater for a while and swam myself to the other side of the beach where they couldn’t see me.
All my belongings were there. I got on the dock and sailed to the mainland airport leaving Hawaii forever…

Part 16
[Seoul, Korea]

July 26, 1997
Ji Won traced the ‘M’ scar on his back. ‘Damn,’ he thought. ‘I miss Mina so much.’ He sent out one of his men to retrieve news about her and if they could, get her here to him in Korea.

Ji Won had it all. Money and power. The only thing that was missing was Mina. So much had happened to Ji Won as he remembered back.
Ji Won and Sung Hoon made it to Seoul, Korea. With Ji Won’s leadership skills and Sung Hoon’s smooth talking, they end up getting a lot of businesses and putting others of out business. Money was not enough for Ji Won. He needed power so he created Sechs Kies, where he was the leader and Sung Hoon was his 2nd-in command.
He and Sung Hoon managed to eliminate the group Quiksilver on their own and gained the respect and loyalty of the two members Kim Jae Duc and Lee Jae Jin.
Along the way, they found Ko Ji Yong and Jang Su Won wandering the streets. Ji Yong proved to be a genius and Su Won was handy in finding information.
Ji Won knew they were enough. They had hundreds of men under them but Sechskies were the main leaders with Ji Won as the head. They committed a lot of crimes but no evidence was ever found to convict them.
Just then there was a knock on his door, interrupting his thoughts.
“Come in,” said Ji Won.

Jang Su Won came in. “I have news for you, boss,” he said.
“Well what is it? What did you find out about Mina?” Ji Won asked.
Sun Won looked down and hesitated to reply. “I’m afraid it’s bad news.”
Those words made Ji Won panic. “Jang Su Won, you answer me now!” yelled Ji Won with rage.
Ji Won’s yell scared Su Won so he blurted it out. “Mina Nam is dead. She drowned while she was swimming in the ocean. Her body has not been found and is still missing.”
Ji Won fell back in his seat in shock. ‘Mina’s dead? No, anyone but Mina,’ he thought. Su Won knew it was a good time to leave so he left Ji Won in his office.
“Mina!”
Ji Won screamed out of his window in pain. His cries echoed throughout the city of Seoul.

Part 17

I finally made it to Chejudo, Korea. I didn’t know where to look for Ji Won so anywhere was fine. I was never a lucky person. I couldn’t find any signs of Ji Won there so I traveled to Inchun City.
My search for Ji Won continued for another year. During that time I had traveled to many cities like Guam, Pusan, etc. It must have been a gift from God because one day my search was over…

November 21, 1998
I had just finish my overtime shift at the Nam Hotel. It was pretty ironic because my whole family spent their lives working for hotels and here is the biggest one in all of Seoul with our family name. I went into the worker’s lounge to take a break and pour myself some tea. I sat down and read the headlines.

‘Sechskies are to open a conference broadcasting live on Channel 6 today’
I rolled my eyes. Not them again. They were the notorious mafia lead by Matthew Eun. I shuddered. I can’t believe the leader has the same last name as my beloved Ji Won.
Actually 6kies was composed of 6 leaders. They committed a lot of crimes and were always challenging the authorities. They had a lot of power and no one could take their pictures without their consent but a lot of people know what they look like. I didn’t care. I was too busy looking for Ji Won to notice them.
A worker with me named So Kyung Hee came in. “Hey,” she said, patting me lightly on the knee. “On break?” I took a sip and nodded. “Me too,” she said smiling.
I smiled back at her. Kyung Hee was actually one of the nicest people at the hotel. Most of them were cold and just worried about how much tips they can get.
Kyung Hee picked up the TV remote and turned to Channel 6. “Hey Mina, there’s supposed to be showing 6kies today. Wonder what they look like.”
I nodded and watched with her. When the clock struck 9, I felt my heart had stopped and it was not from my heart failure either. I stared at the face that was giving a cocky smile to the camera. Ji Won. Slowly the camera pulled out revealing the other 5 members.
I recognized Sung Hoon. He and Ji Won looked completely different but I still recognized them. Ji Won had his hair dyed completely blonde while Sung Hoon’s was streaked. Kyung Hee and I watched them in silence as they began to talk. Ji Won and the others introduced themselves. Then the camera showed directly at Ji Won.

To most people he would look like an evil gang leader but in my eyes he was a beautiful angel. If it was ever possible, Ji Won was even finer than before.
“Mina, are you okay?” asked Kyung Hee, as she waved a hand in front of my face.
“Huh?” I asked looking at her. “Oh, I’m fine. Just listening to what they have to say.”
I pointed to Ji Won on the screen. “Who is he?” “That’s Matthew Eun,” she answered me.
I stared at Ji Won some more. He had changed his name and so did Sung Hoon. No wonder I couldn’t find them.
Kyung Hee caught me staring so she smiled at me. “The leader is cute huh?”
I blushed. “Yeah.” “Too bad in real life he’s such a jerk.”
“He is not!” I yelled at her.
Kyung Hee scooted her seat back in shock. I apologized right away. “Sorry Kyung Hee, I didn’t mean to yell at you.”
She had a confused look on her face but she said, “Uh, it’s okay Mina.”
I pulled a finger to my lips. “Shh…let’s listen to what they have to say…”
Ji Won began talking.
“This is Sechkies speaking to all you losers out there watching us. We just want to say that we’re open to hire new ‘employees’. We usually travel around to our many hotels but you’ll find us if you have the right connections. Also a word to the police of Korea. Why are you picking on us?“ Ji Won asked sarcastically. “We’re good, law-abiding citizens.”
Ji Won folded his hands together and gave a little bow. Then all of the Sechskies leaders started laughing.
“Oh my gosh! Look at him!” yelled Kyung Hee and pointed to Sung Hoon on the T.V. screen. “Look at that stupid smile and that perverted laugh. Kekeke…”
Kyung Hee made a poor impression of Sung Hoon’s laugh and it made me laugh. ‘Geez’, I thought. ‘Sung Hoon would kill her if he knew she made fun of his trademark smile’.
The show ended a little too soon for me but Ji Won did say he was visiting many hotels and mine is the biggest one. He has to come here. I went back to work and waited for him to come.

Part 18

Ji Won entered the main doors of the Nam Hotel and headed towards the lobby. He let out a sigh. Being in a hotel brought back to him a lot of memories. He remembered how he would take Mina to the hotels to trash it or slide down the long stairway banisters.
But those carefree days are over. His only love had died and he no longer has the heart to love anyone else.
Eversince the news of Mina’s death, Ji Won began to develop a passion for anything he thinks is related to her. Things like her hairbrush, the same type of lipgloss she uses, her little respirator, etc. There are times when he had to give her mouth-to-mouth if the respirator wasn’t around. Ji Won smiled remembering that she had told him that he was her first kiss. Mina never went out with any guys so it made him really happy but he also found it very strange. He didn’t want to give her any ideas about dating other guys so he never asked.

Ji Won had changed his name to Matthew. It’s to symbolize that Ji Won died with Mina and Matthew replaced him. He chose the name Matthew because of Mina’s initial ‘M’ and if anyone asks, the ‘M’ stands for Matthew.
Sung Hoon wanted to change his name to Ricky but Ji Won wouldn’t let him. Ji Won only allowed him to change it if it had the letter ‘M’ so Sung Hoon ended up changing it to Mickey instead.
“Hey hyung! Over here!” shouted Sung Hoon.
Ji Won looked over at his five friends. He walked over to them and was surprised at what he saw. “What the hell is this?” he asked angrily. Every single one of them had a girl in each arm. “What do you guys think you’re doing?” he asked as he strode over to them.

“Come on hyung,” said Jae Duc. “Lighten up.”
“Yeah,” said Jae Jin. “We worked hard all day and now let’s have a little fun.”
Ji Won rolled his eyes and then he saw two girls wrap their arms around him. He smiled. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Alright!” they all shouted. They like it when Ji Won is in a good mood.
From where I was standing, I felt as though someone had stabbed me with a knife. Ji Won looked so happy with those 2 girls sitting on both sides of his lap. I stared at my reflection in the hotel mirror.
Big, glassy eyes, pale skin, and waist-length black hair. I looked kind of like a ghost. Not much to look at, I thought sighing sadly. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder and I slowly turned around.

Part 19

“What are you looking at?” asked Kyung Hee.
Whew. I let out a sigh of relief. “They’re here,” I whispered to her.
“Who?” she asked, looking over my shoulder.
“SechsKies.”
“Oh. So you want to go serve them?” I shook my head ‘no’ quickly. Kyung Hee laughed. “Okay. Don’t get so worked up, Mina. I’ll do it.” She took a waitress pad and headed over to their table. I remained in the corner watching them.
“Hi, my name is Kyung Hee and I’ll be your waitress today. May I take your order?”
All the SechsKies members looked up to the pretty, young girl who just approached them. Instantly Sung Hoon made the 2 girls on his lap move. He looked up at Kyung Hee, giving her his best smile.
“I don’t know what I want for dinner, but you want to be my dessert?” The other 5 Kies members laughed while Kyung Hee rolled her eyes.

“That’s so cute. Must have took you all day to think up that one huh?”
“Ooh,” shouted Ji Yong. “This one has a mouth.” Sung Hoon just smiled. “Feisty. I like it.”
Then he pinched Kyung Hee’s side playfully. She moved away, glaring. “Hey don’t touch me!”
“Come on babe. Go out with me. I’ll show you a good time.”
“Hell no!” Kyung Hee shouted back in his face.

Then Ji Won stood up. “Don’t talk to my friend like that,” he said in a low threatening voice. “Or else I’ll have you fired.” Ji Won’s glare made Kyung Hee move back a little bit but she answered back anyways.
“You can’t fire me! I quit!”
She handed Jae Jin her apron and pad and stomped over to me in the dark corner. “Stupid, lousy jerks,” she whispered to me.
“I know,” I whispered back, patting her shoulder. Suddenly, I caught Ji Won staring at me. I didn’t know what to say or do so I just left.

Part 20

Ji Won stared at the girl who was talking to Kyung Hee. ‘She looks like Mina,’ he thought. ‘But can’t be.’
“Hyung,” said Sung Hoon. “What are you looking at?”
“Her,” said Ji Won, pointing in Kyung Hee’s and Mina’s direction.
“You like my waitress too?” asked Sung Hoon, pouting.
“No,” said Ji Won, shaking his head. “Her friend. Doesn’t she look like Mina?”
Sung Hoon glanced at the person Ji Won was pointing to and watched her walk away. “No...” said Sung Hoon slowly. “That girl’s hair is much longer and Mina has a nicer body. That chick looks like a stick.”

Ji Won cocked an eyebrow at Sung Hoon. “How do you know Mina have a nice body?”
Sung Hoon’s eyes widened. “I dunno… just guessing. Ji Yong’s calling me. I’ll go see what he wants,” Sung Hoon said quickly and ran over to Ji Yong right away. Ji Won began to chase the girl who just left.
I heard some footsteps following behind me. I quickly turned a corner and entered my room.
Ji Won ran after her as fast as he could. He saw the girl turn a corner and he continued chasing her. He saw a figure up ahead and he grabbed her by the shoulder. When the girl turned around, she had a surprised expression on her face.

“What do you want?”
Ji Won looked at the strange girl. She looked nothing like Mina. “Wrong person.” The girl walked way. Ji Won sighed. ‘Maybe it’s cause I miss Mina so much that I’m beginning to see her.’ He began to walk back to the lobby, disappointedly.

From my hotel room, I was watching Ji Won with the little hole in the door. I saw him pat a girl and then walk away with his head bowed down. I went over and sat down on my bed. I let out a sigh. Ji Won doesn’t miss me. He has too many girls with him already. He probably forgot who I am by now.
Tears fell down my face and I didn’t even realize it. I quickly wiped them away. I wanted to tell myself that I hate Ji Won but I couldn’t because then I’d just be lying. There was only one thing left for me to do.
I stood in front of my bathroom mirror. I can’t be with Ji Won as Mina, but I wanted to be by his side to watch over him. I thought about it for a while and remembered they were recruiting new members for Black Kies.
I looked at myself. Hmm…if my hair is short and put into a cap, I wear sunglasses more, darken my skin with make-up, and lower my voice…I can pass for a guy.

So I did it. Within an hour, I had transformed myself into a guy. I checked myself over. As a guy, I didn’t look too bad. I smoothed out my new short hair and tucked it into a cap. Guys wear earrings too so I didn’t have to worry about my earring holes.
I wore a couple of T-shirts under my flannel and 2 pairs of boxers under my baggy jeans so I would fill out more and wouldn’t look so scrawny. I checked my make-up, making sure I was well-covered. I put my sunglasses on.
‘Perfect’, I thought. Now all I have to do is have to pass the test to join the gang.
Part 21

Ji Won walked down the aisle looking at the 5 new candidates. He nodded his head as he studied them.
“Pretty good,” he said to them. “Alright,” he clapped his hands for attention. “All of you know how it’s done. Jae Jin and Jae Duc will jump each of you in. If you’re still standing after 5 minutes, then welcome to SechsKies.”
Only 2 of the 5 guys lasted when Jae Jin and Jae Duc were done beating them up. “Okay,” said Sung Hoon. The two newest members to join is—“

“Wait!” shouted a voice, interrupting Sung Hoon. Everyone looked over to see who it was.
Ji Won stared at the young boy who was walking towards them. ‘What the hell? Damn! This kid looks like Mina!’ he thought. ‘I must be losing it. How come I keep seeing her today?’
Sung Hoon looked at the new boy curiously. “Yes? What do you want little man?”
I looked at Sung Hoon. ‘Gosh, he developed an attitude’, I thought. I took a deep breath. This is it. “I want to join SechsKies.”
A guy I recognized as Jang Su Won busted out laughing. He placed his hand on top of my head. “You? How old are you boy? 15? 16? And how tall are you now? 5’?”
I moved his hand for him. “No. I’m 18 and I’m not 5’, I’m 5’3.” That remark made all the other members laugh, except Ji Won. I looked at him curiously and realized he was checking me out.
‘Oh no’, I thought. ‘Please don’t recognize me’.
Ji Won held up his hand for the others to stop laughing. “Hey, if he wants a chance, then we’ll give it to him.”
Then he turned to face me. I felt my heart thumping loud and prayed he couldn’t hear it. He placed his hand on my shoulder. Dang, he smells good, I thought as I tried to suppress a smile.
“Look kid,” said Ji Won to me. “You have to be jumped in to join. These 2 guys (pointing to Jae Jin and Jae Duc) will kick the crap out of you for 5 minutes. If you’re still standing, you’re in.”
I nodded my head. I knew I had to last because I’m doing it all for Ji Won. I stood there as Jae Duc and Jae Jin began to hit me. Jae Jin threw the first punch and it gave me instant pain. He’s even stronger than my stepmom, I thought. Jae Duc kicked me and I was knocked to the ground but I kept pulling myself up.
Ji Won looked at the helpless boy who was struggling to stand up. He doesn’t understand why but when he looks at the boy, images of Mina replaced him. Right now in his eyes, it looked like it was Mina being beaten up by Jae Jin and Jae Duc. He couldn’t help it.
“Stay down!” he yelled to the boy. Everyone stared at Ji Won. Both Jae Jin and Jae Duc stopped hitting the boy because they were surprised that Ji Won was being nice out of nowhere.

I heard Ji Won yelling for me to stay down. My ears listened but my legs wouldn’t. I refused to stay down. No matter how many times they hit me or how hard, I managed to get up. Finally 5 minutes was over and I was still standing.

“Am I in?” I asked in a weak voice. I saw Ji Won staring at me with a surprised expression.
“Yes, you’re in.” he said patting my shoulder. I smiled and fainted into his arms.
Ji Won held the boy, surprised. He realized the boy had fainted. Usually he would have let go if someone fainted on him, but this time he held on tight.

The other 5 Kies members looked and the 2 new recruits looked at Ji Won with queeried eyes. “Uh, hyung,” said Sung Hoon, as he patted Ji Won on the shoulder.
“What?” asked Ji Won, as he continued holding the boy.
“What should we do about the new recruits?”
“Give them instructions and show them to their rooms. We’ll have a meeting tomorrow.”

“Okay.”
They all left but once in a while, they all would glance back looking at Ji Won, who was carrying the boy in the other direction.

Part 22

Slowly I began to regain my consciousness and I woke up. I looked around and realized I was in the biggest room in the Nam Hotel. The Presidential Suite.
“What am I doing in here?” I asked myself. Then suddenly the chair in front of me spun around. Ji Won was sitting in it. I stared at him with wide eyes. I started to panic because I was all alone with him in the room.
Ji Won gave me a sideways glance. “You okay?” he asked. I nodded my head. Ji Won got up out of his seat and walked towards me. He sat down on the bed next to me and looked at me straight in the eyes. “So what’s your name?” he asked.
“Mi-“ I began but instantly cut myself off. ‘Stupid, I thought to myself. You almost said your real name!’ I saw Ji Won’s eyes grow wide.
“What did you say your name was?”
“Min-Sung,” I answered him quickly.
“Oh,” he said and backed away from me.
Ji Won stood up and walked towards the window, looking outside. He knew the new recruit was a boy but somewhere inside him wished Min Sung would say his name was Mina. He let out a sigh.
“There’s a meeting tomorrow. Be there okay?”
I looked at Ji Won with his back facing me. It had only been 2 years but I felt as though I couldn’t read what was going on in his mind anymore. I let out a sigh myself. “Ji Won, where do we meet later tomorrow?”
The call of his real name made Ji Won suddenly look up. He ran over to where Min Sung was sitting and grabbed him by his shoulders. “How do you know my real Korean name? No one knows me by that. Everyone calls me Matthew.”

Oh no, I thought. I had completely forgotten that Ji Won had changed his name to Matthew but I thought fast. “I didn’t know your name as Ji Won. All I said was, ‘Gee, wanna go out later tomorrow?’
I felt Ji Won’s grip on me loosen. He had bought the story. When he was looking, I let out a sigh of relief.
‘I’m losing it,’ thought Ji Won. “We’ll meet in the main dining room tomorrow,” Ji Won told Min Sung. He nodded his head and left. Ji Won walked out to the balcony and looked up at the sky.

“I love you Mina, that’s why it hurts so much that you’re not here.”
But the real Mina had left before she could have heard those words

Part 23

Meanwhile back in the hotel lobby…
After Sung Hoon and the others gave the new recruits instructions and about the meeting, they all went back to their rooms.
“You think there’s something wrong with Matthew hyung?” asked Jae Jin.
“Yeah,” said Jae Duc. “Did you see the way he held the new guy?”
They began to shudder.
“No, it’s nothing,” answered Sung Hoon.
“You think maybe Matthew is gay?” asked Ji Yong.
“You’re the one who looks gay,” said Jae Duc, jokingly.
“Shut up!” yelled Ji Yong as he punched Jae Duc lightly.
The others began to laugh. Then Su Won said, “Could be though. I never saw him ‘be’ with a girl before.”

Sung Hoon lets out a sigh. “Okay, I’ll tell you guys the real deal. But don’t let this get back to Matthew okay?” They all nodded and leaned forward to hear the story.
“It was like 5 years ago when Matthew hyung met this girl named Nam Mina….”
“She a babe?” asked Jae Duc, interrupting.
Sung Hoon gave him a look. “Yes, Duckie, she’s a babe.”
“Oh, okay,” said Jae Duc. “Continue.”

“Anyways, Matthew knew her before he met me. It turns out that she was the first person who ever really cared about him and Matthew fell in love with her. But you know how hyung is. He could never tell anyone exactly what’ s on his mind or how he feels. Instead of saying he wants Mina to be his girlfriend, he said he wants her to be his dongsang—“
“That’s stupid!” yelled Jae Duc, interrupting Sung Hoon. “Why did he say that for? She’s a babe!”
“Sh..!” yelled Jae Jin, Ji Yong, and Su Won at Jae Duc.
Sung Hoon continued. “Well, Matthew ended up having this blood ceremony with her. They scarred each other’s back with their initial. It looks like a blood tie but later on I found out it was his symbol of promised love-“

“Ow..that must have hurt,” said Jae Duc, as he hugged himself. Jae Jin smacked him on the head for interrupting again.
“I think they knew each other for a year before they met me. At first I thought Mina was cute, but then by the way Matthew acts, I can tell she was off limits. See, Mina had this heart condition where air would suddenly be closed off and she couldn’t breathe. The only way to get air in was by this respirator—“
“The one hyung always carry?” asked Jae Duc.
“Yes Duckie,” said Sung Hoon, rolling his eyes. “Anyways, it was either that or mouth to mouth. Once when Matthew went collecting shells for Mina, I was walking along the shores with her. One of her attacks came on. I freaked out of course, but I knew what to do. I laid her down and I was about to give her CPR but then Matthew ran the speed of light and knocked me into the ocean and he gave her CPR.”
The others started laughing.
“Dang, ain’t he a Romeo?” said Jae Duc, laughing.
Sung Hoon smiled. “It’s cause he loves Mina and didn’t want any other guy touching he. I mean, during school, if any guy talks about wanting to date her, Matthew made sure he didn’t. Oh yeah, Matthew hyung hasn’t always been Matthew. His real name is Ji Won. The ‘M’ scar on his back stands for Mina, not Matthew.”
The others opened their mouths in shock. They never knew Ji Won had been this much in love before.
“How romantic,” whispered Jae Duc.
“Shut up hyung,” said Ji Yong. “Quit interrupting!”
“Okay, okay,” said Jae Duc, blocking himself from Jae Jin’s hand.
Sung Hoon began talking.
“If there are no more interruptions, then I’ll continue.” He paused for a second and then continued. “The day before Matthew and I made it to Korea, he and Mina were supposed to get married. Matthew didn’t like his dad and there was this feud in their family on who gets the grandpa’s inheritance. Matthew got it, of course, and he took it all and left Hawaii. He took me and he was planning on taking Mina too. When he went to her house though, his uncle’s men were guarding the place and he couldn’t take her. He ended up leaving Hawaii without saying goodbye to Mina.”
All of them remained silent.
Then Su Won spoke. “Last year hyung sent me out to get some news on Nam Mina. She had died drowning.”
Sung Hoon nodded. “Yeah but Matthew and I think she committed suicide. He think it’s because Mina can’t handle living with her stepmom, who always abuse her. If you ask me, I think Mina committed suicide because Matthew left her without any reason. I think hyung thinks that too but he won’t say it. I think he blames himself for her death and since then he hasn’t been the same. He used to be nicer and not this touchy. Also that’s why he’s never been with another girl. I mean, we see him flirt with other girls but none of us actually see him ‘be’ with another girl right?”
The others nodded in agreement. Sung Hoon continued. “About this new boy today. I think Matthew is losing it. He probably thinks when he sees the boy he is see—“
Sung Hoon stopped talking as he looked up. He finished his sentence with a “—See you later!” and he ran off.

Part 24

The others looked up surprised. Jae Jin smacked Jae Duc on his head.
“What?” asked Jae Duc. “I didn’t interrupt!”
“It’s not Duckie’s fault,” said Ji Yong. “Look.” Ji Yong pointed to where Sung Hoon ran off too.
“Aigo,” said Jae Jin. “It’s that same waitress babe.”
“See?” said Jae Duc. “It’s cause of a girl, not me. You hit me by mistake.”
“No, it’s not a mistake. I still wanna smack your head cause it makes this cool hollow sound,” replied Jae Jin as he smacked Jae Duc on his head again.
“So, wanna go out sometime?” Sung Hoon asked Kyung Hee, leaning near her. She rolled her eyes at him.
She answered flatly, “No” and began to leave.
Sung Hoon held onto her arm. “Come on babe. X-mas is next month and don’t be a scrooge.”
Then suddenly, Kyung Hee gave him a seductive smile. “I guess. How about we go out on November 31st then?”
Sung Hoon gave her a sexy smile back. “It’s a date then,” he answered, letting her go. The other 4 walked up to him.
“How’d it go Mickey?” asked Su Won.
“Hey, hey, what can I say?” answered Sung Hoon cockily. “I’m the man!”
Jae Jin gave him a high-five.
“Alright!” yelled Jae Duc. “When you 2 going out?”
“November 31st,” answered Sung Hoon.
“Uh, Mickey,” said Ji Yong. “Sup Ji Yong?” said Sung Hoon.
“November doesn’t have a 31st.”
“What?” asked Sung Hoon, surprised. He looked at the calendar. November ended on the 30th. He looked around but Kyung Hee had already left. He started cursing while the others tried to hold back their laughter.

November 23, 1998

“This meeting of SechsKies is now in session,” announced Ji Won to the main members of the group, along with the new recruits. His voice got their attention and they quickly focused their attention on Ji Won.
Ji Won looked to see if Min Sung was there. He was. Ji Won gave a little smile to him. He didn’t know why but when he looks at Min Sung his mind would replace Min Sung’s face with Mina’s.
“So any new business?” he asked the members.
“Yes,” answered Jae Jin. “The Black Dragons have killed some of our members and took away some of our businesses.”
“Damn it!” yelled Ji Won as he pounded his fist on the table. “We’ll just have to see that this Black Dragon matter will be solved. Mickey you, Ji Yong, Su Won, and the 2 new recruits deal with the businesses. Jae Jin, Jae Duc, and Min Sung will come with me.” Everyone looked at Ji Won strangely.
Sung Hoon began to speak. “Uh, hyung. You want to take Min Sung along?”
Ji Won glared at him. “Yeah. Anyone here have any objections?” No one answered. “Meeting adjourned,” announced Ji Won and everyone went to work.

Part 25

I followed the Black Kies to a dark alley. I was surprised Ji Won wanted to take me along, considering I was one of the weakest members. I thought I would get to work with the White Kies in businesses.
“Hey kid,” said Jae Duc to me. “What is it?”
He handed me a gun. “Use this to protect yourself.”
My eyes widened as I held the cold metal. ‘Please don’t let me use it’, I prayed silently.
Ji Won walked over to Min Sung. “Okay, the coleaders of Black Dragons are meeting around here. You’ll recognize them by the dragon tattoos on their arms. If you see them, just shoot them as they come out.”
“But Matthew hyung, I—“ but my words were cut off the sound of gunshots.

POW
“Get down!” yelled Ji Won as he covered me. Then he started firing. I covered my ears and watched Ji Won in disbelief. He had shot 4 people and killed 3. Ji Won stood up smiling.
I couldn’t believe it. I was in love with a cold-blooded killer. Jae Jin and Jae Duc killed some other members and Ji Won told them to kill every single Black Dragon member.
One Black Dragon member lay hurt on the ground. Ji Won pulled him up by the collar of his shirt and pointed a gun to his head. “Tell me who’s your leader punk or else I’ll blow your brains out.”
The young boy was whimpering. I felt sorry for him. “Please don’t kill me. My leader is Eun Tae Won.”
“Who the hell is that?” asked Ji Won angrily. “What the hell does he have against me?”
“He’s the godson of Mr. Eun, who’s one of the heirs of the Eun Hotel Empire and he came to get the inheritance back from you.”
I listened to what the boy was saying. I never knew that Ji Won’s uncle had a godson. From what I had heard, Ji Won’s uncle had passed away 2 months ago and he had an heir. ‘The heir is the leader of Black Dragon’, I figured out. “That bastard,” said Ji Won. “He’s dead and he still has someone after me.” When Ji Won wasn’t looking, the Black Dragon boy had pulled out a knife, ready to stab Ji Won.

I didn’t have time to think so I reacted instantly. I shot the boy. He fell back in pain but managed to get up and run away. Ji Won looked at me surprised. He gave me a smile. “Good job, Min Sung,” he said walking over to me and patted me on the back. I was appalled at what I had done. I couldn’t answer him so I just handed him back the gun.
Just then Jae Jin and Jae Duc came back to us. “Got them all hyung,” said Jae Jin smiling as he did fancy handwork with his gun. "Good,” said Ji Won. “Min Sung here just saved my life. I knew it was a good idea to bring him along.”
“Really?” asked Jae Duc. “Nice work kid.” Then he punched me lightly on the shoulder.
When we made it back to the hotel, I ran into my room using my respirator and swallowed a pill. Afterwards, I took a shower. I felt so dirty because what I had done. I knew this was going to be only one of the many dirty work I would have to do to stay with Ji Won.

Part 26

A few months later…

During this time, since I saved Ji Won’s life, he began to trust me more and confided in me with everything. I was like his new best friend. SechsKies continued traveling to many places and recruited new members.
More war between SechsKies and Black Dragons broke out. Many businesses were shut down and more members were killed from both sides. All the blood shed and fighting was getting to me but I held on. All the members of SechsKies accepted me but sometimes I overhear them whisper that I’m gay. I didn’t care as long as I had Ji Won.

April 30, 1999
Finally, after many days of hard work, SechsKies finally got a day of rest. The leaders always hang out together but Ji Won always included me. We were at this fancy restaurant and were all having a good time. Jae Duc was telling us funny jokes. He stopped in the middle of a joke as he saw the Black Dragon leaders enter the restaurant.
Tension was felt by everyone. The Black Dragons sat down across from us. Ji Won and Tae Won were giving each other glares.
Underneath the tables, we pulled out our guns. I knew the Black Dragons were doing the same. We didn’t know which side fired the first shot but before we knew it, bullets were flying everywhere.
Ji Won covered me as we ran out of the restaurant safely. We met up with the other 5 Kies in a dark alley. The Black Dragons were still chasing us.
“Damn it hyung! What should we do?” asked Jae Jin. “Kill them all!” shouted Ji Won.
“There are too many,” Ji Yong shouted back. “Let’s just hide out in this motel.” We all ran and hid in this cheap motel’s restaurant. The Black Dragons lost us and continued searching.
“I don’t believe this!” said Ji Won furiously. “I, Matthew Eun, of SechsKies have to hide down here in this cockroach motel like I’m a dog or something!”
“Calm down,” I said to him gently, patting his back. “It’s not so bad.”
“Yeah hyung,” said Sung Hoon. “It’s only for one night. Besides, we’ll make them pay for this.”
All of us looked around. There was only one bed. I could tell none of us wanted the floor because it was disgusting and reeked of something. “I ain’t taking the floor!” all of us shouted in unison.
“There’s only one bed though,” said Su Won.
“Look on the bright side,” said Jae Duc as he laid out the sheets on the bed. “At least it’s king size.”
I nodded my head. “It’ll be tight but we’ll all have to try and fit in.” Soon it was Jae Jin, Jae Duc, Ji Won, me, Sung Hoon, Ji Yong, and Su Won lying down side by side uncomfortably on the bed. We were laying down one by one and the others looked at me strangely as I ran to be the next person who lie near Ji Won.
Soon everyone fell asleep except me. I made sure everyone was asleep before I made my move. I bent over to kiss Ji Won lightly on the lips. Then I laid my head down on his chest to hear his heart beat. I sighed contentedly.
Then suddenly I felt Ji Won’s leg twitch. Oh no. I knew what he was about to do. His 360. I placed my entire body on top of his because I didn’t want to get kicked.

As Ji Won did his 360, he kicked everyone except me off the bed. As always when Ji Won was done, he had a huge smile on his face. Then he held onto me tightly. I was overwhelmed with happiness.
The others must have been exhausted because none of them woke up except Jae Duc. He opened his eyes sleepily and said, “Huh?” “You’re dreaming,” I whispered to him. He nodded his head and went back to sleep. Soon I drifted off to sleep too.

Part 27

Next Morning…
May 1, 1999
Ji Won began to stir. He woke up finding Min Sung holding onto him tightly. Ji Won widened his eyes and gently unraveled Min Sung’s arms and legs off of him.
The guys already called Min Sung gay and he didn’t want them to think he’s gay too. He sat up and saw 5 of the SechsKies leaders lying on the floor.
Then Sung Hoon began to wake up. He sat up and looked around. “Gross! How the hell did I end up down here?” Ji Won shrugged his shoulders.
Then Jae Duc woke up. “Damn, my butt hurts. It feels like someone kicked it last night.” Then one by one everyone woke up.

“P.U.!,” yelled Jae Jin. “This floor stinks!” Everyone started laughing.
“Sorry you guys,” said Ji Won laughing. “I must have done a 360 and kicked you all off.”
“How come you didn’t fall off Min Sung?” asked Ji Yong.
Uh, oh, I thought. “I did,” I answered him. “But I got back up and went to sleep on the bed again.”
“Really?” asked Su Won. “I didn’t even know. I just went right on sleeping.”
Ji Won began to study Min Sung. It was weird but somehow Ji Won had a feeling that Min Sung knew he does a 360 in his sleep. ‘But that’s impossible,’ he thought to himself. ‘Only Mina knows that and why didn’t Min Sung say anything about me kicking him?’ Ji Won didn’t know what was going on with Min Sung but he knew he had to find out. We all got up and ready to leave the room. The coast seemed clear so we walked out unarmed. Big mistake. There was an ambush waiting for us.
“Disperse!” yelled Ji Won and we all ran our separate ways.
Black Dragons chased after each one of us. I lost the Black Dragon member that was chasing me but I didn’t want to go back the hotel room without Ji Won so I turned back to get him.
When I found Ji Won, he was backed up against the wall by a Black Dragon. It was the leader, Tae Won. He was telling Ji Won to bow down and beg for mercy but Ji Won ended up spitting in his face. Tae Won got angry and pulled the knife back to stab Ji Won in his throat.
I ran as fast as I could and knocked Tae Won down. He dropped the knife and fell to the floor with me. As he fell, he used the handled of the knife to knock Ji Won unconscious. Tae Won got up glaring at me.

“Do you know whom you’re messing with?” he asked me angrily.
I glared at him back unflinching. “I’ll make you pay for hurting Ji Won.”
“Oh you must be the gay SechsKies member I’ve heard so much about,” said Tae Won laughing. “You’re afraid your faggot leader would die leaving you alone?”
That made me really angry. I didn’t care that he called me gay but calling Ji Won a faggot ticked me off. Since he was distracted, I grabbed the hand he was holding the sword with, and made him stab himself. He cried out in shock and pain. He pulled knife out of him.
Tae Won pushed me away and cuts me in the knee with his knife. I fell down and saw him raise the knife above my head. I was going to die.
Then suddenly a voice screamed out, “Gang Rape!”
It made Tae Won run off. I looked over to see who it was. It was Kyung Hee screaming for the cops. I saw her looking at me sighing and walked away. “Kyung Hee!” I screamed for her.
Kyung Hee looked at me strangely as she approached me. “Do I know you?”
I nodded my head and motioned for her to come near me. When she did, I whispered in her ear, “It’s me, Mina.”
“Mina? But you’re a guy!” she yelled back at me.
“Look at me closely.”
When she did, her eyes widened as she grabbed a hold of me. “Mina, it is you!” I turned her back to face me. “Please help me bring Ji Won back to the hotel.” Kyung Hee made a face of disgust.
“What are you doing with the SechsKies leader and why are you dressed like a guy?”
“I’ll explain later,” I told her. We both put Ji Won’s arms around us as we carried him back. Along the way we found Sung Hoon unconscious on the ground, bleeding. I set Ji Won down gently and lifted Sung Hoon up.
“Sung Hoon!” I said, shaking him. He was hurt badly. “Kyung Hee, please do me a favor. You carry Sung Hoon while I carry Ji Won.”
Kyung Hee looked at me reluctantly but then nodded. I lifted Ji Won onto my back and carried him back to the Nam Hotel. My leg was still bleeding from the cut and I was limping.
“Mina, can you carry him?” Kyung Hee asked me, concerned.“I’ll be fine,” I answered her as we made it back.

Part 28

I took Ji Won back to his room while Kyung Hee took Sung Hoon back to his. I washed Ji Won’s cuts and nursed his wounds. When he was bandaged, I sat down on the chair next to his bed.
Then suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. One of my attacks is coming on and I didn’t have my respirator with me. My heart was aching so painfully that I was gasping in pain. But then I remembered Ji Won had a respirator. I searched his pockets and sure enough, there it was. I started pumping it quickly and air entered my lungs.
My vision cleared and I began to breathe easier. Then I put it back into his pocket. My touch made Ji Won stir. He began to wake up. He looked at me.
“Min Sung?” he asked weakly.
I nodded my head. “Yes, it’s me hyung.”
Ji Won lifted himself up. “Where am I?”
“We’re back at our hotel.”
“Oh,” Ji Won said as he looked at my leg. “What happened to your knee?”
I looked down at it. It was bleeding through my pants. “It’s nothing hyung. I’ll be okay in a few days.”
“Did Tae Won do this to you?”
I nodded my head.
Ji Won pounded his fist on his desk. “Damn him! I’ll get him back.”
“It’s okay hyung,” I said calming him down.
“By the way,” he asked me suddenly, “how did you end up finding me? Weren’t you supposed to come back here by yourself?”

His question hit me by surprise. I answered him truthfully. “I came back to look for you because I was worried you might be in danger.” I saw Ji Won look at me awkwardly and inched himself away from me. ‘He thinks I’m gay’, I thought.
“Uh, thanks for coming back to save me then,” Ji Won said to Min Sung awkwardly. Min Sung nodded and left his room. Ji Won lets out a sigh. He loved Min Sung as a friend and definitely nothing more. He didn’t want Min Sung to have any thoughts.
Instinctively Ji Won reached into his pocket to check to see if his respirator was still there. It was but it was different. Ji Won stared at it with wide eyes. His once filled respirator was now only half full with air.
Someone had been using it.

Part 29

Later that evening Ji Won posted a note on my door telling me to meet him. It was 8 p.m. and I knocked the door to his room.
“Come in,” said Ji Won. I entered his room, not knowing what he was going to say. “Follow me,” he ordered. He left the room and I followed him.
He took me to the beach that was near our hotel. Then he walked over to a spot where there were two rocks side by side. I caught my breath. This looks exactly like our spot in Hawaii, I thought.
“Come here and sit next to me, Min Sung,” said Ji Won to me, patting the rock next to him. I sat down near him and closed my eyes as I breathed in the salty sea air.
Ji Won began to study Min Sung. ‘He looks like Mina in a way,’ he thought. ‘Could he be Mina in another form?’ Ji Won didn’t believe in reincarnation but Min Sung was too much like Mina for him. He wanted to see if somehow Min Sung was Mina so he had to test him.
“Min Sung, you want to hear a story?”
“Sure,” said Min Sung eagerly.

Ji Won smiled as he told his story. “There once was this rich boy who came from a messed up family. He had no friends at all. Then one day he met this little girl who became his friend. She was really nice to him, unlike his family, so he began to adopt her as his dongsang.” Ji Won paused right there to see Min Sung’s reaction.
My smile faded when Ji Won began his story. He was talking about our life in Hawaii. Then I figured out he was testing me. ‘The respirator’, I thought. ‘I must have drained it when I was using it so now he suspects me’. I steadied myself and tried my best to give no reaction.
Ji Won stared at Min Sung, who appeared to have no reaction to the story. “Well what do you think?” Ji Won asked him.
“That’s a cute story, hyung,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.
Ji Won continued. “Do you know why he took extra care of his dongsang?” Min Sung shook his head no. “It’s because she has this heart problem and needed this respirator to breathe.” He took out the respirator from his pocket and showed it to Min Sung. Again, no reaction.
“Poor girl,” said Min Sung.

“Yes, poor girl,” said Ji Won sadly. “She died a few years later.”
I looked at Ji Won sadly. I knew Ji Won felt bad because of my death but since I’m no one special to him, it wouldn’t matter if he knew the truth that Mina was still alive and with him right now. Then Ji Won took out a stone and handed me one. I rubbed the white marble stone for a while.
“Throw it,” he told me. I shook my head no. To me it was like a present so I didn’t throw it but just kept it in my pocket. Ji Won threw his into the ocean. It skipped 3 times.
“Perfect,” he said.
“Why is it perfect?” I asked him.
This time I wished he would tell me the significance of the 3-skip. “When the stone skips 3 times, it means 3 words. I love you.” I looked at Ji Won in an overwhelming joy. Did Ji Won love me? He had thrown the rock and it skipped 3 times many times before.
“So did the rich boy ever really loved his dongsang?” I asked Ji Won.
Ji Won looked at me. “Of course he does. He has a lot of brotherly love for her.”
“Oh,” I whispered softly. My heart began to ache.
As Ji Won continued staring at the ocean, I began to walk home with a heavy heart. Ji Won began to shake his head. ‘Mina’s dead already so why am I denying that I love her?’ he thought to himself as he stared out to the ocean.
“Actually, Min Sung, the rich boy loved his dongsang the first day he met her but he’s such a weak person. He never could admit his feelings for her and just waited for her to say that she loves him first.”
Ji Won turned around and saw that Min Sung had left. ‘Oh well,’ he thought as he headed back to the hotel.

Part 30

*Since some of you wanted to hear more about Sung Hoon and Kyung Hee, this chapter is a little side story.
Sung Hoon woke up aching. He realized he was back at the Nam Hotel and in his room. “How did I make it back here?” he asked himself. Then he realized he was wearing nothing but his boxers. His bathroom door suddenly opened and out came Kyung Hee. “Hey!” he shouted as he pulled a blanket over to cover himself.
Kyung Hee rolled her eyes. “It’s too late for that. I’ve seen it all already,” she told him as she yanked the blanket away.
Sung Hoon crossed his arms over his chest. “So you took advantage of me in my weak state?”
“So what if I did?” she snapped at him.
“That means you have to marry me and support me while I give birth to your child.” Kyung Hee couldn’t help but laugh.
Sung Hoon smiled at her. ‘I guess he isn’t so bad,’ she thought. “You know,” said Sung Hoon quietly. “You didn’t have to diss me like that when you said you’ll go out with me.” Kyung Hee looked at him.
“I had to! You were such an arrogant jerk and you wouldn’t leave me alone.”
“Maybe it’s because I like you too much to leave you alone,” he replied back.
Kyung Hee blushed a little and decided to change the subject. “Give me your arm,” she said to him. Sung Hoon’s right arm was bleeding and Kyung Hee began to wash the cut.
“Ow!” he yelled in pain, pulling his arm back. “That hurts.”
“Does it?” Kyung Hee asked him, concerned. “I’m sorry.”
She leaned over to blow on his cut. Sung Hoon stared at her the entire time. He felt warm and shy being around her. He never felt this way for a girl before. She was nice to him and not dissing him like she usually does. He really liked that feeling. Kyung Hee gently placed his arm into a cast.
“There,” she said. “All better.”
“You know,” said Sung Hoon softly. “Everyone says kisses make boo-boos feel better and go away.”
When Kyung Hee was nursing Sung Hoon, she developed a liking for him and his nice body was a good addition. “Really?” she asked skeptically. “I don’t believe you.”
“Why don’t you test it out then?” he challenged her smiling.
“Maybe I will,” she said, flirting back. “Where does it hurt?”
Sung Hoon pointed to his knee. Kyung Hee kissed it. Then he pointed to his hand. She kissed it too. Slowly he pointed to his forehead, which she also kissed. He worked his way down to his nose. Kyung Hee couldn’t help but laugh as she kissed his nose lightly. Sung Hoon’s nose was broken.
Then he pointed to his lips. Kyung Hee was about to kiss it lightly but then Sung Hoon held onto her tightly to deepen the kiss. Kyung Hee felt drawn to him so she didn’t push him away. He turned her over so she lie down on his bed, with him on top of her.

His hand went under the back of her shirt and he stopped there. Kyung Hee continued kissing him and ran her fingers through his hair. Since she wasn’t stopping him, he was about to continue when…
*knock knock*
‘I’m going to kill that person,’ thought Sung Hoon as he broke off the kiss. “Yeah? What is it?” he yelled.
“Matthew wants all of us to go down to the dining room for a meeting,” said Ji Yong.
“Okay, I’ll be there in 5 minutes!” Sung Hoon yelled back. When he heard footsteps of Ji Yong leaving, he kissed Kyung Hee once more. “Sorry honey, I have to go but I’ll be right back.” Kyung Hee nodded and helped him into his clothes.

Part 31

"Order SechsKies!” yelled Ji Won.
“Ooh, ooh,” said Jae Duc. “I want some kimbab!”
Ji Won glared at him. Jae Duc shuts up. “Now I want to talk to all of you about Min Sung. He’s only been here for a few months but he had saved my life twice and not to mention, Sung Hoon’s.” Sung Hoon slapped Min Sung on the back and smiled.
“Now,” continued Ji Won. “What do you want Min Sung? A car, money, women? Tell us and it’s yours.”
“Yeah,” said Sung Hoon. “Just name it buddy and it’s yours.”
I thought about it for a while. The only thing I wanted was Ji Won but I couldn’t say that. Since he was suspecting me so much there was only one thing I should ask for. “I want a woman,” I told them. They all opened their mouths in shock.
“Alright Min Sung, you dog!” yelled Sung Hoon, breaking the silence. “At least you’re proving to us that you’re a man now!”

“Okay,” said Ji Won slowly. “Who’s the girl?”
“So Kyung Hee,” I announced.
I saw Sung Hoon’s smiling face turn mad.
“Who do you want?” Sung Hoon asked me in disbelief.
I repeated myself. “So Kyung Hee.”
Sung Hoon grabbed me by the collar of my shirt. “Out of all the girls you could have picked, why her?” he yelled at me. I knew Sung Hoon liked Kyung Hee but Kyung Hee was the only person that could help me.
“I happen to like her too,” I answered him. “Besides, you all said I can have anything I want, and I want Kyung Hee.”
“He’s right,” said Ji Won softly. “We can’t go back on our words.” Ji Won clapped his hands for attention. “So Kyung Hee now belongs to Ahn Min Sung. Anyone from SechsKies who touches her, the penalty is death.”
Su Won and Ji Yong had to hold Sung Hoon back from attacking me. “I thought you were my friend!” he yelled as they took him away. I sighed and headed for my room.
Ji Won looked at Min Sung as he was walking away. “Min Sung.”
“Yes hyung?”

“Are you sure that’s what you want?”
“Yes hyung. I’ve never been more sure in my life.” Then Min Sung left.
When I made it back into my room, Kyung Hee was in there waiting for me. “What the hell is going on?” she asked me. I knew it was time to tell her my story. When I finished, she was bawling like a baby. I handed her a tissue.
“Th..that is s..so..romantic,” Kyung Hee said, sobbing.
I patted her head as she leaned on me. “No, it’s not.”
“So you’re not going to tell Ji Won who you really are?”
I shook my head. “It wouldn’t matter anyways.”
“How do you know? If he knows you’re still alive, who knows? He might fall in love with you.”
“Maybe,” I began slowly. “But then he’d love me out of pity and not out of love. I don’t want that.”
“Oh.” Kyung Hee stared at the floor. “I wonder if Mickey really likes me.”
“What?!” I asked in surprise.
She looked at me sheepishly. “Oh, I forgot to tell you that Mickey and I are beginning to fall for each other.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t have a chance to. Besides, it just happened.”
“I’m sorry Kyung Hee.”
“It’s okay,” she said as she hugged me. “We’ll just have to put our little romance on hold for a while. You’re more important.”
“No, I’ll go tell—“
My words were cut off by my lack of air. This time my attack was worser than it ever had been before. Kyung Hee stared at me frightened.
“Mina! What’s happening?”
“C..can’t breathe…” I managed to say. She lifted me up.
“Come on, I’ll take you to the hospital.”
“Don’t let the others see me,” I said to her before I collapsed into total darkness.

Part 32

Slowly I began to open my eyes. I closed them instantly because the light reflecting me was so bright. ‘Am I on the other side?’ I wondered. I managed to squint my eyes open.
I found myself strapped to a pulse racer machine and an IV fluid was hooked up to me. I started to look around my room. I was in a hospital and I saw that my door was open slightly ajar. Then I heard 2 voices talking and I began to eavesdrop.
“It’s a miracle that she’s still alive,” said the doctor.
“Is she going to be okay?” Kyung Hee asked him.
“Well, according to these test results, her heart will expire any time now. We need to get her a heart transplant soon because she’s past overdue for 2 years already. I made some calls and there is a matching donor for her in England.”
“I’ll have to talk to her about it.”
“Please do,” said the doctor. “It’s her only hope of living.”
Kyung Hee slowly entered my room. She stared at me with wide eyes. “You heard everything Mina?”
I nodded my head weakly and took the air respirator off my mouth. “You can tell him to forget about it. I’m not going to England for a couple of months to get surgery.”
Kyung Hee ran over and shook me. “Mina, are you crazy? You have to or you’ll die.”
“No,” I told her stubbornly. “It was so hard for me to find Ji Won and I won’t let go of him just like that.”
Kyung Hee began to cry. “I don’t want you to die though.”
I looked at her sadly. “You’re a good friend Kyung Hee. I know you’ll be the perfect girl for Sung Hoon.” I yanked the IV tube off my arm. “Come on. Let’s go home.”
A little over a month later….
My heart condition began to grow worse. My attacks became more frequently and undetected. It would happen during odd times like when I’m showering or having dinner with the SechsKies guys. Luckily Kyung Hee was always there by my side to cover for me.

Sung Hoon hated me. I can tell by the way he acts. He probably thinks that Kyung Hee really likes Ahn Min Sung (that’s me). What he doesn’t know is Kyung Hee truly does love him and it breaks her heart seeing him go out with other girls. I think he’s doing that to make her jealous.
As for Ji Won, he began to grow distant towards me. He wouldn’t talk to me much and he’s been depressed about something lately. I wish I could know what was bothering him because it hurts me to see him sad like that.
Secrets are definitely hard to keep. Especially ones that you have to cover everyday. I should have known that my disguise and heart attacks would be exposed soon but it just came to me unexpectedly…

Part 33

June 15, 1999
Ji Won was in his depressed state again. There was this empty void inside him that he couldn’t erase. It was a recurring pain that never seemed to end. He felt lonely.
Whenever he sees Min Sung and Kyung Hee together, it disturbs him. He could’t figure out what it was but he kept finding something wrong with the picture. Then a knock came on his door.
“Come in,” he said, without bothering to see who it was.
I entered Ji Won’s room holding a tray of food. Now these days since he was in his isolated stage, he didn’t eat much anymore. I was beginning to worry. I didn’t have much time left with him so I wanted to take care of him the best I could with the time I still had left.
“Hyung? Are you hungry? I brought you some food.”
Ji Won turned around to see who it was. It was Min Sung. “Just put it down.” Min Sung placed it down before Ji Won. Ramyun, mee-yuk-gook, rice, and curry. ‘How does he know I like these food?’ Ji Won thought. “Take it away I don’t want it.”

“But hyung, you haven’t eaten for days. Please eat a little bit.”
“I said take it away!” Ji Won yelled, his anger exploding. He knocked over the tray of food. It ended up spilling all over Min Sung. Ji Won and Min Sung stared at each other. Neither of them knew what to say. Min Sung leaned over to clean up the spilled food and then left.
Ji Won fell back in his chair. He ran his hands through his hair frustrated. Min Sung was too much like Mina that it was driving him crazy. Ji Won knew he was out of line though, so he began to walk to Min Sung’s room to apologize.
’What a mess’, I thought as I stripped out of my clothes. I soaked myself into a hot water bath, hoping it could wash away all my troubles. When I was done with my bath, I wrapped myself up in a towel and got out of the tub. Then I heard my room door open and then close.
‘Must be Kyung Hee’, I thought as I began to put my clothes on.
Ji Won entered Min Sung’s room, not knowing what to say. He wasn’t good at apologizing. He looked around and didn’t see Min Sung anywhere. Then he heard the sound of water draining. He figured Min Sung must be in the bathroom.
Ji Won opened the door slightly and saw Min Sung’s bare back. He shuts the door quietly and began to leave. He planned to apologize later but then his mind began to sort out what he had just seen. Min Sung’s back had an ‘E’ on it. Ji Won breaks the open the door to the bathroom.
I was buttoning up my long sleeve shirt when my door suddenly opened. I stared at Ji Won in shock but then remembered I wasn’t completely dressed yet. I buttoned up the remaining buttons and then faced him.
“Hyung!” I said surprised. “What are you doing here?” I caught Ji Won looking down at my shirt. I had buttoned it all wrong and a great deal of my body was showing. Oh hell, I thought. “Hyung, I can explain-“ I began to tell him but I never had a chance to.
Ji Won stared at Min Sung’s exposed body. Without thinking, he ripped open Min Sung’s shirt finding that Min Sung was indeed a woman. Min Sung stood still, stunned at what Ji Won had just did. He turned Min Sung’s back to him. There it was. His ‘E.’
“M...Mina?” he asked uncertainly, afraid to hope.I didn’t know what I was more embarrassed from. Letting Ji Won expose me or being caught. In all my life I had never been angry at Ji Won but I didn’t know why I reacted impulsively. As I held my shirt together, I slapped Ji Won across the face hard with my other hand. His head snapped to the side. He held his cheeks as he turned to face me.
“How could you do this to me Ji Won?” I asked him screaming. “Get out! Get out!” I started to push him out the door.
Ji Won was in shock. Mina, he thought. He grabbed her arms as she pushed him out. “Mina, don’t! Is it really you?”
I glared at him. As if he knew, Ji Won took off his jacket and puts it around my shoulders. I zipped it up, covering myself. “Yes Ji Won, it is me Mina.”
“But I thought you were dead.”
“I didn’t die. I faked my death.” “Why?”
“So I could go to Korea.”
“You came all the way from Hawaii to find me? Why didn’t you just tell me who you are?”
Ji Won looked at Mina, who had tears coming out of her eyes. He was about to brush them off for her but then Mina pushed his hand away.

“That’s the only way I could do to be with you. Join SechsKies.” Ji Won stared at Mina as she continued talking. “After you left me all alone in Hawaii, my life became so miserable. Not because of my stepmom, but because of you. I finally found a way to leave Hawaii to find you. I was so happy when I thought about how I could see you again. I thought—“
Ji Won began to feel a rush of mixed emotions. Mina’s words made him sad but seeing her alive in front of him, made him want to hold onto her and never let her go. He paused to let her continue.
"—I thought that we could be together like we were….oppa and dongsang in Hawaii. But obviously, I was wrong. You had all those girls around you that you’ve completely forgotten about me.”
Ji Won felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. Each one of Mina’s words stabbed him like a knife. “Mina, you don’t understand. I—“ Mina didn’t wait for his explanation and ran. Ji Won chased after her.
“Mina!” he yelled as he chased her out of the hotel. “Hyung,” said Su Won as he saw Ji Won ran by him. Ji Won pushed him out of the way. Kyung Hee ran up to the 5 Kies. “What happened?”
Su Won shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. Ji Won was chasing Min Sung and kept screaming Mina.”
Kyung Hee stumbled back and Sung Hoon caught her. ‘Oh no, poor Mina,’ she thought. She turned around to see Sung Hoon looking at her sadly. Kyung Hee moved close to him and held onto him tight. Neither one of them lets go.

Part 34

June 16, 1999
It was 3 a.m. and Ji Won had lost Mina. As he chased her down the streets he lost track of where she ran off to. “Mina!” he continued shouting. His cries echoed throughout the streets. A lot of people heard him yelling. So did the Black Dragons.
Tae Won silently crept behind Ji Won. Ji Won was all alone. Tae Won gave an evil smile. He had a plan. He and his sidekick began to set up a trap for Ji Won, which they knew he would fall for.
“Mina!”
I covered my ears. I didn’t want to hear Ji Won’s voice. I was so confused. All I ever wanted was to be with Ji Won but now it’s all complicated. I leaned back against the alley wall. I needed time to think.
Ji Won ran through the alleys as he continued searching for Mina. Then he ran into Tae Won. Out of the darkness, Tae Won stepped out. “Looking for someone?” he asked.
“Yeah,” said Ji Won, glaring at him. “I’m looking for Min Sung.”
“The punk that stabbed me?” Tae Won asked furiously.
“Yeah.”
“I got him.”
“You do?” Ji Won asked surprised. “Hand him over!”
“There he is,” said Tae Won, pointing to a figure up ahead. From the back it did look like Min Sung but little did Ji Won know that it was all a setup.
“Mina?” Ji Won whispered as he approached the person. It was a Black Dragon member. He grabbed a hold of Ji Won around the neck and began shooting Ji Won continually in the stomach.
I looked out from where I was hiding when I heard gunshots. “Ji Won!” I screamed as I ran out from where I hid. My scream threw the Black Dragon member off guard. Seeing his chance, Ji Won grabbed the gun from him and shot him in the head. He fell to the floor dead. Tae Won started to run away but Ji Won aimed a shot directly at his heart. Tae Won fell down dead too.
Ji Won looked at me and then collapsed to the cold ground. He wasn’t able to hold on any longer. Rain began to pour.
“Ji Won!” I screamed, shaking him.
He was still breathing but barely. I lifted Ji Won up on my back and carried him to a nearby hospital. The rain drenched us and it grew hard for me to carry him because of the weight. However, I managed to make it. They rushed him into the emergency room.
Four hours later, the doctor came out.
“How is he?” I asked as I ran up to him.
“He was shot 4 times in the stomach region. As you know, a person needs at least one kidney to survive but both of his are destroyed. Unless we can find a donor, he’ll have to die.”
“Give him mine,” I told the doctor right away.
“Are you sure?” I nodded my head. “Because of your heart condition, if we have this operation that means you can die instantly during the transfer.”
I nodded my head again. “I understand. Please let’s have the operation now.”
They tested me and luckily I was compatible with Ji Won. Six hours later the surgery was completed. It’s a miracle that I’m still alive. I knew not for long though.
I woke up finding myself in a hospital bed with Ji Won on a bed next to me. He was still in a coma. I got out of bed and went near him. I stroked his hair gently as I bent down to kiss him.
“I love you Ji Won,” I whispered to him. Then I left the room, going to the last place I wanted to be.

Part 35

Ji Won began to wake up. He looked around and realized he was in a hospital room. Slowly his door began to open and the rest of SechsKies entered his room.
“Hyung?” asked Sung Hoon. “Are you okay?”
Ji Won nodded his head weakly as he pulled himself up. “I’m okay now.”
Jae Jin walked over to his bedside. “We’re so sorry Matthew hyung. We didn’t know what happened until this morning. We got revenge for you though when we wiped out the entire Black Dragon hideout.”
“It’s okay,” he told them softly as they all bowed down.
Then a knock came to his door. The doctor came in. “Oh good, you’re awake,” he said.
Ji Won looked at him. “Thanks for saving me Doc.”

“No need to thank me. Your girlfriend is the one who saved your life.”
Ji Won began to panic. “What did she do?”
“She could have gotten a chance to go to England to get a heart transplant but she decided to stay to give you her kidney instead.”
“The girl…where is she?” he asked frantically.
The doctor looked around the room. “She was supposed to be in here—“ Ji Won got out of bed and ran out of the room, leaving everyone staring after him.
“Hyung!” all the 5 Kies shouted but Ji Won had already left. He ran searching for Mina. He knew where she went.

Part 36

June 17, 1999
’Please let Ji Won be okay’, I prayed to myself silently. Hopefully my prayers will be answered. So is this the end? My heart never changed because it was still the same one I loved Ji Won with. I couldn’t bear the thought of trading it with someone else. I was so confused. Had I finished what I had really come for? What will happen to my love for Ji Won? I didn’t know these answers.
I felt weaker and my pen fell from my fingers. I stopped my story right there. Truth is, I didn’t know how to end it so I might as well leave it unfinished. I took off my cap and clothes. I was wearing a long white flowing dress underneath. It was the kind I always wanted to wear when I thought I was going to marry Ji Won.
My hair had grown out a little bit. It grazed my chin. I started to put on some light make up and combed my hair. I don’t know why I’m getting dressed up for but I knew I wanted to die looking like Nam Mina, and not Ahn Min Sung. I looked at my reflection again. ‘At least I look like a girl now’, I thought with a little laugh.

When I was done, I leaned against the hard rock and wrapped my arms around it, pretending it was Ji Won. Then I heard a voice yelling out my name. “Mina!” I recognized the voice. Ji Won. I smiled, knowing at least he’ll be the last person I’ll see before I go.
Ji Won looked around the beach and saw a figure in a white dress. ‘Mina,’ he thought as he ran towards her. It was Mina. He lifted her into his arms and onto his lap as he sat down on the rocks. “Mina,” he whispered to her and kissed her on the neck and face. Tears began to fall down his face.
All of my energy seemed to have been drained as I forced myself to open my eyes. My face felt wet but it wasn’t from my tears and it wasn’t raining either. My vision was kind of blurred and I couldn’t see Ji Won too well. I reached up to touch his face. It was wet. “Ji Won,” I whispered to him. “Please don’t cry. You’re scaring me. I’ve never seen you cry before.”Ji Won looked down at Mina, through his tear-filled eyes. “I’m so sorry Mina.”
“Don’t say you’re sorry,” she whispered back to him. “You’ve done nothing wrong.”
Ji Won shook his head. “I’m so sorry. You’ve done so much for me and I haven’t even realized it. I haven’t done anything for you except put you through a lot of pain.”
I reached up wipe away Ji Won’s tears. “I didn’t expect anything back from you oppa. But I want to know why did you leave me in Hawaii? I could have called the wedding off if you didn’t want to marry me.” I felt Ji Won’s grip on me tighten.

“I didn’t mean to leave you Mina,” answered Ji Won, his voice shaking. “I couldn’t take my dad anymore. My grandpa had given me his inheritance and I planned on taking you and Sung Hoon with me. I didn’t tell you about it because I was afraid you wouldn’t leave your family for me. When I came to your house to get you, my uncle’s men were there waiting for me and chased me to the docks. I escaped but I wanted to go back but couldn’t. I could have put your life in danger. This isn’t the first time I’ve cried Mina. I cried when I knew I was going to be separated from you.”
Despite the pain, I managed to smile. Ji Won didn’t want to leave me, I thought. “Look Ji Wonee, I’m wearing the dress I always wanted to wear if we had gotten married.”
Ji Won looked at me. “You’re beautiful Mina,” he said to me. “If everything would have gone as planned, we could have been married here in Korea.”
One thing was still bothering me. I think I managed to hold onto my life this long because of this question. “Ji Wonee, do you love me? I mean romantically, and not as your dongsang.”
Ji Won looked down at Mina. She was beautiful. His heart ached when he saw how pale she was. He realized she never did know that he had loved her all along. “Yes, Mina,” he told her. “I loved you since the first day we met. I loved you then and I had never stopped loving you.” He bent down to kiss her.
My heart was deepened to a warm bliss. Ji Won said he loved me, I told myself as I felt him kiss me. Then a cold realization washed over me but I didn’t really care. I always thought that I was hurt when I didn’t receive Ji Won’s love. Instead, I found out my pain came from when I didn’t give Ji Won enough love. I haven’t told Ji Won I loved him yet.
“Ji Won,” I said to him as he looked down at me. “Thank you for making my dream come true by saying that you love me. I know you’re lying and just saying it to repay me but you didn’t have to. I did it all because I—I—“
I was losing my voice. Not now, please, I prayed as tears fell down my face. I need to tell him before I go. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the white marble stone Ji Won had given to me when I was Min Sung. I pointed towards the ocean to make Ji Won look. I threw the stone with all my remaining strength. It skipped 3 times.
‘Perfect,’ I thought as I closed my eyes for the last time.
As Ji Won listened to what Mina was saying, he was stunned still. He couldn’t believe his ears. She thought he was saying he loved her as payment of what she had done for him. More tears fell down his face as he shook his head. Then when Mina pointed out to the ocean, Ji Won saw her throw the stone he had given her.
It skipped 3 times. I love you.
Ji Won smiled, knowing that Mina loved him too. He had known that she had loved him all along but she never told it to him either. “Mina, you don’t understand. I do love you!” he shouted. Then Ji Won looked down at her. She had passed on.
“Mina?”
He shook her gently. Her body was still and completely lifeless. “Mina!” he screamed in pain. He held onto her tightly, burying his face into her neck. He was crying so loudly and painfully that both their bodies shook.
Sung Hoon and the others finally made it to where Ji Won and Mina was. They circled Ji Won, who was bent over holding someone they couldn’t see.
“Hyung,” said Sung Hoon as he put his hand on Ji Won’s shoulder. “Are you okay? Where’s Min Sung?”
Ji Won lifted his head up and Sung Hoon saw who Ji Won was holding. He fell back into the sand shocked.
“M…Mina?” he asked in disbelief.
“Mina?” the others repeated.
“Min Sung is Mina?” asked Ji Yong.
Ji Won nodded his head. “She dressed up as a guy to join SechsKies to be with me.”
“You’re right, Mickey. Mina did love Matthew hyung,” said Jae Duc quietly.
Sung Hoon got up and hugged both Ji Won’s and Mina’s bodies tightly. “Why?” he asked crying. Everyone remained silent. Ji Won shook his head. He moved away from Sung Hoon and turned to face all of them.
“SechsKies is my family. You guys are all like my brothers. Please be my witness as I make this promise to Mina.” They nodded their heads sadly and listened.
“Mina,” Ji Won began. “When you were alive, I was never able to tell you that I loved you. Now that you’re gone, you don’t believe I love you. Even though I never showed you the kind of love you wanted me to, it doesn’t mean I didn’t love you with all I have.” Ji Won paused and yanked off the ring around his necklace. “With SechsKies here as my witnesses, I, Eun Ji Won, take Nam Mina as my wife ‘til eternity. I have nothing to give you Mina except my heart, which belonged to you from the first day we met.”
He kissed her lips as he slipped on the ring. The others watched him in silence. They were surprised when because of all the time Ji Won had been their leader, he had never used his real name Ji Won before. They knew he was serious. When it was over, Ji Won lifted Mina up into his arms as he stood up.
“As your leader, I have a final announcement to make. I am quitting SechsKies.”
“What?” they all asked in disbelief.
“Hyung,” said Su Won. “Please reconsider.”
Ji Won shook his head. “This is the second time Mina left me. I really can’t go on as your leader. The person I loved the most is taken away from me too soon and she died not knowing that I truly do love her.”
The others understood what Ji Won meant. Jae Jin walked up to Ji Won. “What do you plan to do then Matthew?”

“I don’t know,” he answered. I’ll be somewhere where I’ll always be with Mina and constantly remind her that I love her. And as for SechsKies, with all the money and businesses we have, I don’t see any reason why we have to commit any more crimes. We each have enough money to spend for the rest of our lives already.”They all nodded.
Ji Won placed a hand on Sung Hoon’s shoulder. “Sung Hoon,” said Ji Won.
“Yes hyung?” asked Sung Hoon. “If you do love Kyung Hee, tell her before it’s too late.”

Sung Hoon nodded. “I will.”
Ji Won looked at his 5 brothers for the last time. “This final meeting of SechsKies is now adjourned. I wish you all the best and hope you do find your true love because I have. Good bye.”
Ji Won picked up Mina’s book and scribbled something into it. When he was done, he placed it down back on the rock. Then Ji Won lifted Mina’s body up into his arms as he walked away.
“Hyung!” shouted Sung Hoon. “Where are you going?”
Ji Won continued walking and didn’t answer him. The 5 Kies watched their leader walk towards the sunset carrying his bride and disappeared. They picked up the book to see what Ji Won had written.

The last entry of Mina’s story was,

“True love never has an ending.”

[The End]

Love Stories by Max

2007-09-12T20:33:00.000+08:00

-= Chapter 1 =-
(The Beginning)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Destiny may lay our paths....
Fate may bring us together....
But only chemistry leads us on....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once upon a time, there is this guy call Jason....
He had this girlfriend, who is Steph and had a very good buddy who is Kevin... Now Jason and Steph are together for 1 year+ and are quite devoted to one another.... Although in between times, they had some small tiffs here and there.

Once when they were in school, Jason & Kevin as usual went for his practical class, while Steph went for her lecture as they were of different modules. As it is the start of the new term, everything is new, including the technician whose name is Esther. Esther is a former graduate of the course and is just doing the job as a temp one as she is going overseas to studies, lesson went on and during break time, all the guys in the cause were discussing about Esther....

As Jason had to do his final year project in that room, he starts to talk to Esther. "....so how old were u?" Jason ask Esther, trying to break the ice as they will be talking more often when he starts doing his project. Esther was just keeping mum bout everything.... and Jason just take it that she is just a 'dao' personnel and so did not bother bout things.
After a few sessions spend in the room doing he project, Esther finally went to talk to Jason, as she is quite bored of the work there, and so they started chatting...

Upon chatting, they found that they had quite a few things in common; they love to play games and they both listed a song as their fave song as they simply love the song, and so they started chatting...
"....So do u have any bf?" Jason asked out of curiosity, and as expected, she does have a bf.
"Well...What bout u?" she asked him back.

"I mah... u guess yourself lah...." ....at the same time, Steph came into the room and asked Jason if he is done with his work, and having done almost everything.... He went off with Steph, while biding goodbye to Esther....

A few weeks pass and Jason got to know a lot of Esther's lifestyle, and so vice versa for her.
He know that she is just working temp job as she is waiting to go overseas to further her studies, and she also heard a lot of Jason; complaining how tough his life is to juggle between work and studies to support himself...
Soon after, Esther has to meet her friends for lunch, thus leaving Jason alone in the room. While Jason is alone, he saw a handphone on Esther's table, knowing that it is Esther's, he decide to play a trick on her as she is the invigilator for a test later on that day....

It is 4pm and Esther stepped into the lecture room with the test papers and her handphone in hand, and soon the test started.... As usual, Jason finished the paper in just 1/2 an hour and promptly handed the paper over to Esther and went home.... On his way out to the bus stop.... Jason started to give Esther a scare by sms her..."
"Enjoy your time invigilating the students...hahahaha"
He is very sure that Esther will freak out as his no. is not in her phone no. list.
Soon after...Jason receive a msg.... "u must be Jason, right? How did u know my handphone no ?"
With a smug on his face, Jason replied back, "I anyhow guess...."
..little did Jason know that by replying this msg, it will be his turning point of his life...

Soon after, they begin msging through handphones ....no matter where they are; even if they r just separated by 2 tables, they are simply just talking bout everything under the sun.... Things seem so well for Jason with his new-found
friend, and even when he is out with Steph, he will still msg Esther and Steph being a 'vinegar pot'...will keep on questioning him who is it...but Jason will just say that it is just a friend, and things went on....

After a few days, Jason started to be confused.... Confused bout what is going on between himself and Esther... but he told himself to keep a straight mind; telling himself that this type of passion is just normal as when u found a new friend that u can chat... u will just stick to them for while... the passion will die off soon....

Deadline of the updating of project is near, and Jason still can't finish the project as both he and his project partner are both working till wee hours everyday.... So during lunchtime, he needs to find a com to type the stuff out.
Out of desperation, he went to the room and saw Esther, and next to her is her com, so he went to ask if he can use it....
"Can lend me use the com??"
...Esther replied, "By right hor, u cannot use as u r a student.... AIYAH... see u so kor lian, use lah~"
Without any doubts, Jason plumbs into the seat and started typing away. Just at this moment, Steph walks in and asked Jason if he want to go eat lunch with her, but as Jason is in a hurry to finish, he had to decline her. Steph without a doubt, turn straight to Kevin and asked him to go accompany her for lunch.
Kevin feeling hungry too and thus both left for lunch...leaving Esther and Jason in the room alone again....

While typing his report, he frequently felt that some person is staring at him, but all he did is just shrug away the idea and continue doing his work. Besides him, is a box of chicken rice, as he can't afford to waste anymore time, thus munching away while doing his report....
"OUCH!!" exclaimed Jason.
Esther turn her head around and saw Jason still typing away, but she could see that he is enduring some pain.
"What's happening?" She asked out of concern.
Jason just answered back that it is his wisdom tooth, as it has outgrown the area, causing his gum to expand. Sympathising him, Esther uses her soft small hand and touch on his cheek...
"....still hurts?" she asked, with uneasiness....
Jason slowly retreats to the corner and continues on typing without looking into the eyes of Esther....
"....not so bad now....as long as i dun use my right side of the teeth to chew" Jason says, still busily typing away....
"Anything I can get for u to ease the pain?" Esther went to the side of the monitor, trying to see Jason face to face...
"Well.... I hope that someone can kiss me to smooth and sayang it...hahahah" jokes Jason, and he prints his report out.
"DONE! Just now what I say is joking one leh, cause if I need a kiss.... I can always look for my gf...." Jason walks away while saying....

Evening has arrived and everybody is in a hurry to rush home.
Jason once again was left alone in the room, trying to do some more experiments concerning his project.
"I'm about to go off and I need to lock the room, so please hurry up...." shouts Esther from the dark room.
"Ok then, I'm done..." Jason clumsily pack his stuff into the bag.
Esther rushes out from the dark room and also flung her bag over her shoulder.
"Wait a minute... before we go... close your eyes 1st..." Esther said to Jason.
Expecting that Esther would want to get revenge on this morning "kissing" joke, Jason reluctantly sat on the chair and closes his eyes after much persuasion by Esther.
"Now what's up? ...We better hurry or I will be late for..."
...Before Jason knows it, Esther has caught hold of his neck and gave Jason a short kiss on his lips...."....
"....hope that can smooth and sayang your toothache..." Esther says in a cheeky manner and the whole world seems to stop in front of Jason.... He is more confused then before...

-= Chapter 2 =-
(The Coincident)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fate comes when u least expected it, and leaves when u most wanted it...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sitting on the bus alone, Jason's thoughts flooded his whole mind. He is unsure of what is happening, be it to him or to Esther. All he knows is that everything seem so fast and so true, so much so that he unable to pay 100% attention to his work that day and thus he had to ask for early leave home.

Back at his own bed, he switches on his handphone immediately.... msgs keep flooding his phone, it is from Esther, asking him how he feels now. Jason does not know if there is any extra meaning to it, thus all he did is msg back in a joking manner that he is alright now, just that he really can't open his mouth to speak.
There on his bed, his mind is still confuse...

The next day, Jason went to school as per normal, going to classes and doing his project.
Somehow or rather, he feel that everything inside him seem so calm whenever he took a step nearer to his project room...
"Hey! Why r u so sneaky?" came a sound behind Jason.
It was none other then Esther.
"How come lunchtime then come over? I thought this morning u only got 1 period of class?"
In a stuttering manner, Jason replied, "....erm... ah... I overslept and so never go for the class... also I had a dentist appointment later to extract my wisdom tooth...."
Esther's face suddenly had a beam of light on it...
"What a coincident, I took half day leave leh, want to go for some shopping one, but since u got appointment, I'll go with u...."in a manner of a mom telling her kid off...

Jason was shocked. How could things happen so coincidentally?
"aiyah... never mind lah... I can go myself, u go do your shopping lah..."rejected Jason, but Esther was persistent and finally, Jason had to give in.
"So later 2pm I go and meet u outside your class room, okie?"
"By the way, does your teeth need some more soothing?" Esther cheekily smiles....

-= Chapter 3 =-
(The Gift)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He who holds his own self in his eyes, but not the girl that he loves, has nothing....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back in the classroom, Jason was trying hard to concentrate for his lesson, but his mind is just so stubborn.
The one thing that's engulfed deeply in his mind; what's the relationship between him and Esther?
After what seems like a eternity, Jason's handphone beeps and he immediately read the freshly received msg.

The time strike 2 and the moment he steps out of the classroom, Esther was standing there waiting for him.
"Let's go..." as Esther tugged Jason's arm, following out of school and towards the MRT station...

In the dental clinic, Jason was asked to sit on the dentist chair, and the dentist begins working his hands on Jason's wisdom tooth. In between the mini operation, Esther's msg Jason from outside the room...
The msg read, "....actually... I had like u since the 1st day u talk to me in the room... I know that this seems very inappropriate as u have your own gf while I had mine.... But still, I find myself more and more inclined into loving u.... as days goes by..."....

Finally the wisdom tooth was extracted out, and the moment Jason walked out of the room, he noticed Esther gazing towards the outside of the window...
"....Ok... I'm done..." speaking in muffled voice due to the cotton wool held in his mouth.
Esther just kept quiet, busy replying msg.
J went over to the counter, after paying, Esther appears next to him, showing him a msg....
"Now let us play a little game, we shall communicate using handphone, cannot talk, if not must treat dinner, k?"
In a silly manner, Jason replied "ok...." and, that goes the game, and Jason's dinner....

While they were walking, Jason was thinking of what to eat for dinner, but before he could decide, Esther had msg him, telling him to eat liquid food, and so she held Jason's hand and brought him to a nearby food court buying him porridge...
"Since just now I tricked u, u no need to pay lah, take it as I treat u. Furthermore, the operation must have taken a chunk out of your pay, so dun spend any more money liao..." ....and after Esther finished her words, she held a spoonful of porridge to Jason and start feeding him...

After the dinner, Jason was feeling guilty as Esther had planned to shop instead of accompanying him to dentist, thus Jason suggested to go window shopping with Esther. As they were walking shop after shop, Esther was walking closer and closer to him....
....Finally...out of nowhere...Jason was holding... onto Esther's hand....

They continue walking till both of them came to a gift shop. (And females will always succumb to this type of shop, no matter where they are)
While they are window-shopping inside the shop, Esther saw a fluffy plush cat toy.
Screaming with joy, she immediately ran over and hug the toy.
"So cute hor, right? How come this toy cat and u this big cat is so different?" while pointing at Jason using the plush toy. The more Esther stands there playing with the toy, the more Jason's heart melt at her cute innocence...
He is speechless when suddenly he felt himself becoming very useless.
If everything is real, he will be betraying Steph, his wilful nature wins over....
Without giving any darn to the consequences, Jason spread his hands out and hug over her..
"Like it? If u like it, I'll buy it for u, as a compensation for spoiling your shopping spree.... With her eyes bright and shining, Esther replied....
"No need....I tomorrow go ask my bf buy for me..."after spouting this few words, she had a sorry look on her face, as though she is facing the same emotional struggle as Jason is having....
Putting a brave front, Jason replied with a tiny whisper, "k...." and starts to lead the way out of the shop, sending her home....

"So do u need me to pack your things for u?" Jason asked while packing up her room.
"Nah...I have packed almost everything already..." and there in her room, Esther is playing her favourite song, a song that will remain in Jason's heart forever...
Looking at his watch, Jason mumbled, "U sleep early ok? Tomorrow u still have to go to work early..."
And Jason left her house with an ample of sweet memories...

Later on that night, Jason was practically running towards his destination, he was trying to catch the 8:50 bus to reach the shopping mall before the gift shop closes.
However, when he reaches the shop, he discovered that he doesn't have enough money to buy the plush toy, which Esther was craving for.
Out of desperation, he ran across the street to a pub and start looking for his friend....
"Beng ah, lend me 40 bucks, tomorrow return u...."
After getting the money, he dash across the streets and back to the shopping mall, running all the way to the shop
Just when he reached there, he saw the owner of the shop pulling the gates down...
"Wait a minute! Uncle.... I just want get something for my.... for my.... gf, and it is very important, please uncle... just this once, ok?"
After a long pleading and begging session, the uncle finally relents and let Jason in.
Jason went home, thinking hard of a name to give to the plush toy cat...

-= Chapter 4 =-
(The Surprise)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't know about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, Jason woke up earlier then usual. He rushed all his way to school so that he can give her a surprise.... 7:55am... Just nice, all was going as Jason had planned, as he knows that Esther will not be there till 8:15am.
So all Jason did was to place the plush toy on her table and wander off to the back of the room where there is a window for him to take a peek...

Minutes pass by, the cigarette in Jason's hand was smoked to the butt, and Jason is anxious to see Esther's reaction.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, Esther appeared behind Jason.
"How come u so early today? I thought your class starts at 10am?" shocked by her presence, Jason remain speechless and stunned.
Esther poached her lips together.
"I thought u promise me u gonna quit smoking? How come u still holding a cigarette in your hand? Looks like I must thoroughly spot check your whole body now..."she said in a "angry" manner, at the same time stretching out her hand to Jason's back pocket to get the whole packet of Marlboro...

Jason then asked her how did she managed to find him there...
And all she reply is, "U have this unique body scent, thus I can smell u here..." pointing to her nose while confiscating his cigarettes...
"U MEAN I HAVE BO!" Jason exclaimed....
"No lah, it is your pheromone, I think only I can catch that smell..."she says cheekily.
"U haven't tell me yet.... why are u here so early? For what?"

All Jason can do is just point through the window, and the moment she saw the plush cat, she rushed in and gave it a big hug.
"When did u bought it?" she asked while playing with the plush cat.
"Last night..."Jason replied....
Esther gazed at Jason with her bright lovely eyes, and Jason could sense the happiness within her.
"Now must give it a name...Hmm.....Since your nick is big cat, I shall call this big cat junior!!!..."
And without hesitation, she gave Jason a big hug and a deep passionate kiss on his lips....

-= Chapter 5 =-
(The Lunch)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Somehow in fairy tales, ideals become real....
The cares and wiles of this world start to grow dim....
The harsh realities of the world become faded and dissipated....
....In the beautiful innocence of happiness, joy and childlike faith....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Due to amount of workload... Esther is feeling tired and thus she went to her desk to take a short nap while Jason continue on with his lesson. Soon, it's lunchtime and Jason is desperate for a smoke.
He jio his two buddies; Kevin and Alvin for a short puff.
"aye... give me a stick..." Jason asked Alvin.
"Wah... what happen? So unusual of u to not have cigarette in your bag leh..." and all these while, Kevin seems very uneasy. He's so unusually quiet and he doesn't even dare to look at Jason. All he did is busy typing his sms...

Soon after, Esther called Jason, asking if he is free tonight.
Without any hesitation, Jason agreed to go out for dinner with her
While on his way to lunch with Kevin and Alvin, Jason saw Gene(a very good female friend of Jason) and they started chatting together.
"U know what? Yesterday I saw Steph leh! That b*** went out with Kevin at orchard last night!"
Feeling surprise, Jason asked about more information.
"That b*** was talking to Kevin in a very affectionate manner, and I dare say that her flirting ways are back again..." says Gene impatiently.
G still can't forget that time when Steph maligned her for flirting with Jason and thus both females are at loggerheads.
"Anyway, i think this time round it will really be the end of u two lah... I won't be surprise if she is up to anything funny..."Gene said that and walked away.
Till this point, Jason also doesn't bother much about Steph, as he had already got used to Steph's filrting every now and then, thus, without any more thoughts, he walks off to have his lunch.

Time flies, and soon it's dismissal time. Jason had arranged it in such a manner so that he wouldn't clash with Steph, as he know that if Steph saw him going out with another girl, be it if he had informed her before hand, she will still kick up a big fuss; just like what she did last time when he was out with Gene back in those days.
After several minutes of waiting, Esther appeared in front of him.
"I can smell up your scent from far away..." Esther smiling cheekily.
Esther asked Jason what he wants for dinner and both of them agreed to go for Japanese sushi...

As Jason is very lazy, he intends to go home 1st and put his back and thus Esther tagged along to his house.
Just when he reached his house, Steph called him, "Dear... u at home? I'm near your house, want to go eat dinner together?"
Jason was stunned, but immediately with a calm voice, he replied, "No, dear, I had to rush some report, tomorrow must hand up one, so I bought dinner at home..." but Steph was persistent and said, "then y not I go your home and accompany u?"
Out of desperation, Jason had to spike up another lie to cover the 1st.
"Never mind lah, I want to finish this alone, as Kevin is not helping me out at all, so I must give in my full concentration..."
Hearing all these words, Steph reluctantly hung the phone...

Taking a piece of tamago sushi, Jason hungrily devour it, while Esther slowly ework on her cold soba (female all-time favourite, don't know y also)
Through her eyes, Jason knows that something is wrong with Esther, but he decided to keep mum about it unless she want to speaks about it.
"Just now is that your gf who called u?" Esther asked.
Jason nodded.
"So do I know her? Esther looked at Jason...
"Ya... U remembered this girl who is from another module? Not very tall, and has a blonde long hair one? That's her..."
Jason answered, while fixing his eyes on the upcoming salmon sashimi.
"Oh that's her, sorry to say this but I find her very irritating and b***y...." dipping her head down, as though it is her fault....
"Don't worry, I'm used to it, but I do love her... as much as to u...." as Jason says this, his tone gets softer.
Jason knows that it is wrong to 2-timed Steph, but he just can't stop himself from liking Esther...
"What about u? How does your bf looks like?" Jason asked back, trying to change the subject bluntly.
"Well, he's a student in NUS, studying medicine, and he is much older than me... Looks wise, he is very very normal, cannot fight with either u or Kevin or Alvin, but he dotes on me a lot..."
"Oh, I see..." Jason answered, taking a sip of the hot green tea, trying hard to act nonchalant.
"I tell u something u don't angry ok? This noon he called me, and I've told him bout our baby...."
"BABY!!!??!" Jason exclaimed in shock.
"Wait a minute, I'm referring to this big cat junior... U see, last night I told him about it and just now I say I had it already, and it is given to me by u..."
"Oh....I thought what siah, never do can have baby...chey..." Jason said in a casual carefree manner.

"After I told him about it, he seems very unhappy and he want to meet up with u, so that he can return u the money for big cat junior..."
Esther said everything out with one single breath...
Jason gazed back at her with his eyes protruding out.
"Well... what I can say is your bf is just too immature, does he thinks money can buy everything? Maybe he's loaded, he might be older than me and had a stable income, but his mentality of keeping a relationship is just not there yet..."
Jason speaks in a stern manner, as he was about to continue, he noticed Esther's remorseful look and thus he gulped all his words back into his mouth.
Trying to change the whole subject of her bf and Jason's gf, Esther said, "Do u know that I like u when u r serious, your command of language improve suddenly, the normal carefree u is so carefree until u really don't care about anything. I think I'm attracted to the serious u rather then the normal u..."
Esther tried hard to change the atmosphere around them, but the sense of jealousy of one can never be diluted with just few words
After the dinner, Jason sends Esther home, consoling her not to think so much...

-= Chapter 6 =-
(The Dilemma)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pain is temporary. Love is forever.
The tears that you've shed for your loved ones, in sadness, in despair, are nothing to be ashamed of....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back on his own bed, Jason was tossing and turning around, weighing out who he loves more.
Is it Steph, who had been together with him for 1 year+ or is it his new found love Esther, who is together only for 2 weeks? Jason is so confused and tired over it...

The next day, Jason woke up as usual, remembering that Esther is having a chalet with her friends, thus he can be free from guilt and spend the whole Saturday with Steph.
Picking up the phone, he called Steph and she immediately agreed to go out, meeting noon at his house.

What Steph and Jason did was quite routine and predictable; going for a movie, followed by window shopping; the usual things couples always do. But now, the unusual thing is, both of them are busy msging. Jason is msging Esther while Steph is msging some other people. Thus, they hardly talk during this outing.

Time flies and it is 6pm. Steph says she has to go home and eat dinner as her mom is cooking, so Jason sends her back home. On the bus, Steph suddenly turns to Jason and ask why he's so quiet today and who did he keep msging?
Facing this confront, Jason told another lie, claiming that this friend of his just came back from overseas, thus they had a lot to talk.
Jason assured her that nothing is happening.
But Steph, being her usual vinegar pot and sensitive female asked if she can take a look at the incoming msg to see who it is... Jason immediately says no and put his phone away from the reach of Steph.
Steph, feeling that Jason is so unusual not giving in to her, starts throwing her tantrum throughout the bus journey, and she never even bade goodbye to Jason when she gets off the bus...

Feeling so vexed, Jason decides to go and play some computer games, while halfway playing, Esther called him up complaining that she is bored of the chalet and asked Jason if he's interested in picking her up. Since there is not much time left between the both of them, Jason agreed so that he can spend the max. amount of time with Esther before she leaves for her overseas study.

After picking her up, Jason asked her what she want to do. Esther says she want to take a bath but don't want go home, as she is still supposed to be in the chalet, thus she suggest staying overnight at Jason's house...

Back at Jason's house, Esther had just finished bathing, and Jason is happily watching TV.
Esther sat next to Jason and decided to watch TV together.
After last night tossing and turning, Jason decided that it is time to make a break to this relationship, so he asked Esther, "Esther... if I want u now to make a decision to choose between me and your bf, who would u choose?"
Esther blatantly ignores Jason but Jason is finding means and ways to make her speak.
Out of desperation, he resort to tickling Esther, unable to stand the itch, Esther gave in, stared at Jason with sorrowful eyes.
"...I really don't know... I like both of u and I'm happy with both of u... I know it is very selfish of me but I wished u had never asked me this question just now...." holding back her tears when she said this words out...
Jason felt heartbroken, not because that she is unable to make a decision, but because he felt he is adding salt to Esther's wounds by asking the question.
"...But we can't stay like this forever... U being a 2nd gf of mine behind Steph back, while me, is just another substitute for your bf...." Jason whispered in Esther's ears, while giving her a warm smoothing hug.
"I know.... It is really very hard for me to make a decision cause I wished if we were to end this, I rather u make the decision... so that can at least feel better that i didn't hurt u...."

"...No matter who make the decision, there will be someone whose going to get hurt.... U, in the middle will hurt, choosing me will hurt your bf and vice versa... but it all depends on whether u are willing to bear with the damage or not..." Jason explain to Esther...

Esther replied, "...From u, I get all the happiness and security which I can't get from my bf, that I have to admit... As for my bf, we are so long together already, and I would be letting him down if I were to choose u... That's y it is so hard for me to choose..."
Sensing a ray of hope, Jason said, "...then have u ever wondered that u r staying with your bf because u r just used to liking him instead of truly loving him....?"
Esther just stayed quiet, tears can be seen rolling down the cheeks....
Jason hugged Esther again, and at the same time, using his fingers to wipe away the tears flowing down her cheeks...
"...Be it no matter what, as long as u haven't make the decision, I will not give in without a fight.... That u should know it..." Esther nodded her head, "Just give me some more time and maybe I can sort it out.....?"
Esther rests her head on Jason's warmth chest. Soon, she stopped crying and falls asleep in Jason's arm...

-= Chapter 7 =-
(The Tear)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Guy said, "I promise I'll never make my loved one cry for me."
Girl replied, "But my tears are only meant for the one I loved..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Morning has dawned and Jason is together with Esther on the beach, holding each other hands and looking at the sunrise. Esther has woke up in the middle of the night and since Jason house is near to a beach, she suggested to go to the beach and view the morning break sunrise together.

"So when are u leaving?" Jason asked Esther
"...Somewhere in another month time...." Esther hung a frown on her face, "but before I leave, I want u to do something....." requested Esther.
Jason looked at her with traces of suspicion. "I want u to get a new bed, your old bed is so small to fit u n me, u know? I wonder how do u n Steph...." ...she stops until here, without saying a word....
"Ok, I'll change it, provided when u r with me... and both of us stop talking about our next half, deal?" Jason replied with a forced smile on his face
Looking at Esther, Esther turned back, "deal" and both of them had a long, deep passionate kiss...

Back in school, Jason continues to work on his final year project as Kevin hasn't been helping him out for a long time, Jason reckons Kevin must be too busy with his own work so he decides to do all the thing by himself.
While he was rushing, Gene came in and saw Jason, together with Esther helping Jason in an intimate manner...
"Wah.... so my good old darling here has finally found a someone new... good for u...." Jason turns his head in embarrassment and look at Esther.
Esther immediately walked away.
Gene sat down and start to chat with Jason, "Darling, u got find anything funny about Kevin this few months?"
(Jason and Gene are not romantically involved with one another, they just like to call each other darling for fun.)

"Kevin? Well.... I think this few months quite busy with his work, as he hardly helps out with the project but never mind lah, he's is in a worse state than me as he is also supporting himself alone by working part time.." Jason giving his point of view.
"Oh..... I see I see.... oook... " Gene saying nothing and continue to help Jason.
"Then what about that b*** of yours leh?"
"Erm... she's also busy with the final year project lah as her's is not done yet i heard, speaking about that, how come all of us are so busy yet only u so eng?"
Jason asked Gene, "Oh, no lah, cause mine is almost done liao mah and mine is not done in here too, is at the same room with that b*** of yours..."
"I see..." Jason exclaimed.
"Pardon me for saying this lah, these few weeks hor, I saw that b*** going off quite early leh and got once u know what I saw? I saw Kevin sending Steph home with his bike leh..."

Feeling nothing wrong with it, Jason just shrugs it off.
"Aiyah, maybe it's along Kevin's way mah, just send her home lor.... Nothing wrong one lah..... Kevin told me before that Steph is not his type and furthermore, I trust he would not be so despicable to snatch his buddy's gf one, no matter what happen..."
With that in mind, Gene kept quiet and went on to help Jason.
Esther came back, seeing Gene still there, went back to her office in a playful mood.
Gene went over to Esther and started talking to her and Gene seems very amicable to Esther thus they started gossiping..."Actually lah, tell u all the truth lah, both of u the relationship is actually a well known secret liao.. but relax... my module doesn't know anything yet.. So just keep it that way and it will be fine lah... oh.. Got to go for my lesson liao... buai..."and with that Gene rush off for her lesson, leaving Jason and Esther in the room....

As time goes by, Jason spent more and more time with Esther in the room, he would always sit next to Esther in her office using the com and Esther will just likewise sit close to him, occasionally holding his hand or leaning against him.

Deadline of stage 2 project is due soon. Jason need to get pictures of his own project to submit together with his report, but due to his laziness, he don't know how to use the machine which is inside the darkroom and thus Esther had to lend him a hand.
When they are inside, Esther gazed at Jason's tall built figure and Jason is feeling very ueasy.
He asked Esther, "Why stare at me like that?"
Esther replied, "I'm afraid, afraid that when I'm gone, to other country to further my studies... I would never see u again...." speaking until here, Esther is choking on her tears...
"Don't be silly, Didnt I promise u that during the holidays, I'll make a trip down to visit u? U also promise me that once u got your phone, I'll be the 1st on your list to call?"
"I'm putting alot of trust in this relationship... although......."Jason looked away, pretending to meddle with the camera.
Esther reached out and hug Jason and she felt water droplets dripping onto her fine silky hair.
She was shocked, as she never imagined that a guy like Jason would actually weep over a relationship...
Although it was dark, she can imagine the expression Jason has and how determine Jason is towards this relationship, this just make Esther love Jason even more and Esther gave a short kiss on Jason's lips, promising him that what he said just now would be fulfilled.

After finishing the picture taking session, Jason walked out of the dark room without showing his face to Esther
At the same time, he saw Kevin walking in getting ready for lesson and he also heard Steph talking to her friends outside. Esther pretended as if nothing had happened and proceeds back to the office.

"Kevin! gia..Let's go for a smoke..." Jason shouted to Kevin while throwing a glance at Esther. Determined to hide everything, he went to Esther and tells her off that he is of no concern to her so whether he smokes or not is not up to her to decide. But Kevin just sat rooted to his chair, reply a no to Jason without looking at him.
At the same time... Steph came in....

-= Chapter 8 =-
(The Suspicion)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Love is all about giving and sacrificing, not conquering...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steph immediately ran to Jason, holds his hand, and at the same time, cheekily pull his ear; scolding him why so long also never call her or go out with her. Jason, on being a peaceful guy, just let her do whatever she wants. Steph finally stop pulling his ears and demand Jason not to go to work tonight so that he can accompany her, and thus Jason agreed to it but not before throwing some glances over to Esther, noticing her jealous face...

After school ends, Jason walked out of the room.
Instead of Esther, Steph is standing there waiting for him to go for dinner. Just as they are walking., Jason's handphone starts to beep and soon he is engrossed in msging Esther again. The same goes for Steph, however, this time round, Jason decided to kpo and see who she is msging.
Jokingly, he ask Steph who it is that she has been msging so frequently. Steph was stunned as Jason had never asked her about her social circle of friends before.
"Herm.... aye.. u don't know one lah... second school friend..."
"...oh is it?" Jason proclaims, but nothing can stop a wily crafty Jason now, holding Steph's hand, he took her for window-shopping. As what he had planned, he had Steph leaning against the mirror and from the reflection he finally saw the number on the handphone...

Jason heaved a sigh of relief, as the number appeared is not Kevin's handphone no.
Jason then brought Steph to shop. Maybe it's due to his guilt; normally he would hardly buy so many clothes and accessories for Steph, but for that day, he brought her many clothes and other stuff.
Steph never suspect anything, thinking that maybe he has changed to treat her better and thus all she just bought whatever that she wants...

As days goes by, Jason is counting the number of days he is left with Esther, less than 2 weeks and she will be gone.
Esther will make time out to accompany Jason and to juggle between him and her bf.
Once, both of them were walking hand in hand in orchard when suddenly, Esther saw two of her good friends. Immediately, she shrug her hands off and ask Jason to avoid walking towards them.
At that moment, Jason was feeling very frustrated, but all he can do is to buried the sorrows deep inside his heart.
In order to avoid them, Esther and Jason walked into a sport shop, pretending to shop for shoes.
When Jason saw a soccer jersey and like it almost immediately.but he do have the money to buy as his pay wasn't in at that point, when suddenly, from Jason's corner of the eye, he saw Steph, walking together with Brad, who is a classmate of his... and behaving intimately....

-= Chapter 9 =-
(The Jersey)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't know about tomorrow...
I just live from day to day...
I don't borrow from its sunshine...
For its skies may turn to grey...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason wanted to walk up front to confront Steph, but he knew that situation does not allow him to do so. All he can do is just standing at one corner... and watch.
After Steph amd Brad walked off, Jason came out of the shop with Esther.
He realised that thing isn't that simple afterall. He then remembered what Gene had told him before... but all he cares for now is to spend more time with Esther....

After doing some shopping as well as hide and seek with Steph, both Jason and Esther were feeling hungry and so they decided to went for dinner, just as they were deciding what to eat, Esther recieved a call.
After that call, she looked at Jason remorsefully, "My bf just called... he booked a table at mandarin hotel for both of us to have dinner...." Jason knows that it is time to bid good bye for the day. He kissed her on her lips, at the same time, asking her not to worry so much...

After biding goodbye to Esther, Jason went around frantically, searching for Steph and Brad.
Finally he found her at a sushi bar and Brad is feeding Steph with an unagi sushii. All of which is seen inside the eyes of Jason. He held his temper on, telling himself that maybe they are just close platonic friends.
Thus he waited on and continue to follow them wherever they go, until when Brad sends Steph home.
At that point of time, Jason couldn't hold on anymore as he has seen enough. He saw Brad holding Steph's hands and giving a goodnight kiss to Steph...

Jason wanted to step out and confront her, but he knows that they will ask him how come he's there
So all Jason did is to walk away, smoking his cigarette, thinking of what he can do.
He tried means and ways to comfort himself, giving reasons that is unaccepted by anybody. But he don't care, he just want to keep a blank mind about everything now..... except for Esther...

Upon reaching home, he took a hot bath to cool down his feelings and thoughts, but he just couldn't calm himself down. When all of a sudden, his handphone rang, it is Esther.
He immediately picked up the phone and started chatting with her, telingl her what he saw and asking her how is the dinner with her boyfriend. She just kept very quiet, then she asked Jason if she can go over to his house?...

Half an hour later, there is a knocking on the door and Jason opened the door with ethusiasm.
There stood Esther, out of nowhere, she took out a paper bag and handed over to Jason.
"Go and try it out...." Esther whispered.
To Jason's surprise, it is the soccer jersey that he saw just now....

-= Chapter 10 =-
(The Third Party)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason looked at Ester with a dazed look. He never expected Ester to buy the jersey for him...His heart is even more confused than before? Does he really love Ester? or?

Ester urged Jason to try the jersey on. Jason halfjokingly said he needs help to try it on. Ester reached out for the jersey in Jason's hands, and helped him to try it on.

'Looks great on you!' Ester said.. Jason looked at Ester, his heart already touched more than a million times... Jason then proceeded to
hold Ester's hands and say' I really appreciate it'. Ester replied' i knew you will like it!'

It began drizzling outside... 'It's getting late, why not you stay here for the night' Jason suggested to Ester.
"is it convenient?" asked Ester. 'No problem, my parents have went oversea and will be back only next month'. Ester considered for a while: should she stay or leave? If stay, will it be a betrayal to her boyfriend? 'Ester, i miss you' says Jason, and proceeded to kiss Ester passionately onn the lips. "Clack', at this moment, the door opens...

Stef was standing at the door, shocked and heartbroken by what she saw....

=Chapter 11=
(The discovery)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jason quickly let go of Ester. Stef was speechless at what she saw.
Jason also did not know what to say. Some things are not meant to say now.
But he knows that his heart is divided between Ester and Stef, and he had to make a choice then.
Jason knew that this was it-the moment of inner confrontation.
He finally mastered the courage to force himself to say’ Stef, I do not like Ester at all! I was playing along with her as she keep pestering me, and she initiated the move’, while saying this

After a moment of silence, Jason noticed from the corner of his eye that Ester kept quiet, with a glimpse of tear on her beautiful face.
‘Yes, I was the one who pestered your Jason! I will not pester him again!’ Ester hastily walked to the door without turning back and left…

Outside the rain was getting heavier.

-=Chapter 12=-
(Confusion)

What is love all about?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jason did not know what to do. He was lost for a moment in his own world. He did not notice Stef walking towards him…

‘Piak’ the slap woke Jason. ‘Why did you go for a fling outside? Who do you really love? Answer me!’ screamed Ester as tears rolled from the corners of her hurtful eyes.

‘Stef, I did not... Ester has been pestering me for a long time, I had wanted to get rid of her a long time but she clings on to me like a leech, Today she said she would commit suicide if she could not see me! I had no choice’ Jason tried to explain, reaching out his arms to embrace Ester, who was red eyed. ‘I promise to keep off contact from her from now onwards ok, I swear! Please trust me the last time!’ Jason used his innocent eyes to try his best to say he was innocent from the staring to the end. ‘Muack’ Jason kisses Stef on the lips, and one thing led after the other. Soon they were on the bed,’ I promise to love you for the rest of your life’ Jason said. Being soft hearted, Stef relented….

The next morning, Jason sent Stef home. Stef was in a happier mood today. She told Jason to keep his promise.

“What should I do now’’ Jason pondered, clearly confused as to who does he actually love. STef was his first love and were pretty and looked the perfect girlfriend.
With Ester, it was another totally different feeling. Ester brought sunshine to his life, he really felt happy when he was with Ester and believed ester felt the same way too.

‘Ring Ring, Ring Ring……. Jason tried to contact ester on her mobile…

On the other end, Ester was sitting in the living room, eyes still red and swollen after a night of insomnia from the dilemma if whether to continue with Jason. She also felt comfortable with Jason and felt he was the right guy for her. But is she doing the right thing, is she being a third party? She looked at her mobile, it was Jason calling…. Should she listen? Ester fingers with the phone and finally against her wished, pressed reject call…

‘Beep, please leave a voice message after the tone.’ Jason could not reach Ester...

-=Chapter 13=-
(fate crossed lovers)

Chasing love may bring much disappointment... Chasing love may bring pain... yet... yet love is worth every single one of the sacrifices you make... isn't it? For without love, what more are we than mere automations?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s 4am in the morning. Kevin was smoking at the void deck, thinking of Stef. Stef is a nice girl…with all the sleeky curves and angelic face.. Which guy in this world doesn’t want her? Yet am I wrong to go out with stef? Stef is Jason’s gf. Will I betray him? Will this affect our friendship if he knows about it? What will he do?

“You are always gonna be my love, Itsuka dareka to mata koi ni ochitemo” Kevin’s line of thought was awaken by Hikaru’s ringtone of his handphone. Kevin cursed. Wtf call me so late, basket!

Answer?~~~~~~~~~~
Answer?~~~~~~~~~~
Answer?~~~~~~~~~~

Stef! Kevin saw who it was, and quickly pressed yes. “Kevin… Jason have a girl in his heart, sobs.. he bullied me....can we meet up.. c you at old pace,k?” As Tomorrow was Kevin’s offday, he was eager to meet Stef, although in Kevin’s mind, he knows that Stef does not treat him well, only a part time bf.. Kevin changed to his tshirt n jeans and took a cab down to meet Stef at the ‘lau di fang’

When he reached Stef’s void deck, Stef was already there. Stef had red swollen eyes. “Kevin, I missed u….” , and hugs Kevin, who was a bit taken aback. “Don’t u miss me?” asked Stef “Jason that playboy, he cheated me of my feelings, and toyed with another girl..sobs... Kevin embraced Stef, who was now practically hugging Kevin tightly. “Stef, what happened” and Stef told Kevin all about Jason and Ester..

It was 7am. “ Let’s go for breakfast at mac” Stef agreed and kissed Kevin on the lips.”Muack, this is for u, thanks for being with me” said Stef, with a naughty look on her face… Kevin kissed her too.. then after breakfast said goodbye to stef, who took a cab home.

Even though Kevin practically didn’t sleep the previous nite, he was still very happy that Stef came and find him.. even though he knows that Stef may not have true feeling sfor him, he dont mind. The thought of just being with Stef made him happy, that he can even ignore about Jason's feelings totally."when will i c stef again" pondered Kevin

-=Chapter 14=-
~~~~~~~~~~
(Memories of the beach)
If someone comes into ur life & becomes a part of you but for some reasons she couldn't stay don't cry too much... Just be glad that ur paths crossed & somehow she made you happy even for awhile... Time will tell... If she's yours she will surely come back
~~~~~~~~~~

Jason went to the beach today and thought about his relationship with Stef and Ester. Who is truly his love? Stef seems cold sometimes, yet Ester is the one who he feels always happy with. Is this what we call love? Jason still remember how he n stef met…

“Hey Jason” Jason looked around, oh it’s kevin. “what’s up dude”asked Jason. “today first day of school, must go bio the chio bus ok? Get a gf lar, or else no face lei,..” grinned Kevin

It was the first day of jc1. Jason n Kevin managed to clear their “O” levels n went on to sajc..It was a totally new environment. Jc life was.. much more freedom than sec sch.. the campus was bigger too, and more girls to bio, haha..

Still in their sec sch uniform, Jason n kevin happened to be in same orientation group. “come let’s play the musical chair” Alex, their OG leader, tells the group to play ice breaking games..

“dun want lar, so boring!” Jason said loudly.. nevertheless he joined in.. the game started. When the music stopped, the parcel landed on Jason’s lap. The rule is whoever gets the parcel when the music stop had to do a dare or truth. Jason chose ‘dare’. He opened the paper n saw this message

“ Kiss the girl who is sitting on the left of u”

!!! Liao liao! Jason said, he didn’t really go n look around who is his og friends yet.. Now he glanced at the girl sitting on the left side of him…

What Jason saw was a beautiful girl, fair skinned, and slim.. “ waiting for what!” Alex exclaimed…

“You dun mind me kiss u lightly on cheek, k” Jason tells the girl

The girl shook her head..Jason proceeded to peck the girl on her right cheek, and he saw a slight red flush on the girl’s face…as he kissed..

“I’m Jason, u r..? sorry just now.. erm u know, play gameslar..”Jason try to talk to the girl who he kissed just..

“I’m Stef”….from then on, Jason got to know Stef and become friends..

“can we meet this Saturday?” asked Jason when he met Stef 2 weeks 5 days later, in school after Jason’s guitar lesson...Stef say ok… meet at beach 5pm…

It was Saturday.. Jasin did not want to be late, he left his house at 2pm.. n reached the beach at 4.35pm..his heart was pumping.. he knew he had a crush on stef, and stef had given him a chance by agreeing to meet him.. this was his chance! Let everything goes well, he hoped,..

“Hi..!” Stef’s voice startled Jason out of his thoughts. “did u wait long?” asked Stef. “ok lor” when Jason had actually waited for Stef 50 minutes… they sat at the bench n chatted till sunset. Jason found Stef to be very chatty, n then they felt hungry.. at 8.15pm, they left the beach n went Mac to grab some food.. then later Jason sent Stef home. “I enjoyed myself today” says Stef with a smile… “Me too” Jason smiled back.. From then on, Jason dated Stef a few times, and finally on 14th February 1998, after one year of courtship, Jason managed to win Stef’s heart..

This is the beach where Jason n Stef first met…
Time goes by..Back to the present.. Jason sat at the same spot where he first met Stef, and tears flows to his eyes, when he thought of what has happened so far…

-=Chapter 15=-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The unexpected call

++ What do u do when u find out that the person that u love most has decided not to be with u? ++

‘Ring Ring…Ring…”

“Who’s that” Jason answered his mobile. “Hi! Is this Jason?” a soft lady voice spoke over the phone.

“Ya speaking. Who is this?” Jason asked...

“I am Stella, ester’s good friend. She asked me to tell u something...” Stella hesitated to carry on…

“What is it? Just say it” Jason sensed something is amiss…

“Er...ester she asked me to inform u that she has left Singapore, and will not be back...” Stella spoke with a sad tone...

“What! Are you serious?” where is she now?” Jason’s mind was thinking about Ester now…

“She has left”… Stella said…

“When?” Jason urgently asked…

“Just only”….she will be taking the 9pm flight, a terminal one tonight to New York. Actually she told me to call u after she leaves Singapore, but she has told me about u and I feel that if u now go and find her back, u will still have a chance… KAP! The line went dead. Halo Jason r u there??? Halo…” Stella encouraged Jason. But Jason had already hung up...

It was already 8.35pm.Jason started his NSR SP150 and speeded all the way from the west to change terminal…clocking 170km/hr. It was the fastest he had ever speeded on the expressway. “I have to make it n see ester!” Jason hoped that he can reach the terminal in time…. “Vroom! Vroom…”the throttle kept turning..

-=Chapter 16=-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The departure
++ Leaving you is for the good of both of us. I do not want to drag any more and hurt the three of us…)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason checked his watch [8.55pm] He had reached the terminal, and now struggle to find his way to find Ester. Ester had apparently cancelled her handphone line. Now Jason is like looking for a pin in a haysack…5 minutes before the plane leaves..

Ester where r u? Jason’s heart was in a daze now. How can u say leave then leave? Have u ever spared a thought for me? At least we can talk things out.

Jason ran from one end to the other, trying to look for ester.

“attention all passengers of flight 5632 to New York, last reminder” please alight now, the PA sounded.

“Flight 5632, ya! It may be the flight ester is taking!” Jason rushed to the departure area.. hoping to c ester..

No sign of ester…maybe she boarded the flight already? Oh god, at least let me c her! Jason now panicked, n he tried to convince the staff that he had to look for an important person in his life.

He was refused entry….

Just then, he heard a plane take off….he looked at his watch

- 9pm –

Jason stood rooted, tears flowing to his full faced Arai helmet, his heart shattered by the thought of ester gone from his life..

-=Chapter 17=-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The departure

+++ Leaving you is for the good of both of us. I do not want to drag any more and hurt the three of us…)+++

Jason sat down at the terminal, thinking that Ester is now gone forever from his life. He kept blaming himself for the departure of ester. It’s his fault that he did not make efforts to keep ester… quietly Jason’s tears kept flowing silently till they dried.. When the tears dried, his heart had become numb to pain of loss… He didn’t go home till the next morning…

~~~A few days later...

he received a letter. His heart anticipated, hoping it was from ester. Maybe ester didn’t leave Singapore after all? A 1% chance of hope flashed across Jason’s mind. He started to read the letter...

Dear Jason,

“By the time u has read this letter, I have already left Singapore. I have seriously considered our relationship, and I think it is best if I leave u. leaving you is for the good of us. I do not want to drag any more and hurt the three of us…
I have really been very happy during the times I spent with you, and I know you feel the same too. These beautiful memories I will keep and cherish in my heart. Time will pass, but I will remember…Don’t bother to look for me. I will not be returning back to Singapore. (Jason’s eyes are blurred again by his watery tears)

Forget me and stay with stef. She is a nice girl. Forgive me for my departure.

Do take care always”

With Love,
Ester…

-=Chapter 18=-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The aftermath

The poison of the heart is not knowing what one wants… True love is hard to find. What is love?

Jason spent the next days by himself alone, deep in melancholy. Many questions flashed across his mind. There are many things he wanted to ask ester, but what difference will it make now? She has already left. He felt emptiness and loneliness in his heart. Walking along the beach, he asked himself is he to blame for ester’s departure? Should he continue with Stef?

After many days of loneliness, Jason wanted to let the past be bygone and continue with his life again. The pain is still in his heart, but he hoped that time will reduce the pain...

He knew that he could not be with stef anymore as his heart can only be with ester. Even though ester had left, he still had hope that they will meet each other someday someplace.

“Stef, I have something to tell u” Jason finally mustered his courage.

“What is it” stef replied

“Stef, I have to be honest with u. I was seeing someone when I was together with u, and I realized that my heart is with her. I couldn’t stop myself from thinking of her. I am very happy when I am with her” Jason tried to say in a calming tone...

Silence...no reply from stef

-=Chapter 19=-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
++Hurt++

Stef couldn’t accept what Jason tried to tell her…she left with tears in her eyes...

‘What I have done again? Why do I always make girls cry? Am I really that bad? I just have to make a choice. By telling stef how I feel, it will be fair to her. Short pain is better than long pain. Dragging on to both parties will be just hurtful and painful to the heart.’ Jason wondered ..

A few nights later, Stef called Jason n said that she couldn’t bear to lose him and she will take 5 boxed of sleeping pills if he doesn’t come to meet her..

“Stef, are u ok?’ Jason met stef at the old place..

Stef was apparently pale, looked like she didn’t sleep for some nights. The moment Jason spoke, Stef threw herself into Jason’s arms and sobbed..

“ Please don’t leave me can? Stef sobbed uncontrollably….

Jason did not say anything, he hoped that Stef can find solace in his arms….

“ I had to let u know. It would be unfair to u if I had another girl in my heart” Jason told Stef

“ I don’t mind, what’s in the past let it be past. I still love u and I hope that we can still be together” Stef said in a choking voice..

Jason was confused.. He knew that stef had seen other guys when he was together with her. This he can forgive also.. But then what about ester, the girl who stole his heart? Jason wanted to give in, n try to work things out. After all, he n stef had been together for quite some time…BUT he knew he will not.

“ We can remain as friends” Jason told stef, w/o looking into her eyes, as he is afraid to c her tears again…

“NO! I still love u!” stef hugged Jason n kissed him on his lips…Jason tried to stop himself from kissing. He kept his lips shut, so he could not feel. He did not stop stef from kissing him as he thought that this is the last thing he can give to stef..

Stef sort of realized that Jason is adamant to leave her…Finally she let go of Jason…she looked into Jason’s eyes….
“ I have to leave. You must take care ok? “ Jason this time finally turned himself away from Stef and walked into the rainy road slowly.. He knew that this was it. Every step brings him further away from stef. Yet he knew he must do it.

“Jason!” stef shouted

Jason was tempted to look back and embrace stef one last time, but he didn’t; step by step, he reached the main road, where he took a cab home, tears welling from the corners of his eyes…

-=Chapter 20=-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ester?
++Love will not wait. Memories will stay in the heart.++

It’s been 2 years since the departure of Ester.. Jason had graduated, and he was waiting to ORD, and enter uni that year. He had been sent to CDO camp and the training had gruelled him into a fit and a man who can think on his feet.. (Skipped the army part to concentrate on the love part)

Today was Valentine Day 14/02. Jason spent his time in the shopping malls, trying to reduce the pain in his heart. But all he saw was couples behaving mushy mushy in their own ways.. Mistake.. he shouldn’t come out today,, coz he was single and seeing the couples made him remember the times he spent with ester…window shopping, Jason saw the pooh bear, which brought him memories…

“Jason I really like this pooh bear, so cute just like u!” ester said…

“erm… m I that round?” Jason said…

“ u say lei? Ya lor keke…” Ester grinned

such was the days when he was together with ester

“ ouch!” Jason heard a woman yell, followed by “piang, poom”

Jason turned his gaze to the direction of the sound.. A woman had just dropped her files and she had fallen down…

Jason retrieved her files and tried to pass it back to the girl, who had her back towards Jason.

“ thank you” The girl turned and faced Jason.

For a moment, Jason was stunned. The girl had a remarkable resemblance to ester. but the girl did not seem to recognize Jason..

“ester? Jason asked..

“har? ‘ the girl replied…

“ I think u got the wrong person, but anyway thanks for helping me to pick my files

“ oh…it’s ok..” Jason replied, still having a gazed look on his face. He just told himself there are many people who look alike to one another..

-=Chapter 21=-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
dreams are made of these
++my love is all I have to give++

valentine day…

Jason dressed in his smartest suit and sprayed some cologne on his clothes.. Today is valentine day! Yes! He can spend a whole day with ester, a whole day, can u imagine!

They fixed at 2pm.. city hall control..

Jason arrived early.. there were not much pple at the control.. maybe it was still early and the crowd will come later in the evening.. Jason was excited. He had bought a meteor ring for ester, to show his love for ester. it was a beautiful ring. he had specially sought out many shops to get it. he had also a matching one, just sizes are bigger. He wore size 8, while the size 6 ring was meant for ester…

Jason checked his watch. 2.30pm.. it was unusual for ester to be late.. maybe she was caught in traffic jam, he thought to himself.. while imagining happily how ester will feel and react when she wore the ring later…^_^

3pm..ester finally arrived. Ester was ravishing, and looked absolutely fabulous in that pink skirt of hers..

“sorry for being late, had my hair done at reds, there’s a long queue” ester said

“its ok.. ‘ Jason replied

Then they proceeded to see a movie, then after the movie a candlelit dinner..

Ester, u look great today! Jason whispered…

“Thanks! u too! Ester blushed…

soon, it was night.. ester and Jason went for a stroll at botanic gardens.. they found a bench and sat there to chat..

“ester I have something for u” Jason grinned

“what is it?” asked ester

“ close your eyes first” don’t open k” promise?” Jason said

“ok, promise’ ester closed her eyes..

Jason then took out the ring from his pocket and put it on Ester’s right ring finger..

“ wow! That’s beautiful” ester smiled happily…

“ I love u ” Jason then gave ester a peck on her cheeks..

what a wonderful feeling.. being together with someone u love and being loved in return….the scenery was getting blur

ester tried to say something to Jason, but somehow Jason couldn’t hear what ester was saying…Jason thought it was ester trying to form the words: I love u too” judging from her lips expression..

ester then kissed Jason on the lips… French kissing………………………………

-=Chapter 22=-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
++2nd chance?++

I love u ester…Jason felt cotton on his lips.. it was

A dream… a beautiful one that is…

He was actually kissing his pillow~! Can’t imagine it man! A big man kissing a pillow?

Jason didn’t want to wake up from this beautiful dream.. He wanted to stay in that dream and replay the times his n ester spent together…

Haiz.. that was just one of the many dreams of ester Jason still have ..

Jason picked up drawing recently. He liked to draw portraits of pple, as he realized that portraits of pple brings out the soul in them.. he had drawn many portraits of ester, and one of stef…

Jason also thought about the meeting with ‘ester’ at the shopping mall that valentine day. is she ester? But she claim she don’t know me.. ha-ha.. I must be dreaming too much recently.. it’s been 2 years.. I must have recognized the wrong person…

Jason drew a portrait of ester based on his memory of ester.. ester was so demure. He longed to tell her once again that he loved her. These 2 years, attempts to contact her proved to be futile. Jason didn’t give up at all.. even if ester found a new bf, he still wants to meet her.. then only Jason will be happy.

One day..

-=Chapter 23=-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
++why must fate play on people who love each other? Tell me why???++

“remember me? I am Stella…” Jason answered his phone..

‘Stella…Stella….oh I remember! U r ester’s friend! Suddenly Jason feel hope rising…

“ how’s ester?” anxiously asked Jason…

Silence at the other end of phone.. halo halo? Jason thought his phone not working properly..

‘ya.. I called to tell u about ester..”..stella sounded sad…

“there are good and bad news..” which one u want to listen first? Stella asked

“good news lor.. quick!” Jason said

“the good news is that ester had returned to Singapore”

‘really! Where is she now? Have u met up with her?” Jason can hardly contain his excitement…

“wait let me finish first..” Stella sounded a bit irritated for being interrupted abruptly..

“ I have not seen ester,.. but she sent me a letter 6 months back saying she will be returning to Singapore.. that was the only time I received any news from ester. but she didn’t call me, n her old contact is not valid anymore..” Stella said

“ then what is the bad news?” asked Jason….

“ in her letter, ester mentioned about her life , and she said that she actually missed u a lot when she was overseas.. and she wanted to c u… she hoped to meet up with u when she returned to Singapore…then..” Stella hesitated..

“ tell me, Stella, what happened” Jason is very concerned now..

“ ester.. she mentioned something..” Stella is still reluctant to say what did ester day in the letter..

“ tell me please, I long to hear news from her, be it good or bad, I can take it!” Jason anxiously awaited Stella to continue..

“ester..she..she…. mentioned that she is suffering from an illness that causes her to forget things.. she suspect it is brain tumour..at this point Stella broke down..”

Jason was shocked. cannot believe what he had just heard
__________________
-=Chapter 24=-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
++The Reunion++
my wish granted…. Ester n Jason

Jason was lost… he asked Stella is it confirm that ester had brain tumor.. Stella said that ester has gone for a medical checkup which is pending results..

the second time he met ester…

Jason was quite of a loner nowadays.. going out by himself alone.. seldom with friends.. coz he wanted to be alone by himself..

he went to a church, and met the girl in the pooh store..

“hi! I am Jason, r u new here?” Jason asked..

‘ester’ looked at Jason n nodded…

‘ester’ came alone to the church apparently..

‘do u mind if I sit down beside u?” Jason asked,

‘ester’ shook her head..

: what’s yr name?” Jason asked

“ ester” ‘ester’ replied

Jason was convinced that this is the ester he had been waiting for, judging from the way ‘ester’ talks and he can still remember the mole on her right cheek, which this ‘ester’ also have.

soon the church session started, and they don’t have much chance to talk to each other..

-=Chapter 25=-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
++pain++
pain is temporary?

ester asked to share jason’s bible.. jason agreed, and took out his bible to share with ester.

Jason glanced at ester many times..

Soon the church service was over…

‘go for lunch?” jason asked ester.

‘ok…’ester replied

‘ ester, do u know me?jason asked, hoping that ester will.

“ ya,u r jason right?” ester said. ‘that’all I know about u”

“do u recall we met 2 years back?” jason asked

“no..”
Jason felt very sad that ester cannot remember who he is. Jason’s heart felt pain, akin to that being stabbed by a sharp knife. What happened? Is it because of the brain tumour thing?

Tears flowed from the corner of jason’ eyes…

“what happened? Why r u crying? R u feeling sad? Ester asked..

Jason don’t know how to reply ester..” oh… my eyes are sensitive.. sometimes tears will just flow..”

-=Chapter 26=-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
++I tried..++

jason tried to revive ester’s memory, but to no avail so far.. they will meet at church every Sunday…n jason will try to talk about things that happened between him and ester … but ester seemed not to remember anything at all…

‘ remember this?’ jason asked

“ pooh bear.. very cute lei” ester smiled..

“ do u remember u say me very cute like the bear? Jason asked..
“ no…” ester said..
: how come u keep saying that we know each other in the past and I have no memory of that at all..” ester asked..

“I think is because of the brain thing..” jason replied with sadness

ester said her head hurts when she tried to think of the past..jason asked her ot to think. And jason tried less to bring back the memories..jason really hoped that God will perform a miracle and save ester. He is willing to sacrifice himself for the return of ester;s memories..

++it is a very sad thing indeed to watch someone u love not responding at all to your actions and feelings..the pain, the hurt and the tears..++

ester also told jason that she is suffering from a brain disease.. n she had an operation before.. she thought it was cured, but it returned again…now she is working to raise the money for a second operation in Singapore..

jason thought that he can help.. so he took up many jobs to try to raise $ for ester;s operations..

day n nite he slogged.. he doesn’t mind tiredness.. and juggling schwork with his jobs.. he just wished that he can manage to raise the funds by next year..

the amount of the operation is not small..

-=Chapter 27=-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
++I don’t know about what is going to happen and I can only hope for the best....++

recently stef contacted jason, and asked to meet up. Jason agreed. He wondered how stef is..

at coffeebean… ‘hey u look tired..’ stef smiled at jason

‘u still look as pretty as ever, now got stead ya?..” jason asked..

“ya.. now I am with peter…” stef said…

++to jason, stef is now only a friend n he sensed that stef has let go of the past.. he is really glad for her and wish her happiness always..++

-=Chapter 28=-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
++The end....++
May all find their true love…

As jason is typing this, he seeks peace and solace in his writing and his thoughts about his love ester, and the past of stef, and the betrayal of kevin… Jason knows that there will be a time when ester will recognize him as he was to her before.. but he doesn’t know when it will come. Also the operation has its own risks.. there is a chance of death from overbleeding.. jason hoped for the best. He knew that God has helped him by bringing ester back to his life. And he will cherish her, now and forever. If ester still cannot remember the past after the operation, then jason will just accept as it is and try to chase ester all over again. There are many ‘ifs’ in Jason’s mind.. but he doesn’t want to think about it..

Jason hopes that his story will inspire couples in love to always cherish and treasure each other, not take each other for granted and maybe there will some of u who have found yourself in similar situations. What I can say is that do not worry. There will be a time for everything. There is no need to find that someone for God will bring him/her to u.

I have cried many times and spent countless sleepless nights. Sometimes I cannot focus on my studies too, juggling both work and studies. But I have accepted it. Love is unconditional.

Will I continue this thread? I don’t have an idea, because the future is unknown. I am also afraid of writing things that may turn out to be sad. Tomorrow is Sunday.. I will meet ester for the third time..

What makes me write all this in one shot? For me, I will have to go to a dark place soon. And I will not be able to post in this forum anymore. I feel sad, yes, but I have to go. Truly a man’s strength is in his will. I will try to overcome this darkness in this period of unrest.

The hurt and memories remain, but there will be a future, a future for both ester and me.

[The End]

The Gift - Short Story by Jo

2007-08-29T22:44:00.000+08:00

[Part 1 ~ A New Friend]

One late night, in a chat room...

[Dreamy]: Hi there!

[Lost_girl]: Hello

[Dreamy]: Care to chat with me?

[Lost_girl]: Okie

[Dreamy]: Intro of yourself?

[Lost_girl]: 25f/chi/sg and u?

[Dreamy]: 32m/chi/sg

[Lost_girl]: Oh okie

[Dreamy]: Well i hope u dun mind chatting with an old man like me

[Lost_girl]: hmmz dun say tat..u are also not tat old

[Dreamy]: Thks! So are u working or still schooling?

[Lost_girl]: Im working as a clerk and u?

[Dreamy]: Ok for me, I do sales. So wat brings you here tonite?

[Lost_girl]: Ermm i juz kinda bored and looking for nice people to chat with

[Dreamy]: hahaha so have u found any? Better beware..lots of wolves in here to cheat girls like you.

[Lost_girl]: lolx dun worry im old enough to know wat I am doing. Well I guess I found one nice guy and right now he is chatting with me! heehee

[Dreamy]: haha i might be a wolf in sheep clothing too

[Lost_girl]: oh then tats too bad

[Dreamy]: Oh I forget to ask wats ur name?

[Lost_girl]: My name is Mel. And wat about u?

[Dreamy]: Nice name there. My name is Jacko. Really nice knowing u!

[Lost_girl]: Thks! Nice to know u too

[Dreamy]: So never meet ur bf tonite?

[Lost_girl]: Nope im single BUT unavailable

[Dreamy]: HA! Did I hear you right? Y unavailable? Opps sorry! Hope you dun mind me asking

[Lost_girl]: Just wish to be single. Perhaps I maybe happier tat way. Maybe is my past relationship kept on haunting me or should I say I juz lose faith in relationship. All I know for sure is as long as I dun step into one, chances of me getting hurt will be 0%.

[Dreamy]: Mel im sorry to hear that.

[Lost_girl]: Its okay! No worries. And u? still single?

[Dreamy]: Yes im just waiting to meet the right girl. As you know, im of certain age. I got no more youth to waste. haha

[Lost_girl]: Well im sure u will meet the right girl one day! All the best to you!!

[Dreamy]: Thks Mel! Im sure you will find your happiness one day too

[Lost_girl]: Thks Jacko

[Dreamy]: Well sorry I gtg. Care to keep in touch?

[Lost_girl]: Oh ok but how? We exchange email address?

[Dreamy]: Surez my email is dreamy@hotmail.com

[Lost_girl]: Okie I will email you soon. take care & good nite

[Dreamy]: Ok i be waiting for your mail, take care too & gd nite!

Logging off...

[Part 2 ~ Getting to know more]

Few days later...Early morning, Mel sat at her desk, turned on her pc and started to check her email as usual. Just then, she suddenly remembered Jacko. She had promised to email him but all these days, she was so busy with her work that she didnt even have the time and totally forgotten about him. She decided to send an email to him...

************************************************** ************************

Hi Jacko,

Im Mel! Hope you haven't forgotten who i am. Im sorry to keep u waiting for my email coz im kinda busy these days. So, how have you been? Hope everything is well on your side. Got to get back to work now...hear from u soon. Bye!

Regards,

Mel

************************************************** ************************

Later in the evening, Jacko replied back to her email....

************************************************** ************************

Hi Mel,

Its really nice to hear from you again! I though you have forgotten about me. hahaha... Wanted to email you but i forgot to ask from you the other day. Must admit that im getting old already, so i could only wait for you to send me an email first. Yup, everything is fine on my side..thks! So hows ur day today? Maybe you can tell me more about yourself? Looking forward for your mail!
Byeeee...

Jacko

************************************************** ************************

Mel and Jacko email each other almost everyday and this went on for almost half a year. Everyday, they just look forward to check their email! They shared a lot during these few months and realised that they actually share a lot of common interest. Although they have just known each other, but to Mel, Jacko was just like an old friend!

Jacko finally asked Mel for her contact number. All along, Jacko wanted to do so but was afraid that Mel might turned him down. But he decided to give it a try and Mel did gave her number to him. Since then, Jacko called and chat with her almost every night.

Mel really enjoyed talking to Jacko.

One night...

[Jacko]: Hello..

[Mel]: Hello...

[Jacko]: Wat are you doing?

[Mel]: Nothing..just reading magazine and listening to some music in my room. And u?

[Jacko]: Me? Im thinking of you lor...tats y i call you! hahaha

[Mel]: heehee...u sure have a great sense of humour!

[Jacko]: What makes you tink that im joking??

[Mel]: Ermmmm...

[Jacko]: Haha..okie im just joking with you! Hope you dun take it to heart! Btw, are u free this
Sat? Shall we meet up?

[Mel]: Hmmmmz... im sorry! I have something on this weekend already

[Jacko]: Its okay! Can only blame myself for asking late. Next time i will get a queue number first. So if i really ask you out, will u do so?

[Mel]: Ermm..it shouldnt be a problem! I promise i will meet up with you soon k!

[Jacko]: Oh really? Glad to hear that.

[Mel]: Yah, its a promise!

[Jacko]: Its getting late, i tink u better sleep early. I shall not disturb you any further...

[Mel]: Okie..u have an early nite too! Have a nice wkend! Good nite and sleep tight!

[Jacko]: Good nite, Mel! Sweet dreams to you! Byeee

[Mel]: ByeeeThat Saturday, Mel was out at a cafe chatting happily with her friends. She decided to get herself another drink so she went up to the counter and started queuing. In front of her stood a guy with his group of friends. "Mel" shouted one of her friends, get me one drink too! The guy in front of her slowly turned back...

[Part 3 ~ An old friend]

"Mel?" said the guy..

"You are...." said Mel"I'm Shawn, your secondary school friend!! Remember??? said the guy

"OH!!! Yah, i remember now! No wonder you look kinda familiar..." said Mel

[Shawn]: Is it i become more and more charming already that you dun even recognise me? haha

[Mel] *Blushing*...

[Shawn]: You still look the same to me but more and more pretty huh? Muz be lot of guys going after you??

[Mel]: hahaha... you really do know how to sweet talk ah! Still like old school days, always so
popular and surrounded by girls?

[Shawn]: Well...okie lah but still, i didnt manage to win someone's heart mah!

[Mel]: Too bad for you then! Ermmm..i got to go! My friends are still waiting for me...we keep in touch again?

[Shawn]: Yah surez! I guess fate brought us together again huh? Whats ur number?

[Mel]: ahahaha...Here's my number! Byeeeeee

[Shawn]: Okie, will call u again and catch up some other day! Byeeeee

Mel was really happy to meet Shawn! Shawn used to be someone whom she liked a lot during secondary school days! Although Shawn also got feeling for her but somehow, they never started the relationship at all!

One late night, when Mel was about to go to bed, her handphone rang...[Shawn]: Hello.. Mel.....Mel....

[Mel]: Hello..Shawn?

[Shawn]: Mel...I'm...I'm Shawn...

[Mel]: Shawn..are you okay? Why you sound so funny??

[Shawn]: Why...Why? I... I...

[Mel]: What happened? Are you okay? Where are you?

[Shawn]: Im.. Im...at River Point...the view here is really nice Mel! It really is!!!

[Mel]: Shawn, u stayed there! I be right over!Mel quickly changed and took a cab down to River
Point. Inside the cab, her handphone rang again...

[Jacko]: Hello.. u sleeping already??

[Mel]: Ermmm...I....I'm still outside...

[Jacko]: So late le..you are still outside??

[Mel]: Yah..my friend ran into some problem... now on my way to meet my friend..

[Jacko]: Oh okie! Its very late now already..do be careful ya?

[Mel]: Okie thks!

[Jacko]: Call me again when you reached home later? Dun get me wrong..just being concern as a friend and i have something to tell u...

[Mel]: Yah i know... appreciate that Jacko! Okie i will call u back later..

[Jacko]: Remember to call me hor! I be waiting....

[Mel]: Okie...byeeee

[Jacko]: ByeeeMel reached River Point and saw Shawn sitting by the stairs with many cans of beer lying around him! "Shawn" said Mel.

When Shawn saw her, he put his hands around her and hug her closely. He started to cry while resting his head on Mel's shoulder. Mel never image that Shawn would hug her this closely before...

[Part 4 ~ I'm Sorry]

[Shawn]: Mel... its so nice to see you once again... I really..like..like...you!! Can you dun leave me pls?

[Mel]: Shawn, you are drunk!

[Shawn]: NO! IM NOT IM NOT!! Do..Do.. you have feelings for me too? Im sure you have or you wouldnt rush down like this...

[Mel]: I did that because you are my friend and i dun want anything to happen to you. If this give you a wrong idea, then im sorry!

[Shawn]: Why you just refuse to give me a chance Mel? Why are you so cruel to me? I know in the past, i was a flirt but i have changed! Still..still...you dont wanna accept me..is this fair to me??? At least give me a reason...

[Mel]: Ermmm...you...you will never understand! Sometimes things happened without a reason!

[Shawn]: What must i do to prove my love for you?

[Mel]: Nothing... dun be silly Shawn. Arent we better off as friends like this?

[Shawn]: NO! I want you to be my girl...not my friend!!!

[Mel]: Shawn, i guess you are really drunk...why not u rest for a while?

[Shawn]: No...No...i dun want...

[Mel]: Please.... listen to me for this once can?Mel sat there with Shawn lying down on her lap. It really breaks her heart to see Shawn like this. Deep inside her heart, she knew that she still loved Shawn alot!

As much as she wanted to be with Shawn but she sees no future together with him! Shawn couldnt even provide her with the basic sense of security that she needed the most!

She knows Shawn too well...given his character, watever he wants, he will always strive very hard for it and the harder it is to obtain, the more he will find means of way to achieve it! However, he also get sick and tired of things easily!

Mel didnt want to be hurt by somone whom she loved so deeply so she choose not to step into this relationship. She choose to suffer all this by herself. She had to hide her feelings in front of Shawn no matter how much she liked him..

She rather keep Shawn as a friend for a lifetime than to lose him for good! Mel didnt sleep for the whole night and early next morning, she saw the most beautiful sunrise.. one that she would never forget in her entire life!

Perhaps it was because Shawn was just beside her..somehow the sunrise was much more beautiful than ever before...

[Shawn]: Mel? Ermmm...sorry! Your laps must be numb after one whole night...

[Mel]: No its okay! Are u okay??

[Shawn]: I guess im having a very bad headache...

[Mel]: You wait for me a while...i be right back!

[Shawn]: Mel...Mel...where are you going??Few minutes later...

[Mel]: Nah, put this ice on your forehead, you will feel better and finish up this cup of hot tea!

[Shawn]: Thks Mel..tats very nice of you! And btw, i was so drunk last nite.. thks for taking care of me... hope i didnt scare you off...

[Mel]: *Sneezing* No..dun mention it!

[Shawn]: Oh no! You must have catch a cold last nite! Im so sorry to make u fall sick because of me!

[Mel]: Its not your fault, dun blame yourself! Im always been tat weak...

[Shawn]: Come, lets go! I send you home and you have a good rest and dont go to work today!

[Mel]: Okie..let me call back to office and inform them first...

Mel tooked out her handphone and saw "20 missed call'' ; ''8 unread messages''. Just then, she realised that she had forgotten about Jacko! She opened up the message and read...

[ lst message: Mel..you reached home already?
2nd message: Its 2.30am now..where are you?
3rd message: Im still waiting for your reply... call me back pls...
4th message: Can you at least reply me back something? Im kinda worry about you!
5th message: Its 4am already..i still cant sleep coz u havent call me back yet! Have u forgotten?6th message: Mel...actually i want to tell you that i be flying off to Perth this morning for business trip. Its a last minute decision..I be away for 2 weeks... can i at least get to hear from you before i leave?
7th message: It's 6.30am now...im at the airport already! Im still waiting...
8th message: Well... im going off now...looks like i dun have the chance to bid goodbye to you! Take care girl! Bye! ]

[Shawn]: Mel...u okay? You dun look too good! Wats wrong?

[Mel]: Ermmmmm...Noth..Nothing!

[Part 5 ~ The Surprise]

Mel really feel bad towards Jacko! But she just dont understand why Jacko was so good towards her. Afterall, they are just friends who have never met before! Mel didnt want to think much either coz in her mind now, memories of what happened last night kept flashing inside her head. However, in the end she decided to send an email to Jacko...

************************************************** ************

[Hi jacko!

I dunno whether you will get the chance to read this email when you are in Perth. I just wanna say I'm Sorry! Sorry to keep you waiting the other night..sorry to make you worry about me.. sorry for not returning your calls and sms..i had my own reasons..hope you will understand! hmmmz...so when are you returning back to Singapore? Maybe we can meet up soon after you return back to Singapore...guess i owe you a treat coz i really feel so bad! Take it as my way of saying sorry to you! Anyway u take care. Bye!

Regards,

Mel]

************************************************** ************

Few days later....

************************************************** ************

[Hi Mel,

Im really so happy to hear from you again! Glad that you are alright! Well..you need not feel bad about it...say till so many times sorry! It's okay girl! I understand... Will be back in Singapore next Sunday at around 7pm! Well...im really looking forward to meeting up with you! Finally got the chance already..so looks like all the waiting that night was worthwhile...hahaha... And of cse i wont let a girl treat me on a first meet up session. The treat will be on me instead! K then, i gtg! U take care too....

byeeeeeeCheers,

Jacko]

************************************************** ************

That Sunday @ the airport...Mel had came to the airport to give Jacko a surprise! She knew his flight had landed and she took out her mobile phone and called him...

[Mel]: Hello...

[Jacko]: Mel!! What a surprise...

[Mel]: Ermmmm...where are you now?

[Jacko]: Oh! Im still at the airport...i just reached not too long ago. Why?

[Mel]: Actually..I'm...I'm...at the airport now...

[Jacko]: What?? Hey Hey you must be joking with me right?

[Mel]: Really! Coz i plan to give you a surprise..I see you at coffee bean in 10 minutes time k?
And btw, I'm wearing a blue top and holding a Cleo magazine!

[Jacko]: Oh okie...see ya! Byeee

[Mel]: See u...byeeeAt Coffee Bean...

[Jacko]: Ermmmm..hello? Are you Mel?

[Mel]: Errr...Hi! Jacko??They finally met each other face to face! Jacko could hardly believe that the gal sitting right in front of her was Mel! She was so beautiful... he knew that it was a love at first sight!

To Mel, Jacko was a fine looking man...he didnt look like he was in his thirties at all..she had a rather good impression of him too! They sat there and chatted for a few hours...

[Mel]: Its getting late! I tink we better go...i guess you must be tired also after your flight too!

[Jacko]: Its okay! Let's go..i send you home first...

[Mel]: Errr...dun need to trouble you..u still have all those suitcase with you..i can go home by
myself...

[Jacko]: No, pls let me send you home! At least we shared a cab and i see you till your house downstairs then i head home from there...is that alrite?

[Mel]: Well...okay if you insist!30 Minutes later...

[Mel]: Okay..i reached home already! Thks for sending me home..

[Jacko]: You are welcome! My pleasure...

[Mel]: Good nite...bye

[Jacko]: Err..Err...Mel? Can i get to see you again soon??

[Mel]: I...I...cant really promise you coz im rather busy lately! I let you know again?

[Jacko]: Surez! Good nite...byeAs Mel walked to the lift, she saw a familiar figure standing there...

[Part 6 ~ The Departure ]

[Shawn]: Mel...

[Mel]: Oh Shawn! What a surprise..what you doing here?

[Shawn]: Errr..I..I.. Who is the guy who send you home just now? You are seeing someone already?

[Mel]: No..No..he is just a friend of mine..

[Shawn]: Well..dosent really matter if he really is your boyfriend..i feel happy for you and at
least i be able to leave Sinagpore at ease!

[Mel]: Leave...Leave..Singapore?? But why? Where are you going Shawn?

[Shawn]: Im be going to Australia for further studies and i might not come back anymore. Thats the reason why am i here today coz i ought to let you know...

[Mel]: Not..not coming back anymore?? When are you leaving? (Mel was trying hard to hold back her tears)

[Shawn]: I be leaving in one week time. Mel, im glad that we never started a relationship together...or else i cant imagine what will happen to us now...looks like you made the right choice.

I also didnt wanna hurt you. Thats why all along i never force you no matter how much i love you! As long as you are happy, i be happy for you too! Mel, do take good care of yourself, you have always been weak since school days...hope you will soon find someone better than me to take care of you for the rest of your life and most of all, promise me that you will lead a happier life ahead!

After that, Shawn turned and started to walk away. Mel ran towards him and hug him from behind! She didnt said anything to him..tears just kept rolling down her cheeks. She knew that she didnt want Shawn to go...

but still, she was in no position to stop him from leaving!

[Shawn]: Mel...please dont cry..it really breaks my heart to see you in tears! I wouldn't bear to leave Sinagpore if i see you like this....

[Mel]: Shawn... promise me that you will continue to keep in touch with me even though you are there okay??

[Shawn]: Okay, its a promise!

[Mel]: Can we meet up for one last time for dinner before you leave Singapore?

[Shawn]: Ermmmm...okay!The night @ the dinner...

[Shawn]: Wow Mel, you sure look very nice today! Know you for so long already, didnt know
that when you doll yourself up, you can be that pretty...

[Mel]: *Blushing* Thks..so wat time is your flight tomorrow??

[Shawn]: Its 7.15am in the morning...

[Mel]: Oh okay...can i come to send you off??

[Shawn]: No...No...you better not, dun get me wrong..i just dun want to have the feeling of cant bear to leave you...so i guess that its better that you dun come...

[Mel]: Okay if that is the case, i respect your decision...

[Shawn]: Mel...can i asked you something??

[Mel]: Yes?

[Shawn]: Have you ever fallen for me before??

[Mel]: Ermmm...No

[Shawn]: Okay thks for the honest ans..i really hope that ans is from the bottom of your heart! Mel, i just wanna let you know that i wont forget you in my entire life no matter where i am.. meeting you was the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. The memories we had together will always stay within me... will u miss me??

[Mel]: Yes i will... I...

[Shawn]: That answer is good enough to keep me going when im over there.... can i have one last goodbye hug from u??

[Mel & Shawn] *Hugz*Mel was trying hard to hold back her tears. She wanted to tell him that she love him but it will only add on to his misery and beside he is leaving already..they wont have a future anymore so she rather keep that answer inside her heart.

That night, Mel cried herself to sleep...

[Part 7 ~ The Misunderstanding ]

Its been a while since Shawn left Singapore but he was constantly on Mel's mind.
And one day...

[Jacko]: Hello...

[Mel]: Jacko?

[Jacko]: Yes! Is me..how are you? Been a while since we last meet up..u free later??

[Mel]: I...ermmmm...

[Jacko]: Well...is okay if you are not free..can always make it another time...

[Mel]: Hmmmz...no im free... can you accompany me to a place??

[Jacko]: Okie surez..i pick u up in half an hour time...

[Mel]: Okie see ya..byeeee

[Jacko]: ByeeeeHalf an hour later...

[Mel]: Hi..sorry to keep u waiting!

[Jacko]: Its okay! So where do u wanna go??

[Mel]: Can we go to River Point??

[Jacko]: Oh okie....are u alright? You look kinda down..wat happened??

[Mel]: I'm.. i'm fine...

Mel was back to River Point once again..the place where she was with Shawn the other time.. all the memories just started to flash back and tears started to roll down her cheeks.. she missed Shawn deep inside her heart.

Jacko didnt know what happened to Mel but he believed that if Mel want to share her problem with him, she will.. so he never kept prompting her about it. He just stood there quietly to comfort her.

As time goes by, Mel and Jacko became more and more closer friends. Jacko really liked Mel a lot but he dont know whether Mel will be willing to accept him anot? In the end, he still decided to confess to her on her coming Birthday...

************************************************** ************

[Hi Mel..

.How have you been? Im sorry that i took so long to contact you coz i busy coping with my studies down here. I hope everything is well on your side! Btw, your birthday is coming soon.. what do you want me to get you from here?? And i got a good news to tell you...i be on vacation soon so i might fly back to Singapore to stay for a while...im really looking forward to see you again Mel! Do take care!

Regards,

Shawn ]

************************************************** ************

Shawn didnt know what can he get for Mel. Just then, he walked past a shop and something caught his attention!

"Wishing Star for SALE...Wish for Eternality with your Love Ones!" It was a very beautiful shooting star pendant but the cost of the pendant was equipvalent to buying an air ticket back to Singapore.

So, if he bought the pendant, he wont be able to go back to fly back to Singapore to see Mel. Still, Shawn decided to get it for Mel coz he knew Mel will love it for surez!

************************************************** ************

Hi Mel,It's me again. Jus wanna tell you that i wont be going back to Singapore anymore because something crop up the very last minute. Im really very sorry! Hope you are not too disappointed!

Take care..bye!Regards,

Shawn

************************************************** ************

Indeed, Mel was really very disappointed.
She thought that at least she will be able to spend her birthday with Shawn but looks like all her hopes were gone!

She knew that she has lost her position in Shawn's heart coz she just couldnt understand what was most important than coming back to Singapore to see her??

In the past, no matter how busy, Shawn will always make time for Mel but now....

*ring* *ring*

[Mel]: Hello...

[Jacko]: Hello Mel! wat are you doing?

[Mel]: Im checking my email...

[Jacko]: Oh icic... errr...err...this Saturday is your birthday rite? Are...are you free??

[Mel]: I.. ermmmm...shouldnt be a problem coz i dun tink i have anything on already...

[Jacko]: You sound very sad..is everything alright on your side??

[Mel]: Im fine...thks!

[Jacko]: Okie glad to hear that...just remember that anytime you need a listening ear..can give me a ring k?

[Mel]: Surez...tats very sweet of you!

[Jacko]: Then i shall not distub you further more, do have an early nite and i see you on Saturday! Nitez

[Mel]: Okie...good nite!

[Part 8 ~ The Birthday Celebration]

The day arrived. It was Mel's birthday. She was waiting for Jacko to pick her up...

[Jacko]: Hi Mel... sorry to keep you waiting...you..you look really beautiful in that lovely dress!

[Mel]: *Blushing* thks...so where are we going??

[Jacko]: Keep it a secret first..y leh? You scare i sell you away ah? haha..

[Mel]: i never thought of that lor..but now you mention it, i'm having a second thought.

[Jacko]: Well...its too late now...hahahahaJacko bought Mel to a resturant that was near the beach. He knew that Mel always love to hear the sound of the waves and be under the stars so the ambience was just perfect!

[Mel]: Jacko, im impressed! This place is really very nice...

[Jacko]: Glad that you like it!!! Come, follow me, i got a surprise for you!

[Mel]: Wats that??

[Jacko]: Just follow me...Mel just could hardly believe what she saw! Jacko lighted up the fireworks pathway for Mel to walk through while he sang her a birthday song! At the end of the pathway was a table with a small birthday cake lighted up with candles! The cake was obviously a home made one...Mel was moved to tears...

[Jacko]: Mel, i hope you dun mind..this is the first time i try to bake a cake...hope it didnt look too horrible... and as you walked through the pathway just now, you noticed that the fireworks started to extinguish after a while. I know that you been kinda down all these while, i just hope that all your sadness will be gone just like the fireworks sparks and let me be with you through your ups and downs from this moment onwards...can i???

[Mel]: Jacko... i... actually inside my heart, there is someone that i had not forgotten completely.. i wanna be fair to you... i need time...

[Jacko]: Mel... i understand but i dun mind! Even though you might not love me whole heartedly now, i believed that as time past by, with me, you will soon forget about your unhappy past and i will slowly take time to fill up your heart completely with all my love! I swear by the moon with all the stars as my witness that i will love you with all my heart...Will you give me this chance??

[Mel and Jacko]: *HuGz*What more could Mel asked for? Jacko was always so understanding and caring towards her. Mel had a very unforgettable birthday celebration with Jacko! When Mel reached home, she saw a parcel lying on her bed........

[Part 9 ~ The Gift]

Slowly, Mel unwrapped the present. She saw the pendant sparkling right in front of her eyes... it was the most beautiful pendant she ever seen! Then, she saw a card beside it...

[ Hi Mel,

Firstly, I like to wish you a very Happy Birthday! Im really very sorry that i couldnt come back to celebrate it with you. You should know the reason by now! How nice it will be if im there to wear the necklace for you and see your beautiful smile once again but i could oni blame myself for not saving enough money all these while when im here! Nevertheless, i still hope that you will like the gift and may your life sparkle as bright as the star! Miss ya! Take care...bye!

Regards,

Shawn]

Mel was lost for words when she finished reading the card! She misunderstood Shawn all along.. she really felt very bad...all along she thought that Shawn didnt care about her anymore and just when she wanna give up thoughts about him, she found out that actually Shawn still cared about her...

she was feeling very lost especially now when she just started to be with Jacko...

[Hi Shawn,

I really dun noe wat to say! I liked the gift very much...thks! Why are you so silly?? You could have just make a trip back to visit ur family and frenz during your vacation ..im sure they miss you but yet you choose to buy tat gift for me and now, you gotta spent your vacation all alone there...i really feel so bad...izzit worth doing all these for me?? It issnt Shawn..and there is something that i ought to let you know...

im already seeing someone else... so dun waste all your efforts on me anymore... i really appreciate watever you done for me in the past...take care too!

Bye..

Regards,

Mel]

Mel didnt really wanna be that harsh to Shawn but that was the only way to let Shawn get over her and for her to get over Shawn as well!

She couldnt take it anymore..she didnt want her feelings for Shawn to be growing deeper and deeper since there wasn't any chances for them to be together anymore...

[Mel...

Im glad that you liked the gift! I just want to tell you that i never regretted buying you the gift.. at least to me...its worth it! I jus want you to be happy...the rest of the things dosent matter Mel!

Dun worry about me here, i be fine...and glad that you already found someone to take care of you. Looks like you dun need me to worry about you anymore..i shall hand you over to him from now on.... hope u really find your true happiness with him...all the best to the 2 of you!

Regards,

Shawn]

Mel never heard from Shawn again after that. She didnt know whether she was doing the right thing anot but she knew that it was the best sloution to end both their misery! Few days later, Mel met up with Jacko...

[Mel]: Jacko...there is something i want to tell you...

[Jacko]: Yes?

[Part 10 - The Ending]

[Mel]: Jacko..im sorry..really very sorry! I...dun tink we can be together! Its very unfair to you! You are such a nice guy! Im sure you deserve someone much more better than me...

[Jacko]: Mel...please dont say that! I can give you more time...

[Mel]: No..i dun want you to waste anymore time on me.... its all my fault!

[Jacko]: Ok if that is really the case, i respect your decision! I dun want to stress you also. If letting you go, you will feel happier then i do it!!!

[Mel]: Thks Jacko! *Offering a handshake* Friends??

[Jacko]: Well of cse!! And by the way, tats a very beautiful necklace on your neck! Is from??

[Mel]: Oh..its from a good friend!Deep inside Jacko's heart, he knew that the necklace was from Shawn. Mel had never mention anything about Shawn to Jacko before.

Jacko found out by himself when one day, he was at Mel's house, he happened to see all the mails that Shawn send to her!

Even though he was jealous of Shawn but he never ever questioned Mel before because he trusted her! Jacko knew that the break up was partly due to Shawn also. It really pains Jacko's heart to let go of Mel.

Jacko just couldnt understand why she told Shawn that she was seeing someone already but yet she still choose to let go of this relationship! But one thing for surez, Mel had not forgotten about Shawn!!

One late nite when Mel had already fell asleep, suddenly she heard her doorbell rang so she went to open the door...

[Mel]: *Rubbing her eyes* Yes? Its so late already...wat do you want??

[Shawn]: Mel...

[Mel]: Shawn?? Howcome its you?? When did you came back??

[Shawn]: Mel..are you alright? Someone wrote an email to me telling me that something happened to you and it seem like very urgent so tats why i took the last flight and rushed back to see you...Mel didnt know who wrote the email to Shawn. But seeing Shawn standing right in front of her, she just couldnt believe her own eyes!

[Mel]: So...so you still care for me don't you?

[Shawn]: I... i really cant bring myself to forget you. You been always on my mind! When you said all those words to me in the email, do you know how hurting it was?? I feel as though a thosuand needle poking through my heart!

[Mel]: I thought that i could get over you too but it seem like its never the case. I know that you have changed a lot because of me... i noe that you cared for me all these while.. everything that you did for me, i remembered all in my heart but just want i wanted to changed my mind and be with you... you told me u gotta leave... i thought we wont have a chance to be togther anymore...

[Shawn]: Mel.. will you give me a chance to take care of you? I promise to love you for the rest of my life.... will u wait for me???

[Mel]: *Sobbing* Yes i will...

[Mel & Shawn]: *Hugz*

@}~~~[THE END]~~~{@

The writer says:

Finally the story came to an end! Well..it certainly is a happy ending for both Mel and Shawn. In a triangle relationship, there is always one person who got to sacrifice.

And the one who choose to let go in the end usually do not have a choice! Sometimes things don’t go the way you want it to be and the only thing you can do is to accept the fact and slowly let time heal back the wound!

But is always easier said than done! Jacko loved Mel with all his heart but yet Mel still decided to let go of the R/S and ended up, Jacko was being hurt when he never even done anything wrong!

But Jacko did not have any regrets!

Whatever he did for Mel, all was because he loved her! Love does not give you a license to own someone.

Even if the person is with you and yet the heart is thinking about someone else…do you still feel happy being with the person??

I don’t think you will! But its never easy to forget someone whom you used to love so much just like that! No matter what, life still gotta moves on. Hope all the couples out there stayed happily ever after and those single ones to meet your true love soon! Lastly, I like to thank all my readers for all the support!

Jo